I leap to the drumbeats; keep drumming keep drumming
Keep strumming on heart strings; come prancing of feet bright
Come dancing on wings steep; take flight ere my heart breaks
With shadows encroaching; and sunset approaching
All day is for dancing; all night is for sleeping
But sleep’s call I resist; persist in dance keeping
The sun’s smile so sickly; its fight soon defeated
The light shadows defile; devour day in delight
But despite the outcome; drumbeats doubt despising
While wild my heat beating; in pain light reviled
The noon sun once so bright; the skies long departed
Shadows silently blossom; their reign quickly comes
Drums violently greeting; and singing I’ve started
The song oft repeated; so softly repeating
On soft gossamer wings; on soft gossamer wings
The beating a Wild-thing; my fever it’s feeding
Ere meager light leaving; I’m left eager to dance
Soon bereft of the sun; dare I dance with the moon?
In Bacchus breeding; shadows silently screaming
When thunder crash frightening; and flashes of lightning
Dissolving asunder; yet earth’s still revolving
The light will soon fail me; and night’s mirth will prevail
No chance at sun winning; the crimson moon grinning
To the raucous drumbeats; keep dancing keep dancing
Sunset held the portent; not sunk but fast sinking
I resent that I’d drunk; far too deep from the dance
And the sky painted red; as tainted by bleeding
The sun setting nigh done; there was no forgetting
The shadows foreboding; the daylight eroding
At first faintly singing; then I strike at the night
Head ringing I’m thinking; the shadows are drinking
All the blood from the sky; all the blood from the sky
And then they’re done feeding; bleeding sun is bled dry
With night’s deeper shading; the sleeper awakens
A pagan force coursing; fading light the first course
Such form shared from burst light; wanted meat wet and warm
The sun setting complete; replete with blood letting
I’m dancing undaunted; feel the drumbeat at least
The beast feeds on cursed bones; I’m spared sight of the worst
Will my feet not to slow; face my foe blind and alone
I chase gloom from my mind; meet my doom brave and fierce
Shadows piercing my side; my own deeds to atone
Now my voice fills with pride; I’ve learned much from the dance
Yet one choice ‘for rest earned; to dance hale and alive
How blessed to die dancing; I prevail sanctified
I leap to the drumbeat; keep drumming keep drumming
Strumming on heart strings; come prancing of feet bright
Come dancing on wings steep; take flight ere my heart breaks
Author notes
The inspiration for this was the drum beats outside my window deep into the night, a little Dylan Thomas, and a little delusional thinking and all of a sudden I thought that I would die if the music stopped. As long as people continued to dance the music would keep going. However, night comes for us all and in the end it is better to face death with dignity than fear it. I guess I should explain that I am living on an Island in the Carribean. Paganism seems to go with the raw power and sensuality of the drumbeats.
Written January 25th, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- Pagan people by Ivy Claw.
300 points, ended July 6, 2005, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I love the broken lines; the semicolons seam sad.
I love the rythm and the soft beat; a heart is hiding in your verse. -
Rather than win a contest I would be interested to know what stanzas do nothing to move the story forward, If I need to not just delete unnecessary stanzas but do I need to add stanzas that will complete the meaning of the poem? The pattern crosses over from stanzas so changing one stanza will often precipitate changing two. I have rewritten this poem at least a 100 times and each time the form was different so I am not to worried about throwing out a favorite passage. The way I look at it one verse may be well written as a verse but not add anything to the overall poem and should be placed back into my work in progress folder.
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Wow.. I had alot to read there. Very long poem (and I though some of mine were rdiculously long). YOur vocabulary kept me tied to the poem. The redundacy, yes some was intentional i can tell, but some could be edited. There could be a little work on the versing, however it was a good peice together.
Keep it up!!
Hugz!!
.........Courtney -
Now this is a poem worth reading. It is a bit long and it feels as though there is a bit of repetition or redundancy, but not so much that I felt like stopping.
I think that in most places this has a good rhythm, but it does fall off here and there.
This is worth taking another look at someday. Maybe a little delusion is a good thing, I am far to mush a literal person and it keeps my poetry in a rather plain voice.
I look forward to reading something else of yours someday.
Have you ever considered writing more about where you are right now? Your experiences there?
Susan -
I love the rhythm of this poem. I can hear the drum beating through the words. Good job, there. You've also done an excellent job with alliteration. The only problems I see with this piece is its length (I'm worried you won't keep everyone's attention through the whole piece) and the inconsistent rhyme. It seems like you have rhyme in some of the stanzas and not in others. Was that your intent? I don't know if you're trying to follow a specific form here, so it could be the rhyme pattern is right on. I'm sorry that I'm not more familiar with the different forms.
I don't know what you could add to this poem, so I would say go ahead and promote it. I'm sure you would have lots of positive comments!
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