Rant

I find that I can not write about my darkest thoughts,
those feelings that I keep locked away, discussed
with only a few.  

I can not vomit love all over a page and
have is sound sincere.  

It also seems that I can not
talk about my relationship with my parents, siblings or
grandparents.

I had a fairly happy childhood in the 60's and 70's,
this is not to say things didn't happen,
but it's in the past where it belongs,  
not carried with me for my life.

When I do write on it, it's rarely read.

When I choose to write of fantasy or dark fantasy,  
I am told that I have not researched a fantasy or
dark fantasy well enough

(what research is really necessary when it is MY fantasy),

something that really hurts a History major where they live.  

A stupid statement that really has no context
because all fantasies have light and dark.

I have also been told about the religious
truths contained within my poem.  Please people,  
I am not a prophet or a writer of religious
truths in someone Else's faith.  

I suppose I could,
since I have been a member of most Christian
sects at some point in my life.  

Why in the name of what anyone holds dear,
would I start a religious discussion,
under the name of fantasy?

I write what I see as truth for me within the religion I belong.

When writing on another faith,
I do my research,
not to so is disrespectful of the person who belives in
that faith.

I research my poems based on a historical event,
not to do so disrespects those who lived through
it and offends my historical soul.

Let's not forget those poems of angst.
Those poems filled with tortured emotion,
sometimes raw or elegant.
 
After a few concerned well wishes,
(which I thanked them for and explained)
I began to place in my Author's notes,
that the poem was not about me or anyone I knew.  

I still got messages of well wishing and concerned,

(nice but misplaced)
it was obvious that no one had bothered to
read the  Author's notes or
even read my Author's Page.

Just as an actor draws upon past memories,
emotions or impressions from life for a part,
I too, draw on things
that made an impression ON me.  

Does not mean that it happen TO me.  
When I read a poem by a poet,
I usually read their Author's Page
to see where the poem is coming from,
if anywhere at all.

It's poetry,
not life,
which it may or may not reflect.

For those people who write with their emotions still raw
from life's harsh mistress,
I do not negate what you write,
just that all write with bleeding veins that pour forth
angst and pain,
this is currently all over the place.  

Poetry is another form of story telling,
be it love, anger,
fantasy or self hate.
Thank you for listening.