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In memoriam

with fear i looked
into the mirror
too thin the myth
but I was hooked
my eyes i shut
to still my cries

     i cry in vain
     the pain stabs deep
     ive lost so much
     deaths touch i crave
     so high the cost
     insane i weep
     thus grabs the grave

           my hope is gone
           and on i grope
           no sweet release
           i long for death
           my breath i lose
           heart cease to beat
           i choose to grieve
           wrong leave to start

                 i rant and rave
                 but cope i cant
                 nor save to keep
                 i damn my soul 
                 the whole a sham
                 bereft of all
                 with no fear left
                 into the mirror
                 too thin the myth
                 i fall asleep

Author notes

Inspired by a friend with whom I traveled.  She decided to exit life early.  Who says anorexia and bulemia aren't deadly.  I wish I had joined her; yet she believed in a kind caring god and I believe in nothing.
Written August 25th, 2002

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Comments


  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    June 25, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    perhaps my frame of mind is too close to this.. in places, yet I could not help but face that mirror..
    there are notes that only loss plays.. which mimics will never touch..

    the beat in this is strong and so is the subtle rhyme strewn throughout it, it took a couple of quick reads through the first few lines, but I was able to catch where the 'hidden/half' rhymes were falling.. it adds a quick step to this .. a 'feel' of the drop, plus it adds a slight lyrical sound as it is read.. slightly ironic given the subject matter, but then I have written of death with full alliteration .. since my lure from it has always been a 'dance'..

    I did enjoy this.. if I think of anything else I can say which might be of use I shall comment more.. as of this moment however I wouldn't suggest changing a thing..


    Lisa/whims
    Edited on Jun 25, 3:39 because ''.

  • xomadelineox
    June 2, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    this was beautiful. i love this one, it really says it with out saying it.. you know? thank you for entering and good luck. An thank you for such a wonderful comment! it was amazing how well you understood my poem.

    <3