Should I explain emptiness ?
First gaze intensely, in the hollow above,
Do a search and discover, not you but just me,
lift your hand up in the air , up to the sky;
For here is it, you have succeed to discern,
Emptiness and her meaning:
Where I am but you not.
Author notes
Written April 22nd, 2005
In a list
A contest entry
- I'm weird, make me cry. by Chindi Yaz.
300 points, ended November 29, 2005, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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short and sweet. very sad, and you carefully and correctly got the reader to envision emptiness. Much love.
~Rianna~ -
Wow, this is so good! I love how the words flow and are so full of emotion. Very impressive!!
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Cool,Emptiness I like this to me it creates and illusion sort of real and whats not real mixed together.I like the last line a lot.<3
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glorious
This is wonderful... As someone commented on one of your other poems, you do have a larger english vocabulary than a lot of the native English speakers on this site. And I think the fact that you're native language is Portuguese gives your English work a rather unique style... Your word order and word choice is interesting and makes your poems flow in a way that's pretty hard to achieve for most people.
Your imagery and rythm on this pience is wonderful, and you get the essence of emptiness across very well... A sad poem, and very well-done. -
Well, i also can not avoid the rhymes easily, but it just happened. Things happens, Hat
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very nice, i perfer rymeing poems but this i sgood for free verse
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It's the shadow. I am always gazing the shadows
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Sad indeed! To experience such emptiness isn't the best thing that can happen with anyone, and here you are not only facing emptiness, but you are alone as well.
You do have a way to write sad poems
Beijos,
Mari
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I found this strangely touching somehow.. Beautiful.. Welcome to AllPoetry by the way, I hope you have enjoyed it and and Thank You for reading my Fairy story. Seldom does that one get read and I need to finish it off.. Take Care and best wishes to you, Catressa
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