Cradle
Fiberglass for birch tree bark,
a coat of paint for resin pitch,
and plastic trim for cedar wood
compose the modern wander-boat.
Nonetheless there’s craftsmanship
in building plugs and curing molds,
sculpting sand to form a shell
that tumbles life down waterways.
A ghost of the old ways filled with gear
caressed by ancient subtle hands,
appraised and held in fair esteem,
the new unnatural ways aside.
Like driftwood on the open surf,
the fiber-foam cocoon is cast
and swept along on buoyant waves,
tossed by every twist of wind.
Meridian
Fueled by swollen alpine lakes,
mirrors to the craggy peaks,
countless glaciers, ponds and streams,
sprung from clouds and hidden springs,
an everlasting thunder rolls
that carves an everlasting path,
a stormy rush of living things
that slakes the stormy rush of life.
Firs collapse and boulders plunge
into the undulating surge,
swept across the winding earth
to strike with titan force the sea,
and clutched against the serpents back
a fleck of lost humanity,
immersed in sprawling majesty,
grips the currents deep and black.
Spirit
Black bears peer from root-filled banks;
ravens watch from stands of spruce;
eagles gaze from sudden bluffs;
a bull moose stares from out the wash.
All the dreamtime creatures wake,
bodied forth like smoky signs—
deep claw prints in frosted mud,
fang marks on the aspen’s trunk.
Each regards the floating soul
that wanders broken in their midst,
a well of rage and twisted grief
that echoes through the howling wind.
And each respects his long release
until the blood cakes on his lips
with massive silence like a mist
that rises up to steady him.
Author notes
to learn more about the trisect: allpoetry.com/Column/1780251/all=1
Written December 6th, 2005
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 51 of 51
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Oddly enough, I began reading this, and automatically expected it to rhyme. perhaps it's how "pretty" it looked on the page, or the fact it was four-line stanzas, but I was pleasantly surprised to read the free verse. Not to say rhyme doesn't have it's place, but that this poem seems to really blossom under the power of free verse. Your skills with imagery are indisputable. It was very intriguing.
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i'm curious how you experienced the poem interpretively. what did you see? what sort of connections did you find yourself making as you read? what did it seem to be or feel like it was about to you?
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C: appreciate your thoughts. can't think of any response. you've read the trisect article, so you know that the goal is to give the reader material to interpret without giving away the underlying information, or the material that inspired the write in the first place. my goal in exploring poetry from this angle is to learn and naturalize the art of non-expository depiction, which i feel is essential to the writing of epic poetry, which i'll be exploring at a much later date.
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Lets see. I guess I'm not really sure the point of it. Some of it seemed rather random to me. The bold words before each section added to that. It didn't invoke any emotion in me...I didn't like that randomly you would rhyme for a few lines..it seemed out of place. Though I did like your word choices the poem seemed a little flat to me for some reason.
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This is an awesome poem. I love the depth and detail of the description. The imagery is vivid, the form and flow are smooth and engaging. I really like your trisect format. I'll have to keep it in mind and give it a try sometime. Thanks, take care.
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good
I really do like that -
what a fantastic poem.. keep up the good work
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wow i really liked that it was really good i loved how u had broke it up into parts i look forward 2 reading more of your poems am a new member 2 this but i wrote a little 2 day but i dont know if its good but i loved yours
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Awsome. I'll applaud you my friend. Thanks for sharing and take care. xoxo. ~victoria~
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Love it.
I am in a rush right now, so I can't really do this poem justice with my critique. I absolutely loved the imagery and I know that I'll be coming back to read it again and that I'll be reading the rest of your poetry. I love it. -
Beautiful and I can see a little bit more of you in this one since I read your story. This one was just as powerful and moving as the story. Except it made my mind float. I don't know any other way to put it. LOL!
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wonderful. just, delightful.
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I may be going "way out there," but I'm going to anyway. First, all three poems, words spilled off my tongue like rain, but in different strains. The rythm and clarity held my gaze steady, unblinking, and the images were not lost on this mind. This was an intense experience, in three stages. The first began as a drizzle of rain, and left me with the understanding that you absolutely love nature and all that is natural, you are one with it. The next poem, strickly in nature, started the downpour--still that connectedness--almost as though you were subconciously exploring your latest form of writing, the "Trisect." And, the third, went deeper into nature and into the beyond, the super-"natural," where the monsoon struck. Wrap up was excellent. Well done!--Kel
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Awesome Read
This is a very colorfully worded piece of poetic art, You pull me into that boat, and I was washed ashore, just looking at all those wild animals. Wow, this is a classic poem. Ennovy -
Wow is all I can say.This is beautifully written
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What can I say Erin to one so knowledgable, nothing, absolutely nothing just keep writing and I will keep reading. All the best for 2006 to you and the family.
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you know. i designed the trisect specifically for YOU because it's a natural development tool for your particular way of approaching poetry. you're actually the only one who has the information on how to write one asside from me and my wife. still have it? i plan to type up an article on the trisect in a few months since i'm hoping to establish it as a poetic form in time.
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Exceptional
okay, excuse my mild language, but holy crap Erin. This is amazing... by FAR my favorite thing you've written, and you know I've read a lot. I seriously can't point out a section I love best... I feel most connected with "Cradle", then "Meridian", and finally "Spirit". The stanza that stood out to me was::
"an everlasting thunder rolls
that carves an everlasting path,
a stormy rush of living things
that slakes the stormy rush of life."
The repetitive word selection was just intense and really emphasized the simlilarities between all concepts.
I also love::
"and clutched against the serpents back
a fleck of lost humanity,
immersed in sprawling majesty,
grips the currents deep and black."
That is, and I know you know how good this is to hear from me, cryptic. I love how that can be distinguished into so many different subcategories, all originating from the depths of human perception- emotionally and literally.
Erin, EXCELLENT. I have nothing, NOTHING I would change. I am honestly blown away, truly. -
hey good work keep it up thanx for sharing this with all of us at allpoetry i am sure that if others read this thay will like it to just as much as i did. you are a good wrighter keep it up.
-*nikki*- -
there may be description, but it isn't just what's described. there are layers of images wanting to be seen
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Wonderful, I'm not going to waste your time today waxing poetic on your skills, you know you got 'em!
I will say this, I absolutely love the way you weave together various perspectives. I've noticed this in many of your poems. In your work there is a clear sense that the world around us is embued with spirit and personality and sometimes, even purpose. From tree's to bears to thunder itself, you pen a magical, diverse and at once attainable view of the world we live in.
It is refreshing and inspiring to read.
Thank-you for sharing the way you see the world, it is a truly unique perspective, teaching much. -
Erin, each part of this epic saga, is splendid in its own right. I am always a better person for having taken the time to read your work, I may not always comment and there is rarely anything to critique, but, I do so appreciate your talent that you share with those of us "aspiring wannabes"....freda
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Yes, it is everything mentioned above. However, I have reservations about "sudden bluff". Somehow, "sudden" doesn't seem to be the appropriate word there. In any case, everything I might possibly say has already been said by somebody so I'll leave it at that.
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Still interesting.
This is still as interesting as it was the first time that I read it. -
Great epic, not only in your talent, but your view of human force and nature. I'm sure the meaning is lost to me, but I felt a change of fate in your words. The haunting aftermath of man's discoveries and wonderous exploitations in the decisions we lead leaves me shaking the leaves of dismembered thoughts like they were my first, or my last. Hmmm...That's what happens when I try to indulge thick thoughts on an paper plate.
You're words, always an inspiration-
-luke -
Raccoon Worthy
Whoa... this is possibly the best, most discriptive poem I've seen on this site so far. The words you use are so appealing to the senses... I really like poems about nature and this a really good one. It seriously blew me away! =^_^= -
Excellent!
pretty cool and wildly differnt. I found it a little tough to follow along with, so I read it three times. It always is nice to find something like this and be forced to re-read it to have it sink in. I found your poem to be nicely done and with a flair of uniqueness not usually found in the poems I am used to. I give you an A+ for this one and will be reading more of your work as it intrgues me. -
I found all three of these well crafted poems to be inviting, entising and pure poetry. The visions, the creative scenes encompassed in each are beautiful. I can't decide which I like best so I guess I'm stuck with all three of them
How anyone could NOT see this as poetic expression at it's best, is beyond me. Each stanza, each seperate poem, is a work of art, leaving a deep impression on this readers mind, a joy in my soul.
I don't get to your poetry near often enough, Erin, but when I do I always find it to be perfectly awesome.
Dee
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A dream is watchin me i guess, if not then somthin should be. And this is one the most reonable poems that ive in the past week or so, i think...what do i right know it 1pm and ive yet to get any real sleep so 4give this smalltalk, im tired and thoughts just keep goin through my head. Great poem nonetheless though.
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Erin, I cannot believe some of these comments, but I was immediately at one with the poets voice. The craftsman ship of the boat builder reminded me of the many times I have watched my frind work in his fiberglass boat repair shop. The experiences I have enjoyed on area lakes, in my boat, early morning scenes. Wow-you have lived my dream. A week with a canoe, rod and reel in the high lakes of the North. Your have been there and I could feel and smell each scene you described. This may be one that will be most appreciated by kindred spirits. You just made my favorite list.
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Wow, powerful poem. I like all the descriptive wrods. Keep it up!
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Erin,,way to go, I love the first part of this poem the best, kinda reminds me of good old fashioned hard work and gratification thereof! I enjoyed your work very much and adore the responses to the comments. I can't claim to ever really get all of what a writer is saying, I am not in their head, I can take some of it and get it right, but to me, that is the fun in it!
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this is like... really good.
A ghost of the old ways filled with gear
caressed by ancient subtle hands,
appraised and held in fair esteem,
the new unnatural ways aside.
damn, i liked that a LOT
x o x o x o x o
[ e z z a n y x ] -
beautiful piece
amazing write .beautiful imagery. you have penned a wonderful expression of words here.impressive piece of work . -
Hi Erin, where do you get all these ideas from? To me Cradle represents the birth of the journey through life,to conclude with Spirit, seen through the eyes of nature. I'm probably way off course but that's as I see it. Well done my friend, you have my applause.
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kaytie: so it's not poetry just because it's confusing and makes no sense to you? could it be that there's more to the realm of poetry and poetics than you might have originally thought? i invite you look through the comments above, specifically the first one (you'll need to hit the "View All" link to see it).
Edited on Dec 12, 9:04 p.m. because ''. -
ES: what does it make you envision, if anything?
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Hoosierpoet: glad you liked. within that stanzza i was going for a double parallelism between "everlasting thunder"/"everlasting path" and "a stormy rush of living things"/"stormy rush of life". life itself seems to carve an everlasting mark or path on existence, or at least our world. and and both occurences of "stormy rush" are tied in with the "everlasting thunder" and "path".
i quite appreciate your thoughts here. thanks for swinging by.
Edited on Dec 11, 6:11 p.m. because ''. -
I found the Americanised spelling very off-putting as I don't really expect hese spelling changs in a sort of pastoral/nature poem. I was totally confused by the line
"a bull moose stares from out the wash"
What does it mean?
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The best poem I have read in quite a while. You have crafted this like a master. Beautifully done. I could find only one small critique that might improve it, and that is to eliminate the repitition of the word "everlasting" in the 1st and 2nd lines, 2nd verse of Meridian. Other than that - Perfect. But this is wonderful with or without any changes.
Best wishes,
Hoosier writer & poet,
Moses L. Hochstetler -
i like this peace but one thing needs to be chsnged on the part
Like driftwood on the open surf it should be Like driftwood on open surf it judt kinda makes it flow better you have talent and if you dont mind i will be adding you to my fav. thank you for promoting this peace.
aero/tim -
this is is a cool piece of writing....i like this poem. It flows smoothly.
.Nice poem.the imagery here is beautiful with nice tone.very interesting to read and thanks for the read.. I really enjoyed this. -
Nice poem.the imagery here is beautiful and flows well.very interesting to read and thanks for the read.. I really enjoyed this. Great piece
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I liked it! A lot like Jack London if my memory serves me.
I like how you give it to the reader and make him/her privvy to your explorations, in this case nature.
Utterly wondrous poem. Captivated my curiosity, could have gone on reading indefinitely.
Regards...........................John -
Wow, now here's a piece to knock a reader's socks off. I loved it. And some things definetly need three parts to tell it right. A true trinity of the written word. Keep up the excellent work.
~Blessings
StormyEyes -
Excellent.
The imagery here is fantastic, strong and forceful yet containing a humble core - very interesting to read and certainly well planned. I really enjoyed this. Great piece. -
crystaldust 10-12-05 22:18
As always, I relish the challenge of your dual nuances. Don't always quite get there, but the words and form make me feel I understand more than I do. "Spirit", for me, is perfect and so vivid. Thank you for this trilogy. Joy -
You did well.
These are definetly interesting to read and I liked the one called Spirit best. I understand the others but the Indian in my finds a great deal to enjoy about the last piece while the others were good to read too. -
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Excellent
Three very beautifully crafted poems.
"Cradle" I get an almost poignant view of change.
"Meridian",for me, speaks more powerfully of men's almost maniac, frightened pursuit into life, and getting lost in the sea of humanity. Losing sight of higher purpose.
"Spirit", creatures at peace with themselves; being true to their nature, watch as a spirit struggles within it's self-made bonds of intelligence and humanly strife, and how peace is found in the balance of the two worlds. Spiritual confusion is what I get out of this.
Very well written, and it really made me think, and ponder the roles we play. Thank you for such an inspired write.
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