Minor1000• Show poetry

Hello

I'm at my most attractive during winter, because no-one has a tan, so no one can see how pasty I am.

I'm a massive fan of dark, scary gothic lyrics and poems. This is my first attempt at writing gothic poetry, so excuse me if my earlier matereal is a little shit. I also enjoy piss take poems and songs, so expect to see a few of them in my stuff. My poems are thought up on the spot and I take no longer than a day to write them; I just think that poems that come from what is going on in my head at that moment are always far better than ones I agonize over for month.

It's only angst when you start writing poems about it.

Bands I like include Metallica, System of a Down, Ozzy Osbourne, Cradle of filth, Rammstein, Crematory, Hypocrisy, Darkthrone, Soil, Sabbath, the Deathstars and Alice in Chains.

Here is where I sink as low as to put a blonde joke on this page:
A blond is pulled over by a traffic policeman who requests her drivers licence and passport which she obligingly gives him. When he unzips his flies, however, she exclaims in a startled voice 'OH NO! Not another breathalizer test...
*sleazy drum roll*

Things I like include bathing, the smell of bonfire smoke, breathing, fixing my car, spraypaint, misty mornings, staring out of top-floor windows, things that make me look different, thunderstorms, items of immense power, lightning, giant engines, turbochargers, pot, portable fire, bitter, brand new asphalt, swords, heavy leather jackets, METAL, the sound of one hand clapping, clothes that induce dread in my enemies, panoramic views, mountains, cooking, growing vegetables, caterpillars, posh watches, white spirit, swag.

Pet hates include shitty manufactured pop, chavs, rap 'music', burberry, boy racer cars, crack, WKD, white trainers, continental lager, cherry brandy, speed cameras, blunt knives, oily rags, needles, phlegm, chipboard (argh, splinters), earwax, people I hate for no reason, cutting oneself, sand, maths, standing on ants nests, radio one, political extremism, the thought of dying alone, watch straps that break, dance floors, ballroom dancing whilst pissed, standing in long queues, atom bombs, white and grubby t-shirts, blisters, smallpox, lumps, unfaithful girlfriends, ingrowing toenails, break dancing, sport, people who are more skilled than me and those bloody emo kids who pretend their problems are worse than yours.

Enjoy the poems.