Sometimes I sit and wonder, just why I care so much.
Why I long for you to be here, why I long for your touch.
I wanted to be with you forever, but forever ended too soon.
God called you somewhere else, now I’m left confused.
You said you’d be here with me, always in my heart.
Then why do you feel so far away, why is it so dark?
I can’t take much more of the pain, of hurting myself.
I need you right next to me, I need your help.
Sometimes I wonder, do you ever think of me?
When you look at my photos, just what do you see?
I feel like I’m empty, I no longer have you here.
I can’t help crying, I have so many fears.
I don’t want to give up, I don’t know how much more I can take.
Its hard to keep on living, myself I will always hate.
I gave my heart away, only to be let down.
I acted like a fool, now I look like a clown.
So many scars on me, wishing they would fade.
I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to say.
You have hard times I know, but do you crave to die?
Why is it so easy for you? Do you ever cry?
Author notes
Choice#3
Read poetry within's poem, and listening to the song, 'Come Home Soon' by SheDaisy, this is what I got out of it.
Somtimes it hurts to think about him. His emails so emotionless, with no heart. I dont think he cares one bit anymore, he's to the point 'Oh God will handle it, who cares, she'll get over it.' Yeah..I've moved on, but something inside of me, will carry him forever. No matter how angry or hurt I am, I will never get rid of the memories. 
Written December 9th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Raw Emotion in its best form. by ICaughtFire.
300 points, ended December 13, 2004, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Hi Mya,
You gave me the link to this a long time ago under my poem The Dirty Mirror and I meant to read it then got sidetracked and forgot. Sorry about that.
This is what I would call "one hell of a howl". Your sadness over this loss comes through in every line. It's a great poem. I hope the sadness fades and makes way for greater joy. They say every failed relationship just prepares us for the ultimate one - the one that washes clean all the others. I'm sure you'll find that someday soon. Your heart's too big to stay lonely for long.
Mark
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You done an excellent job on writing this piece. That is about all I can say but wow. I can really relate to this piece because I'm going through the same thing. You are truely an amazing poet, and person. Keep up the great work!!
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lala, your poem is so sad. I was greatly written, though! good luck with the contest
~Spiffy* -
your poetry is always so sad and depressing but always well written. I hope one day you can find a ray of sunlight to write about.
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hey LaLa,
i love this poem, its so sad but. you know im here for you always k? your such a great writer! love ya, and for you if ever you fall,
~leigh
x0x0x0x0x0x
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Amazing
Amazing poem! This is really sad and I can feel your pain Ypu exspressed yourself well... I love you girl!
Keep it coming from the heart..
Haleigh -
Aw...hugs
Yep, you and Sara are a lot alike. ^_~ Yes, it's very sad, and though I don't know exactly who you are talking about, I can feel your pain. It's very sad. ;-; But I still like it. You expressed yourself very clearly in this piece (and thank God, cuz my mind's about to blow from all this confusing imagery o-O), and I think it'd be better this way. Without confusing imagery. o-o loves her brain XD Good luck in the contest. ^-^
BT -
Awwww... LaLa this is so sad! Hun I hope you feel better. I understand what your going through. I know it hurts, but keep your head up. Take care!! Love ya LaLa!!
~Cherie -
lol
I was just going through all the poems in this contest, looking for the good ones, came on this one and thought by myself 'WWWOOOOWWW, THIS ONE ROCKS COMPLETELY, allthough it sounds familiar' and then I saw it was one of yours
hehehe
Leander -
this is so pretty! your so talented! im so glad that im blessed to be able to read your poems! keep it up and i'll keep reading!
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you really put a lot of thought into this...and all your other ones..or at least it seems like that. none of your poems seem rushed. they are all perfect in every way. they bring emotion and thats great. you have talent and im happy you post your stuff on here. its great
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I love you too Thank you for being there, you help a lot.
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amazing...I can relate to this is certain ways. I love the way you worded it all and especially asking if it other cries too that makes it all personal and real. I am sorry that you had to go through this. God bless!
J (versifyer) Hall -
Memories will stay with you forever. I know you miss him and still love him. I am that way with my ex boyfriend in Arkansas. Even though I am very happily married now, I still think about him every day and wonder how he is and if he still thinks of me. Love ya. Jody
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I have to aggree with Leander on this one. It is a well written peice and not only that You can't get rid of the memories. But sometimes memories are what help you move on which you have and Im sorry it hurts you so bad. If you two are truly meant to be He will come back. Though Im not sure if thats what you want. But I mean you do know that you have friends here that will help you through as god will to.
God bless
Mary
lylas -
I'm so sorry hun (as you already know) and that is something that is true, you know, memories will always be in your heart... no matter how hard he has hurt you, or how hard he tries now to 'forget' you and 'being emotionless'
This was again a very well written piece of art....
Keep it up sweety,
Love you!
Leander -
:'( :'(
Happy sad -
This is really good darlin. The images and the pain and stuff that was evoked through reading this piece made me sad. I'm sorry that it hurts you so much
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Sweety this was so sad.Was it about Rich?If you need to talk i'm here.Anywayz on the poem i cried hunny. It was so sad but it was worded wonderfully and i couldn't have asked for anything better.You put a lot into the piece and you flow and not to mention emotion was beautiful and i felt the emotion how ever many miles we are away from eachother and i know how it hurts hun so i'm here anytime you have the number and you have the sn.Wonderful sad write.
Hugs.
Mandi
Love you AP mommy -
AW LALA! This was soooo sad! I almost cried. I hurt when you do
. This poem was beautiful, as are all of your poems. Thank you for entering and thanks for waiting for me to return to your group. I've got some meds from the doctor now for my migranes, so I shouldn't be gone so much. It's so lame of him to leave you like that, hurting and loving at the same time. I know that you're getting over it slowly, but I can understand that it'll never leave. Most things like that..Never do leave. They're far too engraved in us. Become part of us. Something internal that can never die...I love you LaLa!
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Love you too sis, I wouldnt be able to do it without you!!
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Man! What a piece! I have scars all over my body as well, well maybe not all over, but my arms and thighs. Yeah, visible as a leeche! But for some reason they help me to remember why I was so angry at the time. I have a fading memory, and when it gets too tough I bleed it out and the scars help me remember I went through such a time.
As for the whole relationship thing, as I think this piece is about, that totally sucks. He just dumped you or something? What happend? "God will handle it, she'll get over it"???? What kind of shit is that! Man, I would totally scum this guy over if he treated me like that, but hold on! I am with a guy like that, but the only reason we get and stay together is him- for sex, and me- for drugs. It's a sad sad world we're living in.
I cannot believe I just wrote this all out for the whole world to see. I have a huge mouth! Man, I can never shut up, especially when I'm slightly high
Abby Eyeball
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Yes, I know how you feel, You will always love him and miss the realtionship you had with him, I'll always love Paul, even though my heart belongs to someone else a part of me will always love the best friend and brother and had and still have. And in a way, even though Paul and I have moved on and have our own loves the bond will always be there just like Rich will be with you, cherish the great times you had but don't dwell on what didn't happen. He gave you another chance at love and life and even though it does hurt, be grateful for that Love you ---Sara
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