Precious jewel• Show poetry

Hey!

Behind every smile is a hurting heart...
Behind every laugh I'm falling apart...
Look closely and you will see...
That this girl I am... isn't really me....

I'm that Amber girl.
The smart girl...
The good girl...
The church girl...
The artsy one...
The one everyone turns to when they have a problem...
The one that always has a smile on her face regardless of how she is really feeling....

Yeah, that's me..

I'm 18...
A Senior!!=]
Trying to live my life to the fullest...
And writing my own story...
But I'm writing in pen...
And making mistakes...
...We all do...

I'm just a typical teenage girl...
[Okay...maybe not]
...But...
I laugh.
I cry.
I scream.
I sigh.
I dream.
I love.
I smile.
Just like everyone else...

I can be very indecisive
And stubborn as hell...
But I'm very friendly
And outgoing
I love to be around people...

I'm a believer in God...
Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior.
And also my Best Friend!
I could really care less about what you think of me...

I can be very conservative...
Especially when it comes to abortion...
[Very] Anti-abortion...
It's murder...
Killing an innocent child cannot be justified.
It's wrong.
End of story.

I've been hurt...
Many times.
By the people that are closest to me...
My mom.
Craig.
And that's just the beginning.
I don't let people in easily.
It takes a lot to gain my trust.
I have a habit of pulling away when people try to get close to me...
I run away when things are starting to feel real.
All to prevent myself from getting hurt again.

Speaking of my lack of trust...
I also don't trust myself.
I fear that I'm going to end up hurting the ones I love..
Because of things I've done in the past...
[Bit hard to explain]

I'm [usually] a very forgiving person.
There are very few people in my life that I refuse to forgive...
And that's only because I know that if I do forgive them, and let them in again...
Then I will just get hurt again.
So there is no point.
Unless it's me...
I don't forgive myself very often....

I've loved someone with all my heart...
Only to have it given back in a million pieces...
So...
I'm very hesitant to let another guy in...
But I'm working on that:

I'm falling [hard]...
For a guy by the name of:
[insert drumroll here]
Michael James Ford...
He's a great guy...
One of the nicest guys I have ever met...
And I'm praying with all my heart that this works out...
And that he doesn't get hurt...
Cuz like I said...
I don't trust myself...

Friends=Lots
Molly and Taz=My bestest!
Then there are:
Michael [if he counts...]
Jon
Leia
Laramie
Brooke
Stephanie
Bre
Shane
Craig
And lots of others...
I have too many to count...

Now that I have rambled on for ages I think I will wrap this up...
Thanks for taking the time to read this... And I hope you enjoy my poetry...

*Amber*

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