Maryah• Show poetry

Bout Maryah™
I'm 18
I'm female
I'm single
I'm an aries
I have amazing friends
I read, I imagine
I fantasize, I dream
I write, I draw
I play, I study
I worry, I wonder
I love, I hate
I enjoy, I hurt
I get hurt, I live
& one day I will die.
I am a selfish person.

If you came here looking for something easy, you may as well turn around and walk back the way you came. I am a very complicated human being. I'm 18 and have unstable emotions. When I dive in, I go to the bottom. Plain and simple, I give it my all. But that's just if I decide to actually try with it. It's not that I give up, I just simply don't try and if I do then I give it all I have. Here recently, actually trying and giving it my all is rare. So don't push your luck. I quit trying to be someone that everyone loves and wants to be with just recently, and I feel great about it. I couldn't care less if you don't like who I am or my decisions. I am me and I decide what to do with myself.
I do get emotional and show it. However that doesn't mean that I want your help, pity or any other god damn thing you want to offer. I can handle it in givin' time. I try to keep my feelings to myself however since a lot of people don't know when someone doesn't want help. If you can see that I am emotional and I say drop it, you better fucking drop it. Otherwise I'll get bitchy on your ass. But if I do come to you for help then consider yourself a friend and one that I can trust.
I don't trust easily now because of my past. Things have fallen in certain ways and trust is a hard issue. I also don't really like relationships becuase all they do is complicate the already complicated way of living. And who needs that? I do however take interest in males and I do try sometimes with relationships. It's not that I don't want someone, it's more of the trust issue sinking in or I screw it up.
I fuck things up. I'm perfectly imperfect. You can pick out so many defects in my personality, my way of thinking, and my appearance for hours and still it wouldn't be enough time to find everything. However that's the way I am. I am a human being, and no one is perfect.
I write a lot about many things. I enjoy writing poetry and having my emotions show through in the words that I write. I also write about other peoples experiences and write from other's point of view, if I am able, to get a better understanding of things.
I listen to all music, because nothing limits the way it can make you feel. There is a song for every moment in your life out there, all you have to do is take the time to find it. Music is another way of expressing myself to tohers and it helps me understand my own feelings even better sometimes. Give it a try. Music helps.
Reading is my escape from reality, besides my own head. Getting lost in a book for hours on end is something I do very often. So many loves I have in the pages I read. I love seeing relationships blossom and grow, and sometimes die. I love seeing someone's tragic beginning and then seeing them better from it. I mostly read paranormal,adventure, fantasy, romance, fiction and science-fition.
How many times can one be broken until they shatter? I still wonder this. Many of the times I have broke is because of my own doing. I set myself up for what happens and then I don't do anything to trty to fix. Well I used to. I plan on fixing that if I ever get the chance to. Along with the help of some of my closest friends I always seem to patch myself up just enough to move on.
My friends are the world to me and always will be. No matter what paths they choose, what they go through, anything it doesn't matter, I will always be here for them. They will never be without someone. I hold onto my friends even as I make new ones. I understand that I am not replacing my long time friends, just updating my loving chosen family. I enjoy meeting new people but I am one of those that will rarely talk first. i get appraoched and I will talk your ear off but I will be deadly honest with you. I believe that friendship is held together with tears, hugs, and trust.