One-Winged Angel• Show poetry

Okay, someone else on allpoetry has my name. Granted, she has had it for longer than me, but i really like my name.  So now i feel like i have to change it.  I need suggestions for good new names for me because i have to change mine.  I'm being the bigger man and stepping down from my name because someone else has had it longer than me.  Something original if you don't mine.  Thanks.

Okay, so this is my splurge of thought for the time.  Write it down people!!! I HATE AMERICAN DAD!!!!!!!  Screw all of you worthless followers of the creators of Family Guy.  I HATE AMERICAN DAD!!!!!!!  But please note that I love Family Guy.  In fact, it is an inspiration to me sometimes.  But for all of you people out there that are saying to themselves, "How can he like Family Guy and hate American Dad.  They're the same thing."  No, that's where your wrong.  Family Guy was an original in its time.  Back in the late 90's early 2000's, tv had never seen a show that was as vulgar and random.  Most animated shows like the Simpsons and Futurama didn't need to be random because their plots and hysterical lines from comedic were quality enough to keep their audience entertained.  But Family Guy decided to take that old concept and toss down the crap-hole.  They still have hysterical characters, like Stewie, but most of the laughs don't come from the dialogue but from the random occurences or references to today's celebrities.  And that's what made it great.  But then the producers decided to capatilize on the same idea that Family Guy used.  Thus creating the Antichrist of animated tv shows, American Dad.  The mechanics of both shows are exactly the same, the producers just changed the name of the show and the characters.  Underneath it's all thes same nuts and bolts.  Even the animation is the same, and I mean literally the same.  They just cut and pasted pieces from the characters of Family Guy and put them together to create new characters.  For example, the Dad, I don't give a crap what his name is, is a very simple character.  They took Peter's eyes, added Quagmire's chin to give him that strapping chin look (by the way, the reason it looks strapping is because Quagmire's chin is higher on his face than the dad's), and then they took the wheelchair guy's body because it was the perfect physique.  That's just retarded.  That's gayer than Christmas at Bloomingdale's.  And furthermore, the personalites are are rehashed concepts of the personalities of the Family Guy characters.  Family has a family of 6 characters.  Peter (dad), Lois (wife), Meg (daughter), Chris (son), Brian (dog, or for the sake of the splurge, "talking comedic animal"), and Stewie (other son, or the sake of the splurge, "character that you wouldn't expect to talk but actually does and has a weird accent that shouldn't be there").  Taking this idea, the producers came up with...(wait for it).....(wait for it)....(wait for it)....A FAMILY OF SIX.  Now let's break it down:

1. Peter vs. the other Dad guy.  Okay, though not similar in appearance, nor in their work...both are extremely stupid and narrowminded in the way they think.  Both don't appreciate their family as much as they should, and the other dad is just stupid.

2. Lois vs. the other wife chick.  Once again, the same concept.  Both are stay at home mom's, constantly nagging, and both are the logical thinkers in the family.  They're the ones to say, "Wait this doesn't make any since at all."  And their voices are also over exaggerated to allow for slight annoyance.

3. Chris vs. the other son queer.  Again, they are one in the same.  Both are practically the same age, both are struggling with the problems of puberty.  And both are stupid like their dad.

4. Meg vs. the other lesbo daughter.  Both are struggling to find themselves, the only difference is that one is a hippy and the other one is fat.  This is the exact conversation that occured in the board on the decision for this character, "Okay, so fat chicks aren't funny anymore.  So what is....wait I've got it.  Hippies!". Exactly...

5. Brian vs. that random-ass fish.  WARNING! FROM HERE ON IT GETS UGLY!  Alright, first-off.  Both are animals that talk, I'm fine with the whole talking animal thing because that has gone with characters forever.  But the fact that the fish has a goddamn German accent really pisses me off.  Brian doesn't have an accent, but he is the only sophisticated one in the entire show and he is the most logical one.  Plus his one-liners are hilarious.  The producers to take the idea and exaggerated to a massive extent to where its just shit on a stick.  They thought of another animal that lives in a house and you wouldn't expect to talk...A fish (a cat would be too cliche *said sarcastically).  Then they realized that the damn thing was a fish and couldn't go anywhere, so to make up for the fact that's a it's a DAMN FISH, they decided to give it an accent.  What's the last accent you'd expect from a fish...GERMAN!  That's just a sad attempt at a shitty recreation of another character.

6. Stewie vs. the flaming alien.  WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Stewie was a great character because of the stuff he did, and he was the most random character of the household.  The creators knew that the audience would be fine when they heard Brian talk, explained that already.  But they also knew that the reaction from the audience when they saw this innoncent baby say, "What the deuce?  Oh fat man, someday you'll pay for bringing me into this world.  Yes, you and all your seeds....", was going to be comedic and unexpected.  Plus, Stewie's got a random British accent to make him seemed more refined than the rest of the household.  Taking these concepts, the producers came up with this satanic character...the flaming alien.  What's the last character you'd see in a house...AN ALIEN.  Taking that, they stretched the character to the size of Joan Rivers forehead and Arnold Schwarzaneggar's ego.  No longer is he any alien, but an alien with a stereotypical gay man accent.  HOORAY!  The character needed an accent, and that's what they got.  He wouldn't be interesting without the accent, in fact he'd be too random.  So since...he's...gay, he should be there..I guess.  I mean c'mon.  That character is in no comparison to Stewie.  Damn flaming alien character is so queer.  I mean the concept for that character is queerer than a straight man in a cabaret.  ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alright, I'm done.  Anger to much for me.....


More quotes, because quotes are fun:

"Fear me! I've got a mullet sheild!"
-Josh playing Fable

"Pants and citrus beverage make the world go round."
-Me

"WHAT! THAT'S CRAZY! I WISH MY CAP-SIZE COULD BECOME LARGER BECAUSE I AM HORRIFIED AND CANNOT EXPRESS MYSELF PROPERLY!"
-Me

"Stop assalting me with the squiggle!"
-Me

"Ah, deadly little Miho."
-Sin City

"Blurb, it's what you do."
-Matt Carter

"Birds, Bees, and Cows.  It was a sex retreat where we ended up at a diary farm."
-Jacob Bennett

"At what age do you tell a highway it's adopted?"
-some comedian on Conan O'Brien

"I think those signs that say, 'Slow Children Playing' are so mean."
-again the same comedian

"AH! Lesbian realitors!"
-Jack (Will and Grace)

"It's the human condition to lie...It's what they lie about that's the variable."
-Dr. Gregory House

"Have you gotten caught up, Caboose?"
"I think so.  So...Tex is a robot...and you were Tex's boyfriend...So that makes you...a gay robot."
-Red vs. Blue

"When people whisper in my ear, it makes my butt-hole pucker."
-Huey

"We can do rapiers, raping, or both."
-Rosengratz and Guildenstein are Dead

"My mother always told me to where clean underwear just in case I got hit by a bus."
-commercial on TV (I'm not joking)

"I've seen lustery balls before."
-Josh

"Harry Potter's a flamer?"
-Steven