Reflective Beauty• Show poetry

-A Life Like That-
How do you deal with a past...
that follows you,
like the shadow ...
which mocks you as the golden sun reclines?
The life in which your soul
could only diminish as
your mother drank her self away...
and her lover used his control to erase you.
You tasted the fist
and the crimson provoked by such a strike.
The scars of truth linger in your being,
as he sliced you with his tormenting words and touch.
What do you do with a life like that?
You write about it of course...© Loretta Hanscome

And that is what I have been doing! I hope that my experiences are just as powerful to read, as they were to write!

About me:
To You, ------- Hi! How are you? My name is Loretta. The
I am an illusionist. I wear a smile of pretense. Those around me believe, I grin for I am happy. I honestly am grinning, because I am sad. I grin, because that is what those around me need to see. I am what those around me need me to be. I do not know how to be anything else. I will not lie, I wish I could be for me sometimes...but I do not desire my happiness, as I do yours.

I am a female with so much about me, that I hide...I want to let me go...but those around me do not like that...I have always heard, as long as you are happy...thinness makes me happy, or at least capable of forgetting my unhappiness, so why do they stand in my way?

In all truth, I guess I am not me. I am everyone else, within my body. Perhaps if I eliminate my body, I can eliminate my need to make you happy.... I have many different sides of me. There is the girl that desires health, white roses, the sun, freshly cut grass, kisses, the soft touch of love, success, friendship, happiness and being a delightful being. The other side of me really enjoys: black nights, rain drops, rain clouds, thunderstorm, black roses, my ability to mutilate myself with little to no shame.I know that sounds awkward and rather "bipolar" as society would label it, for such a seperation within a being's behavior must be provoked by some illness. I appreciate the ability to have either sides of me, because my poetry, writing, art, they all have much more depth, and the diversity is grand! I, like many, have had a difficult past, but instead of having faith in humanity repaying me for my background, I wish all would know how much of a blessing it really was. If I hadn't had so many flavors to taste, in my life, so much variety, then I believe, I would have little to nothing to tell. I would have even less to care about! So in otherwords...when reading my poetry, don't feel sorrow for me, but for those whom have been through much of the same, and feel sorry for themselves. When considering me, if you do that is, only think: wow, what a grand way to tell a story! If you could not possibly think that, for my writing was not worthy, than please provide suggestions! Thank you so much! Enjoy! ~Loretta




DEADLY TRUTH-Taste of autobiography
My Story-Loretta's Eating Disorder Memoir
--I began purging when I was six. Hadn't a reason really. Just
slapped my torso and stared at my reflection. Asked my mother, whom
was now bent over her porceline palace, "How do you do that." She
than stated that it was just a habit, whenever she drank too much and
felt full. I decided that she did it much too often, for it to only
relieve her of her excessive alcohol consumption, and concluded
that,"this is why Mommy is thin and flawless." Mommy; however was not
thin and flawless. Her skeletal shell was only the presence of the
devil nipping at her heels, and pleading for her to dance into her
blurred vision, and sudden rush of adrenline. Her eyes often sparkled
when she was done, pouring her fear into the white ear of ceramic
secrecy. I always thought that the glisten was strangely beautiful.
The day I realized I was an excessive existence, was the day I
concluded, that I must be less. I must be beautiful like Mommy. I
must contain that glassy eyed sparkle she so often contained. "Could
I?" I wondered, as I bent over the toilet, stared at my youthful
reflection, dropped my agonizing tears into the clear puddle, and
heaved. Heaved until my stomach tore at my insides and my insides
began to fall from my trembling lips."God is going to kill me. I will
die from this." I actually thought this, but strangely shrugged my
childish shoulders and wiped my face with the towel upon the floor.---

Who I'd like to meet:
You* Wayne Theodore Marya Hornbacher Steven King Chuck Close Dali Jesus Other Biblical Beings Christina Aguilera Jewel Tori Amos Fiona Apple

General- Writing: poetry, novels, short stories, books, health articles, essays, and lyrics. Collages, painting, photography, sketching portraits mostly, designing clothes. Singing and dancing. True stories: crime, biographies, autobiographies, memoirs,etc Health, weight, exercise, depression, "disorders", psychologists, food obsession, compulsion,calories, substance abuse, etc Pretty much humans.

Music- Jewel Kidney Theives Nickleback Britney Spears Jason Aldean Superchicks Kelly Clarkson Pink Christina Aguilera Micheal Jackson Janet Jackson Silverchair Ozzy Osbourne NSYNC Tupac Shakur Jay Z Selena Joss Stone Marvin Gaye Evanessence Incubus -Nearly Anything: It's all rather amazing I think-

Movies- Thin-HBO Documentary Dying For Perfection Queen Of The Damned Dysturbia* The Number 23* Texas Chainsaw
Knocked Up

Television- Don't really like it much...I get fidgety and bored. I worry about calories a lot so it really bothers me to sit and watch television or films for very long. I do like some though: ~American Justice ~The Daily Show ~South Park

Books- Wayne Wasted My Names Davy And I'm An Alcoholic Second Star To The Right Starving For Attention An Appetite For Life Leaving Food Behind The Best Little Girl In The World -Anything by: V.C. Andrews Mary Higgins Clark Or True! (Especially crime or something I can relate to.)

Heroes Jesus My sister Sally. Marya Hornbacher, Jewel, Jesus, Marya Hornbacher
My icon because of my obsession with perfection: Britney Spears, I know she is only a fav, because I found her flawless for so long...