PianoMan• Show poetry

I LOVE STAR WARS! May the force be with you.
I REALLY LIKE STAR TREK TOO!! Live long and prosper. \\// (vulcan salute)

(\ /)
(O.o) This is Mr.Bunny Please Paste him on your page in order to help
(>"<) Him with his mission to DOMINATE the world!!!
/_|_\


*A girl and guy were speeding, on a motorcycle, over 90 mph on the road..
Girl: Slow down. I’m scared.
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it’s not. Please, it’s too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.
*Girl hugs him*
Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? It’s bugging me.
(In the paper the next day)
A motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his breaks broke, but he didn’t want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.
If you would ever do this for someone....then post this on your page asap!!


One Nation, "Under GOD"

One day, a 6 year old girl was sitting in a classroom. The Teacher was explaining evolution to the children. The Teacher asked a little boy:

TEACHER: Tommy do you see the tree outside?

TOMMY: Yes.

TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?

TOMMY: Yes.

TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.

TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a few minutes later) Yes, I saw the sky.

TEACHER: Did you see GOD?

TOMMY: No.

TEACHER: That's my point. We can't see GOD because HE isn't there. He just doesn't exist. The little girl spoke up wanting to ask the boy some questions. The Teacher agreed.

LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?

TOMMY: Yes.

LITTLE GIRL: Tommy do you see the grass outside?

TOMMY: Yessssss!

LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?

TOMMY: Yessssss!

LITTLE GIRL; Tommy, do you see the Teacher?

TOMMY: Yes

LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?

II CORINTHIANS 5:7 "FOR WE WALK BY FAITH, NOT BY SIGHT"


Piano Man By Billy Joel

Its nine oclock on a saturday
The regular crowd shuffles in
Theres an old man sitting next to me
Makin love to his tonic and gin

He says, son, can you play me a memory?
Im not really sure how it goes
But its sad and its sweet and I knew it complete
When I wore a younger mans clothes

La la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da

Chorus:
Sing us a song, youre the piano man
Sing us a song tonight
Well, were all in the mood for a melody
And youve got us feelin alright

Now john at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And hes quick with a joke or to light up your smoke
But theres someplace that hed rather be
He says, bill, I believe this is killing me.
As the smile ran away from his face
Well Im sure that I could be a movie star
If I could get out of this place

Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da

Now paul is a real estate novelist
Who never had time for a wife
And hes talkin with davy whos still in the navy
And probably will be for life

And the waitress is practicing politics
As the businessmen slowly get stoned
Yes, theyre sharing a drink they call loneliness
But its better than drinkin alone

Chorus

Its a pretty good crowd for a saturday
And the manager gives me a smile
cause he knows that its me theyve been comin to see
To forget about life for a while
And the piano, it sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
And they sit at the bar and put bread in my jar
And say, man, what are you doin here?

Oh, la la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da

Chorus


I LOVE MUSIC! I think music is one of the best things in life. One of my favorite kinds of music is country. Some of my favorite artists/groups are:
Taylor Swift
Randy Travis
John Denver
Alabama
Garth Brooks
Toby Kieth
Kenny Chesney
Johnny Cash
Charlie Daniels
Tim Mcgraw
Faith Hill
Alan Jackson
And almost every other country artist ever! Maybe someday I'll actually put them all in. lol.

My favorite movies are(in no particular order):
The Phantom Menace
The Attack of the Clones
The Revenge of the Sith
A New Hope
The Empire Strikes Back
The Return of the Jedi
The Fellowship of the Ring
The Two Towers
The Return of the King
The Phantom of the Opera
National Treasure
National Treasure 2
Pirates of the Caribbean
Pirates of the Caribbean 2
Pirates of the Caribbean 3

My favorite authors are(also in no particular order):
George Lucas
J.R.R. Tolkien
Christopher Paolini
J.K. Rowling
And many others that I can't think of right now.


New York Crazy Laws


The penalty for jumping off a building is death.


Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M.


A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.


A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.


While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.


A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.


It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.


A man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.


During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.


Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers".


It is illegal to eat in the street in residential neighborhoods, and the only beverage you can drink on the beach is water in a clear plastic bottle.


You may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand.



~Dumb Quotes~


Pedro Guerrero~~
Sometimes they write what I say and not what I mean.


Doug Collins~~
Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points they almost always win.


Dan Bonner~~
The Minnutemen are not tall in terms of height.
~~during a UMass basketball game.


Yogi Berra~~
Well, I used to look like this when I was young and now I still do.

Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t come to yours.

The other teams could make trouble for us if they win.

It was pretty good. Even the music was nice
~~said after attending an opera.

Congratulations on breaking my record. I always thought the record would stand until it was broken.


Dick Cavett~~
If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.


Mark Fowler~~
If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed, and it will monitor their heart through the night, and the next morning, if they wake up dead, there’ll be a record.


Colonel Gerald Wellman~~
We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.


David Acfield~~
Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.



I really like Weird Al songs!!! Here are some of my favorites(too many to put them all on here so I'll just pick a few).


"eBay"

Yeah
A used ... pink bathrobe
A rare ... mint snowglobe
A Smurf ... TV tray
I bought on eBay

My house ... is filled with this crap
Shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day
What I bought on eBay

Tell me why (I need another pet rock)
Tell me why (I got that Alf alarm clock)
Tell me why (I bid on Shatner's old toupee)
They had it on eBay

I'll buy ... your knick-knack
Just check ... my feedback
"A++!" they all say
They love me on eBay

Gonna buy (a slightly-damaged golf bag)
Gonna buy (some Beanie Babies, new with tag)
(From some guy) I've never met in Norway
Found him on eBay

I am the type who is liable to snipe you
With two seconds left to go, whoa
Got Paypal or Visa, what ever'll please ya
As long as I've got the dough

I'll buy ... your tchotchkes
Sell me ... your watch, please
I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy ...)
I'm highest bidder now

(Junk keeps arriving in the mail)
(From that worldwide garage sale) (Dukes Of Hazard ashtray)
(Hey! A Dukes Of Hazard ashtray)
Oh yeah ... (I bought it on eBay)

Wanna buy (a PacMan Fever lunchbox)
Wanna buy (a case of vintage tube socks)
Wanna buy (a Kleenex used by Dr. Dre, Dr. Dre)
(Found it on eBay)

Wanna buy (that Farrah Fawcet poster)
(Pez dispensers and a toaster)
(Don't know why ... the kind of stuff you'd throw away)
(I'll buy on eBay)

What I bought on eBay-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y



"Don't Download This Song"

Once in a while
Maybe you will feel the urge.
To break into national copyright law
By downloading mp3s
From file sharing sites
Like Morpheus, or Grokster, or LimeWire, or Kazaa.
But deep in your Heart.
You know the guilt would drive you mad
And the shame would leave a permanent scar
Cause you start out stealing songs
Then you’re robbing liquor stores
And selling Crack
And running over school kids with your car

[Chorus]
So Don’t Download This Song
The record store is where you belong
Go and buy the CD like you know that you should
Oh Don’t Download This Song

Oh you don’t want to mess
With the R I Double A
They’ll sue you if you burn that CD-R.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a grandma
Or a seven year old girl
They’ll treat you like the evil Hard-bitten criminal scum you are

[Chorus]
So Don’t Download This Song (don’t go)
Pirating music all day long
Go and buy the CD like you know that you should
Oh Don’t Download This Song

Don’t take away money
From artists just like me
How else can I afford another solid gold Hum V
And diamond studded swimming pools
These things don’t grow on trees
So all I ask is everybody Pleaseeeeee

[Chorus]
Don’t Download This Song (Don’t do it No No)
Even Lars Urlich Know it’s wrong (You could just ask him)
Go and buy the CD like you know that you should (You Really Should)
Oh Don’t Download This Song

Don’t Download This Song (Oh please don’t you do it or you)
Might Wind up in Jail like Tommy Chong (Remember Tommy)
Go and buy the CD (Right Now) like you know that you should (Go out and Buy it)
Oh Don’t Download This Song.

Don’t Download This Song (No no no no no no)
Or you’ll burn in hell before to long (And you deserve it)
Go and buy the CD (Just buy it) like you know that you should


"Virus Alert"

Hey, everyone, listen up, your attention if you please
We wanna give you a warning
'Cause I found out this morning
About a dangerous, insidious computer virus
If you should get it, an email with the subject, 'stinky cheese'
Better off protecting your chances
Under no circumstances, should you open it
Or else it will

Translate your documents into Swahili
Make your TV record "Gigli"
Neuter your pets, and give you laundry static cling
Look out!
It's gonna make your computer screen freeze
Look out!
Erase the Easter eggs off your DVDs
Look out!
Erase your hard drive and your backups too
And the hard drive of anyone related to you

Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody

Soon, very soon, it will make all the paint peel off your walls
It'll make your keyboard all sticky
Give your poodle a hickey
And invest your cash in stock in Euro Disney
Then, it will tie up your phone, making prank long-distance calls
It'll set your clocks back an hour and start clogging the shower
So just trash it now, or else it will

Decide to give you a permanent wedgie,
Legally change your name to Reggie,
Even mess up the pH balance in your pool

Look out!
It's gonna melt your face right off your skull
Look out!
And make your iPod only play Jethro Tull
Look out!
And tell you knock-knock jokes while you're trying to sleep
Look out!
And make you physically attracted to sheep
Look out!
Steal your identity and your credit card
Look out!
Buy you a warehouse full of pink leotards
Look out!
Then cause a major rift in time and space
And leave a bunch of Twinkie wrappers all over the place
That's right it's a

Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody

Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody
Warn all your friends, send this to everybody
Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now

If you get infected, you'll wish you had never been born
So before it emails your grandmother all of your porn
Turn off your computer and make sure it powers down
Drop it in a forty-three-foot hole in the ground
Bury it completely; rocks and boulders should be fine
Then burn all the clothes you may have worn any time you were online!

Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody

Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody

Virus alert!
Delete immediately before someone gets hurt!
Forward this message on to everybody
Warn all your friends, send this to everybody
Tell everyone you know, tell everybody now
What are you waiting for?
Just hurry up and forward this to every single person that you know!
Hit send right now!


I LOVE MUSIC!!!
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Here are some of my absolute favorite things that my friends have said:

"6's and 2's look alot alike. Just try playing cards for two hours straight!" (It's true. I played that game and after awhile almost everything looks the same. Lol.)

"If you have anything to say then say it now or forever lay in pieces" (instead of hold your peace. Lol)

"Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I." (This is actually a quote from somewhere else but i'm not sure where.)

(In response to me saying that I'm going to make a huge mess in his room as he's leaving) "Ok! Just make sure you tidy up before you go!"

"Welcome to Department of Redundancy Department!"



Now for somemore random funny quotes that are random and hopefully funny because I can't think of anything better to put on right now and I'm trying to make my page insanely long for no apparent reason at all. Lol. um.......

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. (Idk who said that but I think that's hilarious. Lol)

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing

Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost?

I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

He who laughs last didn't get it.

There are three sides of an arguement -- your side, my side and the right side.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

Who are you and how did you get in here? Frank: I'm a locksmith. And... I'm a locksmith...

Whatever it is -- I didn't do it!

"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757

Why is it called 'after dark' when it really is 'after light'?

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.

There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?

Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it.


I'm not sure what else to put on here so for now I guess that's it......Lol.