In the back of my closet
behind dresses I haven't worn
since I was a child of ten,
there is a set of stairs
leading up to an attic...
Where I go when I need to be alone...
There is a large window
covered with old drapes
smelling of violet incense...
It has shown me
snow covered rooftops
shimmering in the moonlight
like sparkling diamonds...
and children playing in leaves
of bright reds and oranges
with an occasional lost leaf
falling in to keep me company...
The window has given me
fresh air wafting through it
on warm summer nights
when I lie on the hard wood floor
unable to sleep...
and I can always hear the crickets
chirping loudly outside it
watching the sunsets
on cool spring evenings...
And there is nothing like
the silence up in that attic
when everyone
in the house below
is soundly asleep in their beds...
And it is just me
staring up at the stars
feeling the night air
against my bare cheeks...
Author notes
This is fictional. I've always wanted to live in a house with an attic...that only I have access to the entrance to, with a big window that lets sunlight in during the day, and the cool air in at night...where i could sit and look at the stars and feel comforting loneliness...anyway, i hope you like this...
kayla*
Written December 6th, 2003
A contest entry
- *~Nine Choices~* by -Reality-.
258 points, ended December 9, 2003, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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I remember this one too. Great background BTW... I love your symbolism here.
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'Tis awesome lol
Amazing poem.
Excellent imagery, i love being alone too. Itsk inda like you can sense the vision out of that window you know? And that feeling..Cuz i have two attics in my house but um ya lolz. Anyways, greatly done. 
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very good, the imagery...i was so right with u....awsome
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In my head 'till I'm old
The imagery is very, very good. It's nice to be alone... And that's how I feel reading this, even when I'm surrounded by siblings :-D -
5/10
I liked the background..... See I can be possitive.
The poem was OK, not shabby but at the same time it failed to punch me in the relevent place if you know what I mean.
Willie. -
Good Poem!! I also got a vision from that to but I pictured myself this time in an attic looking out the window at the stars listeing to the sounds of crickets thinking to myself why me? why am I the unpretty one?whyamithe one that has the furthest away from normal life? why am i messed in the head? well i am not sure but sitting here looking outside the window looking at this bright white moon that is soo free and soo unconcerened about things makes me feel alot better about myself just getting in the moment on feeling good with life, the moon is like my heavenly angel or a.k.a my gramma
lol!!
Kayla I feel the same way as you and I don't know if you just wrote this poem just becuase or this is really and truly how you feel becuase if it is i feel the same way and i feel the pain and you've got me to talk to whenever about anything you wish it could be boy troubles to suicidle issues because i have been to both those and in between i know all about everything pretty much and am here to help becuase god put me here to help and thats why i want to be a councellor!! But anyways i better be going but good poem, and i love the emotion and description that you use it gives me a good vision in my head!!!!
Well i gotta go cya later!!
Latess babe!!
-Confused and Scared- -
;-)
I hate bugs. I know spiders are not bugs. I still think they're gross. I make my brother kill all of the spiders. I would like to seek revenge on all of those 40752475027502475027450925 spiders. I would say, "Hello? Mr. Exterminator..." I shiver. *shiver*
Oh yea; back to your poem...
I really like how descriptive you were. You gave me a feeling of your attic and what it means to me without making me feel like you're just a lousy writer who writes as many words as possible and calls it poetry. LOL!
Parakeet
O:-) -
sometimes it nice to be alone so you can hear your thoughts. just your thoughts, with no interferance.
nice crisp images
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Wow, I'm so glad you asked me to read this, I really loved it...everything. I love the background, I love the way it's to the right, I loved the images, the choice of words, it's really great Kayla...Good luck in the contest
~ Erin Ravenskye
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Kayla!
The depth of your imagery always impresses me. You took me right into the attic with you. I love the extra little touches that you add like the smell of violet incense just add more dpeth. You never go overboard, but you know just how much to add to make it real.
When I was little we moved into this old mansion as caretakers for a season. In the attic there was a pentogram and a bunch of candles drawn where teenagers had broken in while it was vacant and done witchcraft. Everyone of us felt strange things inside that house. After we stopped caretaking it, it was torn down. -
Ya, that would be pretty scary, but I don't mind spiders, so it wouldn't be that bad for me. I would like to live in a house with an attic...that would be neat...but I would prefer it to be spider-free thank you very much. But then again, I can't really imagine what it's like to live in a house with an attic, because I've never been in one before, so I don't exactly know what it would be like...
The poem was great. It was really....um....can't think of the right word to describe it...but how Bigmammajen described it, as dreamy, well that really fits.
I like the background!!! hehehe
Christine
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Ooo. This is a great write, I love the details and emotion! Great job, thanks.
~*~Kami~*~ -
holy crap, that'd be traumatizing
...i hate spiders...and if 40752475027502475027450925 of them came running out, i honestly think you'd have to put me in a mental institution, and 30 years of therapy to get through that...how are you still sane jen!!!!!!!!!!!! (lol, sorry, i should really be in bed right now...it's almost 5:00 AM...lol, i have to get up in 4 hours...i'm a complete dumbass ...) lol, anyway jen, thanks for your comment...i still wanna live in an attic house though
kayla*
Edited on Dec 06, 6:55 because ''. -
dreamy its really nice. I wanted to live in an attic house too, then we finally moved to one, I wanted to play in it..til I got up there and opened a box and 40752475027502475027450925 spiders came running out. (those lil black ones eeeeeeeeek ) and um I didnt want to play in the attic anymore
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