Rose Darkest Night• Show poetry

WARNING THE FOLLOWING MATERIAL MAY BURN YOUR EYES AND MENTALLY AND OR PHYSICALLY RETARD YOU!
Enjoy!
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Hobos!
Clicky click click!

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So anyway...Hey! I'm Keni. The greatest person you're going to ever meet in your entire life. Yup, I am, don't let the media fool you. I'm the coolest, yes, yes I am.
Oh oh oh! Wait! No, I'm wrong.
JESUS CHRIST IS THE COOLEST!!!!!!!
Yes, the statement above is a sign that I am a happy slappy Jesus Freak! I love him! I've devoted my life to my Lord, and I'm going to be a Missionary/Communications Arts-Drama Minor someday!
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I am a psychopath. Please do not let this waver you against me.
377 *HUGS* TOTAL!
give Keni more *HUGS*

Get hugs of your own

Hug me I'm special
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Welllll...some little things about me.
I'm a virgo.
I'm an extremely happy Christian.
I'm trying to convince my parentals to let me have a facebook.
The above is annoyingly hard to do.
I play Basketball.
Volleyball.
Some baseball.
I'm doing track this year for High-jump and Long jump.
I love the way I am and I can come off as conceded at times.
I'm pigheaded and stubborn.
I'm a people person and love to make new friends.
I go to church and youth group.
I find cursing distasteful.
I am completely and utterly obsessed with the Twilight Series.
I'm single and I've never been happier about it.
I get good grades in school (I think )
I want to either attend Bethany Bible College in Canada or Indiana Wesleyan University.
I want to live in Africa someday as a Missionary.
I'm obsessed with the song "Grace Like Rain."
I'm an ubberdork.
I like to Role Play.
And I'm getting bored with this. XD
Oh! And I have a tiny attention span. >.<

♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠♠

You can find pictures of me on Photobucket.com. My screen name is KagCheza15. Oh...and I just realized I also have pictures of me on my column labeled "Old AP Page." >.< Haha...I'm dumb.
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Hush, look, whisper who dares,
Someone sits at the top of the stairs,
There's blood on the carpet,
Fur on the mat,
Christopher Robin's Castrated the Cat.

--This has been stolen from Aletti Vien's page XD Sorry had to steal it, thought it was hilarious.
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~~~ALL MY OLD NAMES!~~~
darkdesires666
Kagome15
Lady Kagome Nayseem
Lady Elia Nayseem
Lady Elia Elric
Lady Melody Stone

I go through names like CaNdY xD

CANDY!!!!!! O.o yum ^-^ I like candy XD


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I have an account on the online games:
DOMO (Dream of Mirror Online)
ZU Online
My Screen name for DOMO is: lullabydreamer
My Screen name for ZU is: Anaxanamone

ADD MEEEEEE!!!!!
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Weeeeelllll, my AP/RP family got WAY too long for my home page, so I condensed them into a column! No that does not mean I love you less, just now you are less important!

lol jking

[My Family! Woop!]

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This is the conquest bunny, he's totally awesome. Add him to your page to further help him in his quest to dominate the world!

(\/)
(O.O)
(> <)
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QUOTES I LIKE TO LIVE BY!!!!
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...or just laugh at a lot O.o

"A good friend is someone who will bail you out of jail in the middle of the night. A true friend would be the person sitting beside you saying 'Damn that was fun!'"

"They say the good die young. So, I say the way to eternal life is to be a world class jerk. So go ahead, kick some puppies, yell at some little kids, and push old ladies into heavy traffic. It's like taking vitamins."

"People who say it's as easy as taking candy from a baby. Obviously haven't tried it." O.o

"Mothers of teenagers know why some animals eat their young."

"Drop the chocolate, and no one gets hurt "

"I got a jar a dirt; I got a jar of a dirt, and guess what's inside!"
---CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!!!!

"My turd is a direct connection to our Lord Jesus Christ!" Old Doctor from "Running with Scissor"...no lie...he actually said that...

"He said, 'I don't know why you wear a bra. You've nothing to put in it.

She said, 'You wear pants don't you?"
-random display pic on AP

"I dream of a better world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned." -random pic I found on photobucket XD
"don't drink water! fish have sex in it" -thank you photobucket xD
"Roses are red. Violets are blue. God made me beautiful, what happened to you?" -ah photobucket XD
QUOTES THAT STRIKE ME STRONG: --------------------- "Shoot for the moon, because even if you miss, you'll land among the stars."--no idea who said this. Still amazing. "So curling my fingers and hearing them pop, I placed my curled hand against the mirror, To make the shape of a heart with my reflection, And decided form there on in, I would love only myself." --The last stanza from Deaths-Gift-My-Curse's poem: Wishing Mirror. ♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪

STUPID THINGS AND CONVERSATIONS I'VE HAD:

"BEHOLD THE POWER OF THE BOOBS!" Nicole My loveable little boob twin

"Are they speaking Mexican???" Ah Danielle, there is a reason your my best friend XD I lack the power to fully comprehend it though >.<

Mandy-"Chewy's ears are the size of my buttcheek."
Me-"That's a little big ins't it?"
Mandy-"Yah pretty much, but his ears are like the size of Texas. AKA, my buttcheek."


"YOU SAW NOTHING!!!!!"-lil Brandon


"Kim - You know that skin on your elbow is called your wenis?
Me - I have a wenis!?
Kim - *poke* I touched your wenis!  
Me - MOM! Kim keeps touching my wenis!"

"Kim - *poke* I touched your wenis
Me - stop touching my wenis gosh!
Case - you said Penis!
Me - you moron I said wenis!
Case - They're the same thing!
Me - definitely not, unless you have junk on your elbow instead of skin! XD."

"I thought 'Big Fish' was about a horse..." Me, watching TV while totally whacked out at 11:00

"Oh look! A fairy, a construction worker, and...a man-woman..." The woman at the door we went to during Halloween 2005 xD

"Mandy-You know what! I don't care anyway. It's better to shave down there then to look like freaking Godzilla!

Me-Mandy, Godzilla was a lizard monster...he didn't have hair..."

"Josh: you dumb...
Josh: o.o
Josh: Like a turtle
Keni: gee I love you too -_-
Josh: YOU DO!
Josh:
Keni: lol geek
Josh: Lets...
Josh: Make LOVE!
Josh: You should really
Josh:
Keni: and you should really get some counseling...and medication. your dorkness! it's strangling me!"

"Keni: so enjoying playing Nacht? you don't usually play girlys
Chris: it's cool, I'm making her a psyco slut XD
*Five minutes later*
Chris: i just got asked what it feels like to play a chick
Keni: lol what'd you say?
Chris: i said it made me feel sexy. "

Ah, Chris. What I wouldn't give to do a few indecently painful things to you
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♥
God has changed my life forever and for the better!!!! I hope everyone out there gets the chance to have his hand upon you so you can finally see and be happy for eternity!!!!!!!!

♥
♥♥I love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!♥♥

 

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.

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This is something that really hit me. It's beautiful...and it's just...it's sticking to me.



TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS by Jamie Tworkowski

Pedro the Lion is loud in the speakers, and the city waits just outside our open windows. She sits and sings, legs crossed in the passenger seat, her pretty voice hiding in the volume. Music is a safe place and Pedro is her favorite. It hits me that she won't see this skyline for several weeks, and we will be without her. I lean forward, knowing this will be written, and I ask what she'd say if her story had an audience. She smiles. "Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars."

I would rather write her a song, because songs don't wait to resolve, and because songs mean so much to her. Stories wait for endings, but songs are brave things bold enough to sing when all they know is darkness. These words, like most words, will be written next to midnight, between hurricane and harbor, as both claim to save her.

Renee is 19. When I meet her, cocaine is fresh in her system. She hasn't slept in 36 hours and she won't for another 24. It is a familiar blur of coke, pot, pills and alcohol. She has agreed to meet us, to listen and to let us pray. We ask Renee to come with us, to leave this broken night. She says she'll go to rehab tomorrow, but she isn't ready now. It is too great a change. We pray and say goodbye and it is hard to leave without her.

She has known such great pain; haunted dreams as a child, the near-constant presence of evil ever since. She has felt the touch of awful naked men, battled depression and addiction, and attempted suicide. Her arms remember razor blades, fifty scars that speak of self-inflicted wounds. Six hours after I meet her, she is feeling trapped, two groups of "friends" offering opposite ideas. Everyone is asleep. The sun is rising. She drinks long from a bottle of liquor, takes a razor blade from the table and locks herself in the bathroom. She cuts herself, using the blade to write "FUCK UP" large across her left forearm.

The nurse at the treatment center finds the wound several hours later. The center has no detox, names her too great a risk, and does not accept her. For the next five days, she is ours to love. We become her hospital and the possibility of healing fills our living room with life. It is unspoken and there are only a few of us, but we will be her church, the body of Christ coming alive to meet her needs, to write love on her arms.

She is full of contrast, more alive and closer to death than anyone I've known, like a Johnny Cash song or some theatre star. She owns attitude and humor beyond her 19 years, and when she tells me her story, she is humble and quiet and kind, shaped by the pain of a hundred lifetimes. I sit privileged but breaking as she shares. Her life has been so dark yet there is some soft hope in her words, and on consecutive evenings, I watch the prettiest girls in the room tell her that she's beautiful. I think it's God reminding her.

I've never walked this road, but I decide that if we're going to run a five-day rehab, it is going to be the coolest in the country. It is going to be rock and roll. We start with the basics; lots of fun, too much Starbucks and way too many cigarettes.

Thursday night she is in the balcony for Band Marino, Orlando's finest. They are indie-folk-fabulous, a movement disguised as a circus. She loves them and she smiles when I point out the A&R man from Atlantic Europe, in town from London just to catch this show.

She is in good seats when the Magic beat the Sonics the next night, screaming like a lifelong fan with every Dwight Howard dunk. On the way home, we stop for more coffee and books, Blue Like Jazz and (Anne Lamott's) Travelling Mercies.

On Saturday, the Taste of Chaos tour is in town and I'm not even sure we can get in, but doors do open and minutes after parking, we are on stage for Thrice, one of her favorite bands. She stands ten feet from the drummer, smiling constantly. It is a bright moment there in the music, as light and rain collide above the stage. It feels like healing. It is certainly hope.

Sunday night is church and many gather after the service to pray for Renee, this her last night before entering rehab. Some are strangers but all are friends tonight. The prayers move from broken to bold, all encouraging. We're talking to God but I think as much, we're talking to her, telling her she's loved, saying she does not go alone. One among us knows her best. Ryan sits in the corner strumming an acoustic guitar, singing songs she's inspired.

After church our house fills with friends, there for a few more moments before goodbye. Everyone has some gift for her, some note or hug or piece of encouragement. She pulls me aside and tells me she would like to give me something. I smile surprised, wondering what it could be. We walk through the crowded living room, to the garage and her stuff.

She hands me her last razor blade, tells me it is the one she used to cut her arm and her last lines of cocaine five nights before. She's had it with her ever since, shares that tonight will be the hardest night and she shouldn't have it. I hold it carefully, thank her and know instantly that this moment, this gift, will stay with me. It hits me to wonder if this great feeling is what Christ knows when we surrender our broken hearts, when we trade death for life.

As we arrive at the treatment center, she finishes: "The stars are always there but we miss them in the dirt and clouds. We miss them in the storms. Tell them to remember hope. We have hope."

I have watched life come back to her, and it has been a privilege. When our time with her began, someone suggested shifts but that is the language of business. Love is something better. I have been challenged and changed, reminded that love is that simple answer to so many of our hardest questions. Don Miller says we're called to hold our hands against the wounds of a broken world, to stop the bleeding. I agree so greatly.

We often ask God to show up. We pray prayers of rescue. Perhaps God would ask us to be that rescue, to be His body, to move for things that matter. He is not invisible when we come alive. I might be simple but more and more, I believe God works in love, speaks in love, is revealed in our love. I have seen that this week and honestly, it has been simple: Take a broken girl, treat her like a famous princess, give her the best seats in the house. Buy her coffee and cigarettes for the coming down, books and bathroom things for the days ahead. Tell her something true when all she's known are lies. Tell her God loves her. Tell her about forgiveness, the possibility of freedom, tell her she was made to dance in white dresses. All these things are true.

We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.

I have learned so much in one week with one brave girl. She is alive now, in the patience and safety of rehab, covered in marks of madness but choosing to believe that God makes things new, that He meant hope and healing in the stars. She would ask you to remember.

 

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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.
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(¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•.



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