Silences Voice• Show poetry

R.I.P. Grandpa Robert P. Bond---May 31st, 2009


Well, I've been looking at a lot of peoples profiles and they all seem to have a little bit about themselves on there so I thought I should finally do the same.

Where to start...hmmm..Well, for starters my name is Amanda. Different people call me different things. Cookie, Panda, Pikachu, Shorty, Juggalette, take your pick or call me something else, doesn't matter to me.

Poetry and Theatre are my life. You take that from me and you'll lose yours. I have many friends, all I care about dearly, but few I can honestly say I trust. I "trust" just about everyone to a certain extent. If I come to trust you, don't screw it up.

I come from a very messed up childhood. My family is very broken and very disfunctional. I may keep my emotion and feelings tucked away, but my scars say so much more. Please don't try and poke and prod at trying to get me to talk to you about my shit, because that just irratates me. If I want to tell you I will.

My poetry, yes, tends to be very dark and sometimes morbid. That's just how it is. You don't like it? Don't leave a crude harsh comment, and move on! Constructive criticism is good, being mean is not! I try my best and thats all you can ask for.

So all in all, please feel free to comment, message, etc. I'll return the favor.
Enjoy!





|Name|: Amanda
|Age|: 16
|Born|: September 14th, 1992
|Gender|: female
|Living In|: California
|Sexual Orientation|: n/a
|In a Relationship|: Yes
|Skin Color|: white
|Hair|: whatever i feel like
|Eye Color|: depends on my mood
|Piercings|: ears and whatever else I feel like piercing that day
|Tattoos|: Yes. 2. My sisters names and the years they were born on my ankles
|Zodiac Sign|: virgo
|Fav. Colors|: Black and purple
|Fav. Music|: Rock
|Fav. Song|: "We Don't Die" by ICP and "Crooked Spoons" by OT3P
|Fav. Band|: ICP and OT3P
|Fav. Season|: fall
|Fav. Food|: breakfast foods
|Fav. Candy|: Reeses
|Fav. Television Show|: House
|Fav. Movie|: Rocky horror, rent, just about any kind of musical. (real musical)



Quotes:

"Happiness can come in many shapes and forms, but only through the pain is the happiness worth the wait." --Me

"Everyone wants to be happy, nobody wants to be in pain, but you can't have a rainbow without any rain." --Anonymous

"My sanity wrote a suicide note but
One of us is illiterate
And the other is blind"--Otep Shamaya

"Remember, do not slide into bed with the Devil unless you intend to fuck."--Otep Shamaya


"When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us."--Helen Keller

"So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains
And we never even know we have the key."--Lyrics from Already Gone, peformed by the Eagles for their 1974 On the Border album



-PLEASE READ THIS-

My name is Sarah I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall. I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry. He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more,I finally get free And I run for the door. He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor. My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me.

Paste this into your profile to help stop child abuse.



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Amanda's.
Alone in a dark room
She has run out of options
She has no one to turn to
No one to care
She's crying and scared
But she must do it
This world’s just too cruel
No one will notice
A little girl has killed herself
A gun in her hand
Black and emotionless
This is it
The suffering ends tonight
The loneliness stops now
The fight is over
The deed done
On the floor she lies
Not a breath she takes
A gun in her hand
And blood running down her face

An unsuspecting mother
Comes to tell her daughter good night
But she hears a gun shot
And is stricken with fright
She runs down the hall
Horror tearing at her heart
She slams open the door
And stops mid breath
Her only daughter
Dead on the floor
Her face tell no tale
But her note tells more

She had no one to turn to
So the poor girl lost her mind
Alone and scared
She decided to take her life

A mother heart broken
And an only daughter dead
The crime was committed
The deed was done
A lonely girl left in a dark room
With a bullet and gun

So what is the point of this horrible night
Learn to listen to your children
Other than live this night
Hear their pleas
And their cries for help
Show them the light at the end of the tunnel
Because once the deed is done
It will always be
Once your child is dead
They won't be coming back


The author knows who she is, and don't worry..
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Lay Me to Rest(i love this poem; By: PuRfekly-Phlaw3d)

Lay me to rest
underneath the tree and stars

never again to be burdened by these scars

once again my skin is clean for now i know
what serenity means

no more blood, no more tears
no more running from my fears

do not cry do not weep
for now i enjoy my peaceful sleep

lay me to rest beneath the tree and stars

lay me to rest
so i may begin the quest that God called Death

lay me to rest beneath the tree and stars..

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Crimson Cries
Her parent's lies cause her crimson cries
Her blood staind tears chase away her deepest fears
her friends always leave her
her parents decive her
she lost and confused in a world
in which she is abused
she has scars on her arm that did no harm
but the scars on her heart tear at her soul
and rip her asunder
everyday she lives a lie ,telling herself
"I don't want to die"
her pain drives her insane
as it runs through her veins
the Broken Razor mends her broken heart
it tears her skin and rips her flesh
'til her skin looks like a net of mesh
the slits on her wrist are not to bring bliss
but to forget her father's hurtful fist
or her mother's hateful "Tsk"
and the sins too long to list

my best friend caseybear............casey wrote this and I absolutely LOVE it! so I thought i would share it will ya'll! ^_^ AND! it was one of his very first poems he ever wrote!

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[ Her eyes are swollen ]

Her eyes are swollen
Her face is red
Her legs thrown open
His face she dreads
She trusted him
She's only six
Her dignity gone
In thrusts his dick
He covered her face
With a black blind-fold
He raped her hard
Tightly he holds
Her hands now tied
She's bound and gaged
She screams out loud
But only gets stabbed
He pushes it in harder
She coughs up blood
He pulls it out
She falls with a thud
She's fallin' and bruised
She's been fxxxing used
She's lying there crying
On the floor dying..


This is another poem.....i really love this poem....but it hurts to read it....this poem hits me close to the heart and the person who wrote i will not say, but she knows who she is....but i love her so much!

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amanda.. for you.

When I promised that there would be no more
slashing in my veins,
did I really mean it?
Did she really promise it too?
She calls me up,
says she’s sorry.
But now there’s four more.
I say it’s ok.
and comfort her,
tell her no more.
We both solemnly swear,
no more at all,
neither of us.
I call her up,
tell her I’m sorry,
but now there’s six more.
She says its ok,
now NO MORE!!
but it only continues.
As we sit on the floor,
starting at one slash,
then two,
three and more.
The lies never end.
The promised are not kept.
The promises only bleed upon the floor.
As we call each other up,
confessions galore.
But not only did we promise that to each other,
we promised to our lives.
To the others,
now we lied.
I’m sorry I say,
but that does not work.
The guys start dieing down,
they say you promised,
now you lied.
so goodbye.
What if I can’t do this no more,
the lies that bleed upon the floor.
I’m scared,
she’s scared,
we will promise once more...


I just found this poem....and i didn't know she wrote this.....but i do wish it wouldn't go like this....but i absofreakinglutly love the person who wrote it and she knows who she is. luv ya!
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girl: hey baby i want to show you....
Boy: ( cutting her off ) ugh i'm so mad
Girl: why? whats wrong ?
Boy: ugh everything
Girl: explain baby
Boy: just lost a championship game,
parents flipped out on me for no reason,
and im catching a cold
Girl: well hey there will always be other games,
you know ill take care of you when your sick,
what your parents flip about ?
Boy: they are making me pay them for a car repair
Girl: is it alot of money
Boy: no it just sucks
Boy: but hey i dont feel well im going to go lay down
Boy: bye
Girl: wait i want to give you some...
Boy: cant it wait til tommorow ?
Girl: yeah sure
Girl: bye
Boy: bye


2 hours later a friend of hers asks her to go for a drive ...she
goes.....

her friend swerved to avoid a truck....hitting a tree instead

her friend was killed instantly....shes in critical condition


This is the conversation between her sister and her boyfriend

Sister: omg ( crying )
Boy: what? whats wrong ?
Sister: my sister...your gf was involved in a major car wreck
Boy: is she ok ? ?????
Sister: shes in critical condition
Boy: i'll be there in 10 minutes


He shows up to the hospital room ...standing outside the door
going over the last conversation in his mind over and over as he
heard the machines beep and beep and breathing tubes pump


Boy: she wanted to give me something or tell me something
Girls mom: yeah this...

it was an envelope smelling like she did sealed with a kiss in
lipstick

he opened it.....

it said ..... your everything to me....i love you with everything i
am
and everything i have...i want to spend the rest of my life with you

sealed in it was a ripped movie ticket from the first movie they
went to

and the first picture they took together

he kissed the picture as a tear fell from his face onto the picture

it looked as if in the picture she was crying

then the machines flatlined....3 minutes later she was pronounced
dead


If you have any heart...any soul...or want to be happy you will
repost this.
if you care for someone ...do not let something like this ever happen

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FUCK LITTLE BOYS LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Boy: Where were you last night????

Girl: I was at my grandmothers helping her around the house.

Boy: Why didnt you fuckin call me?

Girl: Baby Im sorry i lost track of time.

Boy: Not as sorry as your going to be bitch!
(the boy grabs her by the hair and slams her to the ground)

Girl: Please baby stop im sorry!

Boy: (Kicks her in the face and then the ribs and says): I called your fuckin grandmothers house! you were not fuckin there you lying peice of shit!

Girl: Wait stop please let me...

Boy: (Steps on her throat and says): Shut the fuck up bitch.

(Get's over the top of her and starts to rape her.)

Girl: No baby please Stop please!

Boy: I said shut the fuck up!
(he spit in her face.)

He then pins her down with her hands above her head, and he penatrates her.

Girl: Please stop your hurting me please!

She starts to scream and tries to get away.

Boy: Bitch if you don't shut up i sware to god ill kill you!
after a few minutes he finishes and removes the rest of her clothes and pushes her out in the snow, saying:

Boy:stay away from here you nasty bitch.

Girl: (Crying and sobbing she takes out a Rolex watch and says): today is christmas i was just getting your gift. She gets in her car,
she gets home and takes a long shower....


Two months later she goes to apply for a job and has to take a drug test. The boss comes out and says "i have news for you your not on drugs, but you are pregnant." The girl begins to cry and drives home she decides to call the boy but, he doesn't answer.......


6 months later she is almost nine months pregnant and the phone rings its the boy.


Girl: I missed you so much i have news for you im pregnant and its your baby!


Boy: Really well................................. Look you nasty bitch that is not my baby! get the fuck over me! i hate your guts you are a nasty whore! fuck you never call me again... ohh yeah, and i never loved you, you were just another piece of ass. The boy hangs up.


Girl thinks to herself.. I think its finally over.
she calls her mom....


Mom: Hi Baby. How are you?

Girl: Im fine how are you?

Mom: Good.

Girl: Mom I was callin you to tell you that i love you okay.

Mom: I love you to baby. Do you think you are coming over today?

Girl: Nah i think im just going to take a long nap.

Mom: Okay, bye then baby, sleep tight.

Girl: I will mom goodnight. Hangs up.

Mom realizes its only 9 am and has a bad feeling. she drives over to her daughters house, opens the door and see's her daughter hanging from the ceiling fan, her wrists are cut and shes not breathing she is rushed to the hospital. The baby is saved..............................................


15 years later the baby, all grown now, kills her father, the man that conceived her and raped her mother and then kills herself.


If you have a heart then repost this

Guys repost this (I would never)
Girl repost this (fuck little boys like this).