You’ve crushed my spirit
Near completely
Never encouraged or
Told me I did well
It’s been happening year
By year slowly
Yet when I try,
You have accusations to tell.
This and this only
I am not guilty
Of being wrong
Inside my head
I do not trust
Out of sickness
I dot not lust
For men-understand?
Put a gun to my cheek and
Offer me an ultimatum
I can smell on your
Breathe, the gin and rum
Your yellow teeth,
Tobacco stained gums
The efflux of the
Imprisonment and denial
That offers only rage
Harm and moods vile
Like that which hurts
When knowledge you gain
Of your parents constant doubt
Your image torn, their forgotten lies
It comes back in pain
And when it comes out
Denial withers and dies.
You buried
The memory
Of my traumatic
Remembrance
You have accusations to tell
But only to scorn me
Out of chance.
Impale my truth
Offence my defense
Betrayer of grime and my
Cry for help,
You are heedless
To this uninvited
Armoured skin.
But out of spite
Bitterness
You wasted my youth
Hope has
Holidayed with truth
In this house of battered
Cross burning freaks.
Realize my potential will you
Please, that’s all I ask
Without turning everything
Into an arduous, heated task
You have accusations to tell
Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me
You have accusations to tell
FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME
Because I won’t die unjustified
I will labour to live like Jesus died.
Claim I, not what Shakespeare did
He’s an old, mouldy
Cliché.
Culture is a product of the
Unpreserved human mind
And if you looked inside
You would find:
You offer only content
In exchange for vacancy
Feeding me spicy torment
Locking horns, consumed by vie
Sidelined you live to excruciate.
Out of spite,
Bitterness
You wasted my truth
And hope still
Holidays with youth,
As you ignore and ridicule
With audacity in contempt
And degrade me you old fool.
You must use remembrance
To attempt comprehension,
All I have is pride, honour
And offence to all defense
I throw a fragment chance
In these words for you to
Change the child abuse
That you cackle to deny.
You have accusations to tell
Whiles I have
My body, soul and mind to sell.
You’ve crushed my spirit
Near completely
Never encouraged or
Told me
That I do well
You have only
Accusations to tell,
Offer me an ultimatum
I can smell on your
Breathe, the gin and rum
The efflux of the
Imprisonment and denial
That offers only rage
Harm and moods vile
Which hurts.
Impale my truth
Offence my defense
Betrayer of grime and my
Cry for help,
You are heedless
To this uninvited
Armoured skin.
You wasted my youth
Hope has
Holidayed with truth
From this house of battered
Cross burning freaks.
FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME
Because I won’t die unjustified
I will labour to live like Jesus died
Remembrance
Culture is a product of the
Unpreserved human mind
And if you looked inside
You would find:
You offer only content
In exchange for vacancy
Feeding me spicy torment
Locking horns, consumed by vie
Sidelined you live to excruciate
As you ignore and ridicule
With audacity in contempt
And degrade me you old fool.
You must use remembrance
To attempt comprehension,
All I have is pride, honour
And offence to all defense
You have accusations to tell
Whiles I have
My body, soul and mind to sell
Like that which hurts
When knowledge you gain
Of your parents constant doubt
Your image torn, their forgotten lies
It comes back in pain
And when it comes out
Denial withers and dies.
Author notes
This is about my mother, all my life she has abused me in ways a child should not be-she denies it one minute then says its not abuse the next. I hope you like the poem
Written November 13th, 2006
A contest entry
- † No one tells you about us. † by Victorian Shadow.
300 points, ended November 14, 2006, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
I've noticed by reading this,
and your others,
that it expresses a great deal of heartache,
that you have with your family.
I'm looking more toward "your" emotions,
and not of how they feel themselves.
They are all very well written though.
Thank you for entering!
.†. Miss. Jade -
So much to say. Not much to feel. Still, this is a very powerful and emotional poem. It provokes thought and empathy. While it makes me think that I am so glad that I never saw the visions that you have put forth in this poem. It is such a sad thing that to have experienced such trauma only rips away the luster that life can have. I really like the feel that this poem has and the flow that ties it all together.
-
At first I thought it was the cliche break-up, but it proved to be wrong. I like the incomplete sentences throughout the stanzas, it creates this muted, distance effect that truly shows the lack of emotion and love. This line:
Offence my defense
Betrayer of grime
is absolutely amazing, the strengthened personification and paradoxes show the oxymoron of love. And unlike most poems, the swearing makes the piece better: out of the muted silence, your emotions just pour and make it alive!
I hate to critique, but the repetition can get the reader a bit confused/lost (because there are so many lines, so we may eventually forget the previous lines!)
Thanks for commenting on my poem. I started writing since 2004 so the rookie works are the once dated 2004 in AP, I have published, but never got the $$ because of age. How about you?
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