Midnight Lily• Show poetry

Just call me Lily, please.

I have actually written a few poems, all of which are extremely dark and disturbing so if anyone reading this is into that kind of thing, feel free to read them.

Favorite Quotes: (I know it's over done, I just don't care)

"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."

"I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me."

"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."

"I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson."

"The darkness that surrounds us cannot hurt us. It is the darkness in your own heart you should fear."

"Fo' shizzle ma' nizzle" is a bastardization of "fo' sheezy mah neezy" which is a bastardization of "for sure mah nigga" which is a bastardization of "I concur with you whole-heartedly my African American brother."

"Twas complacency that killed the beast."


"Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."

"Sleep... Those slices of death.... How I loathe them."


"When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained."


"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it."


"Why try to stay sane in such a crazy world?"


"Order is for the simple-minded, geniuses can handle chaos."



"There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another which states that this has already happened."


"You know the oxygen masks on airplanes ? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams."

"I'd insult you, but you're not bright enough to notice."


"I refuse to engage in an intellectual battle with an unarmed opponent."


"A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them."


"Matter is just the scientific word for stuff."


"The only difference between a mad man and myself is that I am not a man."


"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."


"I am prepared to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."


"There is no armor against fate; death lays his icy hand on kings."


"From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put."


"I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone has printed gibberish all over it and put your name at the top."


"Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac, you can always take something for it."


"A home is not a mere transient shelter: its essence lies in the personalities of the people who live in it."


"We had gay robbers last night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."

"All listen to them, the children of the night. What sweet music they make..."


"You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers."

"He who fights monsters should look into it that he himself does not become a monster. When you gaze long into the Abyss, the Abyss also gazes into you."


"You sound reasonable. Time to up my medication."


"I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message."


"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize I could be eating a slow learner."


"We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.'"


"You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter."


"I've found Jesus! He was behind the couch the whole time."

"Some days it's just not worth gnawing through the leather straps."



"Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter."



"Karaoke bars combine two of the nation's greatest evils —people who shouldn't drink with people who shouldn't sing."


"As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools."

"On the journey of life, I choose the psycho path."

"I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth."


"The word ‘politics’ is derived from the word ‘poly,’ meaning ‘many,’ and the word ‘ticks,’ meaning ‘blood sucking parasites.'"

"In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some."

"People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi."


.....Okay, I think that's enough for now.