RedCloud

Hello...
I'm Brooklyn, many call me Brook, few call me Brookin, and only one person calls me Cookie. That person is the one I love...
I'm 16 years old, and ever since I was born, I knew I was unloved. Born pretty much into the military, I've been moved around since I was old enough to walk, and ever since then I've been heartbroken, stolen of my innocence, failed at life, failed at completing, and failed to see the better side of things.
I've been writing poetry ever since I was 10, singing since I've been able to speak, and every now and then, whenever the right idea hits me, I write stories.
I spend most of my time thinking, finding challenges for myself, or mutalating. Sadly, Mutalation has taken over my life... Music is one of my only escapes....
Most people by now whould have left the page in hope for someone without as many issuses as myself, even though I know my life could be way worse.
Easy Stuff? Let's go:
My hair is originaly dark brown, but due to my inside feeling I have dyed it black.
I'm tetering on the line between straight and gay.
I live in Kentucky, but more so in my closet.
Because I'm mostly in my closet, I've become isolated from my friends and my family.
I have OCD
I binge and purge, simply because I'm fat... Well I look fat.
I self harm, well whenever I can. So my arms, my legs, the parts of my back I can reach, and my stomach.

Now for the not so easy stuff... The stuff you have nightmares about....
My two best friends, raped me, one impreganted me, but I suffered from a miscarrage.... Yet I still love them... :/
I've attempted to end it all at least 4 times, the deepest cut was about 4 cm. deep, so it'd be classified as a gash I guess..
I've been in several abusive realtionships.. but I still care for each and everyone of them...
If you haven't realized by now, I have trust issuses and issuses of letting go...
I'm on suicide watch
And have been suicidal for 4 years, depressed for over 5 years...
My dad is about to be let go from his position in the infantry, because of an ancle broken in 2 places.
My mother has tried to OD
I barely eat, but I weight 150 lbs.
I do any and every drug that I can get ahold of.
There is plenty of support for the depressed her, yet I don't wish to let anyone in for my problems, my demons, my everything to go away...
My dad, both biological and step, think of me as a waste of time, and my mother is over-protective, but I refuse to let her know anything about me.
Almost everyone I talk to gets on at different times than I do, soit's like playing a game of telephone.
I space out randomly
I have my own world inside my head
I have voices within my head, all male and they tell me

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