Schizophrenia• Show poetry

Stillborn...The perfect song to describe me

Blind me, erase what was
Stillborn I have become
The feelings I once felt are now dead and gone
I've waited here for you for so very long

So empty, just a shell of a man
Stillborn, this I understand
The feelings I once felt are now dead and gone
I've waited here for you for so very long

I've waited here for you so long
I've waited here for you
For you

The feelings I once felt are now dead and gone
I've waited here for you for so very long
I've waited here for you so long
I've waited here for you so long
I've waited here for you so long
I've waited here for you
For you



Well lets see about me....
I have no friends...
I choose it to be that way there was a time when I thought I needed friends but that has long since past
I think love is a waste of time and so is letting people get close to you emotionly
If you think your life is worse than mine then kill yourself and save me the drama
If you think i care about you, you are wrong I care for no one and that is how it will always be
And if you are a friend to someone prove it...take risks for them speak up when they need a voice be there for them and stand up to people for them but no not in this world no one does that so this is why firends are a waste of my time because they are not friends at all
I am a heretic
An outcast to everything and I like it that way

My goals in life:
1.Actually find and keep love-deemed impossible be me
2.Help those who need it
3.Actually find a friend who treats me the same everywhere not just alone
4.Leave my mark in history good or evil
5.Have twins
6.Convert a preist to evil ways
7.Single handingly destroy the government
8.Prove to the world insanity is a gift not a curse
9.To be at two certin womens wedding (you know who you are hun)-they broke up so much for love
10.To master the German language
11.Tell her that I love her-she said no so much for my love...

Sayings that could change your life:
1.Silence is never heard but almost always misinterpreted
2.Its not the fact that you live life till the end its what you do in between that matters
3.It's not the fact that you are fighting. It's who you are fighting for
4.For every mistake I make there is a scar,but one mistake to many and there is a gravestone
5.(this one is me to the letter)
this a GUY TALKING

IT'S 7TH GRADE...


I stared at the girl next to me...She was my so called 'best friend'... I stared at her.... Long, silky hair... And I wished she was mine... But she didn't notice me like that... I knew it... After class she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before... And I handed them to her... She said 'thanks'... And gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to tell her.... I want her to know that I don't want to be 'just friends'... I love her but I'm too shy to tell her... And I don't know why...





IT'S JUNIOR YEAR...


My phone rang... On the other end it was her... She was in tears... Mumbling on and on about how her love had broken her heart... She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone... So I did... As I sat next to her on the sofa... I stared at her soft eyes... Wishing she was mine... After 2 hours... A Drew Barrymore movie... And 3 bags of chips... She decided to go to sleep... She looked at me.. Said 'thanks' and gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to tell her... I want her to know... That I don't want to be 'just friends'... I love her but I'm too shy to tell her... And I don't know why...





IT'S SENIOR YEAR...


The day before prom... She walked to my locker... 'My date is sick' she said... He's not going to go... Well... I didn't have a date and in 7th grade... We made a promise that if neiter of us had dates.... We'd go together just as 'best friends'... And so we did...





IT'S PROM NIGHT...


After everything was over with... I was standing at her front door step... I stared at her ... She smiled at me... I wanted her to be mine... But she doesn't think of me like that... And I know it... Then she said 'I had the best time... Thanks!'... And she gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to telll her... I wanted her to know that I don't want to be 'just friends'... I love her but I'm just too shy... And I don't know why...





IT'S GRADUATION DAY....


A day passed... And then a week... And then a month... Before I could blink... It was graduation day... I watched her... Perfect body.... Floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma... I wanted her to be mine... But she doesn't think of me that way... And I know it... Before everyone went home... She came to me in her smock and hat... And cried as I hugged her... Then she lifted her head from my shoulders and said 'you're my best friend'... 'Thanks!'... And gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to tell her.. I wanted to know that I wanted to be more than 'just friends'.... I love her but I'm too shy... And I don't know why...





IT'S A FEW YEARS LATER...


Now I sit in the pews of the church... A church that she is getting married in now... I watched her say 'I do' an drive off to her new life... Married to another man... I wanted her to be mine... But she didn't see me like that... And I knew it... But before she drove away... She came to me and said 'You came!... Thanks!'.... And she kissed me on the cheek... I wanted to tell her... I wantd her to know that I didn't want to be 'just friends'... I love her but I'm just too shy... And I don't know why...





YEARS PASSED...


I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my 'best friend'... At the service they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years... This is what it said... 'I stare at him... Wishing he was mine.... But he doesn't notice me like that... And I know it... I wanted to tell him... I wanted him to know... That I don't want to be 'just friends'... I love him but I'm just too shy... And I don't know why... I wish he would tell me he loved me'... I wish I did too... I thought to myself and I cried...

I Actually told her how I felt...My best friend the one girl I Could say "I love you" to and mean it fully for all eternity and it still not be enough to show her how much I really care and when she said no...this is what I said...Better to of loved and lost then never loved at all for whats the point of life without the risk of heartbreak for you never know when it will reach that one person you can spend eternity with...