Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

I Will Move Away



Stifling, suffocating silence
follows me - my shadow
jealous of company.

Pooling around my feet,
my world questions me
through tears,
implores me
to rest my mind.

So scared -
afraid to embrace life
it continues to fade.

I plead.

But I know.
It won't stop, till I leave.

So I will
move away from here.



Author notes

I used these :

I will move away from here,
you won't be afraid of fear.

- You know you're right ~ Nirvana
Written March 4th, 2006

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem, please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

  • Broken-Bones
    March 19, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this write. I loved the use of structure and how you varied the size of the stanza sometimes putting very powerful ideas like "I plead" on there own line in their own stanza. It all seemed very natural and yet well crafted. I also admire the ideas you used one stanza I could particularly relate to was
    "So scared -
    afraid to embrace life
    it continues to fade."
    I liked the idea of life fading because we are to afraid to embrace it. A really great write x

  • FirstScript
    March 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    hehehe ... I love silence too ... it's just that someimes the silence is a killing machine
    Edited on Mar 06 because ''.
  • ian sawicki
    March 5, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    aye silence can be very suffocating at times, i actually like silence though, especially when i am reading, otherwise i have god save the queen by the sex pistols blaring out on 800 watt surround sound lol