I shiver, under my sheets,
It's not the cold I know.
My fingers are trembling,
I search, where do i go?
I turn my back, I try,
Insomnia was never a friend;
Even as I search for dreams,
The nightmares, just won't end.
My voice quivers, I call -
Come out, why do you hide?
But I can not pretend, I lose;
I'm not brave, sorry, I lied.
Nobody comes, there is no one,
Nothing to be scared of now;
I lie back to sleep, silence,
But rest my mind won't allow.
I close my eyes; i scream,
What closed around my throat?
There's no one near my bed -
I wonder what fate wrote.
I shiver, no, not the cold;
Questions which forever haunt.
My own self, my tears, my loss,
I am my ghost, and me I taunt...
Author notes
Written February 15th, 2006
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1 - 14 of 14
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really good
thought i'd check this out,liked the title.it certainly didn't disappoint!really well written,great read.i shall read more when i have time..regards..
floorboards -
Thank you Brittle... Your review is most appreciated
and I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the applause
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i shiver, under my sheets,
it's not the cold i know.
my fingers are trembling,
i search, where do i go?
Why the small font? Though there is nothing wrong with it being used, I think it would be nicer to the poem having capitals included. Shivers, yes, we can shiver from more than the cold. A nice opening stanza.
i turn my back, i try,
insomnia was never a friend;
even as i search for dreams,
the nightmares, just won't end.
Insomnia, so many feel that, as we get older, we sleep less and want more. I think I see where you are leading here in respect to the title and insomnia.
my voice quivers, i call -
come out, why do you hide?
but i can not pretend, i lose;
i'm not brave, sorry, i lied.
Bravery, we think we are brave yes, but when it comes down to it, fear comes sliding in, making us doubt.
nobody comes, there is no one,
nothing to be scared of now;
i lie back to sleep, silence,
but rest my mind won't allow.
Well the heart would still be fluttering to a degree and the mind still on the fear.
i close my eyes; i scream,
what closed around my throat?
there's no one near my bed -
then i see that fateful note.
Nice, the fear still gripping, the atmosphere in the room, heavy and taut.
i shiver, no, not the cold;
questions which forever haunt.
my own self, my tears, my loss,
i am my ghost, and me i taunt...
I like the reference to the beginning here, adds to the piece nicely. In this life, we have to capture our spirit, tame it for us to look into deep and long. And though we do at times, it flies away and the game is afoot once more, to find ourself. A good poem. -
This is great. Sometimes there are just not words for poems like these!
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I'm so sorry to hear that... take care
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This has a nice flow to it and a good rhyming scheme. It is nicely written as well. Good luck in this contest and I am sorry for taking so long to judge it, there was a death in my family.
Suzanne -
wow!!! this is awesome. i mean it. it is so well written and so true of even myself that it is eerie. viyanna r langager
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Thank you for your appreciation... It's one of my favourites too
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very well portrayed... a mind not understanding itself, afraid of itself. I love it.
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Thank you for your kind words... I appreciate it.
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HEY THIS IS REALLY GOOD I LOVE THIS ONE
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That was GREAT and really good i haunt my own self all so the mind does play tricks i agree with Burnt Origami
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we haunt ourselves aye, taunt ourselves, our minds can play madness against us if it wishes. a good piece. thanks for visiting my poetry
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I have not mentioned the quote which I have used... I think it's pretty evident from the poem, but if you want me to, I shall add it in my author's comment... Do let me know what you think of my poem.
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