Breakingdawn-kitten• Show poetry

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_________________________about me__________________________


my name is Alaura (aka Lola) and I live in California. I was born in Colorado and I have a border collie mix named Emmett and a kitten named spawny. I am a vegetarian in high school and I can play the clarinet and partially the sax. If I were to choose three jobs I was to have as an adult, they would be: a preschool teacher, a professional poet, or a lyricist. my friends all support me in what i do and i am just an averge girl wanting to have a way release my emotions, which i found in poems!!



_________________________My AP family________________________


My AP fam is:
Bros-Uthremdetiago
Lowercase Prelude
Pingwen

Sisterz-XxmizundastoodxX
Erozay
ColdShadowNessa

Fraternal twin- Supafly Gemini

mom- noir mariposa...x

aunt- tears of the dark
Reptile Lady

cousin- PoeticLove
Insane20Monkey

Husband- no

Niece- xX Mita Xx
InsanityDies

pet- princess of my love

Friends-too many to name



____________________Other things about me__________________



Place an X by all the things you've done, or remove the X from the ones you have not, and send it to all of your friends (including me). This is for your entire life!
( ) Smoked a cigarette
( ) Drank so much you threw up
(x) Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) Been arrested
( ) Gone on a blind date
( ) Skipped school
( ) Seen someone die
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Florida
( ) Been to Mexico
(X) Been on a plane
(X) Been lost
( ) Been on the opposite side of the country
( ) Gone to Washington , DC
(X) Swam in the ocean
(X) Felt like dying....
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
(X) Played cops and robbers
(X) Recently colored with crayons
(X) Sang karaoke badly
( ) paid for a meal with only coins
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(X) Made prank phone calls
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) Laughed until liquid came out of the other end
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue.
(X) Danced in the rain
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(X) Watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(X) Blown bubbles
( ) Made a bonfire on the beach
( ) Crashed a party
(X) Gone roller-skating
( ) Ice-skating



________________________songs_______________________


Black Eyed Peas' WHERE IS THE LOVE

What's wrong with the world, mama
People livin' like they ain't got no mamas
I think the whole world addicted to the drama
Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma
Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK
But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate
And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, yeah
Badness is what you demonstrate
And that's exactly how a n**** works and operates
N**, you gotta have love just to set it straight
Take control of your mind and meditate
Let your soul gravitate to the love, y'all, y'all

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)

Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love

It just ain't the same, always unchanged
New days are strange, is the world insane
If love and peace is so strong
Why are there pieces of love that don't belong
Nations droppin' bombs
Chemical gasses fillin' lungs of little ones
With the ongoin' sufferin' as the youth die young
So ask yourself is the lovin' really gone
So I could ask myself really what is goin' wrong
In this world that we livin' in people keep on givin'
in
Makin' wrong decisions, only visions of them dividends
Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love
Where's the love, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the truth, y'all, come on (I don't know)
Where's the love, y'all

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)

Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love
The love, the love

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder
As I'm gettin' older, y'all, people gets colder
Most of us only care about money makin'
Selfishness got us followin' our own direction
Wrong information always shown by the media
Negative images is the main criteria
Infecting the young minds faster than bacteria
Kids act like what they see in the cinema
Yo', whatever happened to the values of humanity
Whatever happened to the fairness in equality
Instead in spreading love we spreading animosity
Lack of understanding, leading lives away from unity
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' under
That's the reason why sometimes I'm feelin' down
There's no wonder why sometimes I'm feelin' under
Gotta keep my faith alive to lovers bound

People killin', people dyin'
Children hurt and you hear them cryin'
Can you practice what you preach
And would you turn the other cheek

Father, Father, Father help us
Send us some guidance from above
'Cause people got me, got me questionin'
Where is the love (Love)

Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)

Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)
Where is the love (The love)




Katy Perry’s I KISSED A GIRL

(V1)
This was never the way I planned
Not my intention
I got so brave, drink in hand
Lost my discretion

It's not what
I'm used to
Just wanna try u on
I'm curious for you
Caught my attention

(CHORUS)
I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

(V2)
No I don't even know your name
It doesn't matter
You're my expiramental game
Just human nature

It's not what
Good girls do
Not how they should behave
My head gets
So confused
Hard to obey

(CHORUS)
I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it

(BRIDGE)
Us girls we are so magical
Soft skin, red lips, so kissable
Hard to resist so touchable
Too good to deny it
Ain't no big deal, it's innocent

(CHORUS)
I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
I kissed a girl just to try it
I hope my boyfriend don't mind it
It felt so wrong
It felt so right
Don't mean I'm in love tonight
I kissed a girl and I liked it
I liked it



RENT's LA VIE BOHEME

Angel
Who died?

Benny
Our Akita

Benny, Mark, Angel, Collins
Evita

Benny
They make fun - yet I'm the one
Attempting to do some good
Or do you really want a neighborhood
Where people piss on your stoop every night?
Bohemia, Bohemia's
A fallacy in your head
This is Calcutta
Bohemia is dead

Mark
Dearly beloved we gather here to say our goodbyes

Collins & Roger
Dies irae - dies illa
Kyrie eleison
Yitgadal v' yitkadash (etc)

Mark
Here she lies
No one knew her worth
The late great daughter of mother earth
On this night when we celebrate the birth
In that little town of Bethlehem
We raise our glass - you bet your ass to -
La vie Boheme

All
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme

Mark
To days of inspiration
Playing hookey, making something out of nothing
The need to express -
To communicate,
To going against the grain,
Going insane
Going mad
To loving tension, no pension
To more than one dimension,
To starving for attention,
Hating convention, hating pretension
Not to mention of course,
Hating dear old mom and dad
To riding your bike,
Midday past the three piece suits
To fruits - to no absolutes -
To Absolut - to choice -
To the Village Voice -
To any passing fad
To being an us for once
Instead of a them

All
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme

Mr. Grey
Ahhemm

Maureen
Hey Mister - she's my sister

Restaurant Man
So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad
Three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter
And one pasta with meatless balls

Roger
Ugh

Collins
It tastes the same

Mimi
If you close your eyes

Restaurant Man
And thirteen orders of fries
Is that it here?

All
Wine and beer!

Mimi & Angel
To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries
To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese
To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo
To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou

Maureen & Collins
Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion
Creation, vacation

Mark
Mucho masturbation

Maureen & Collins
Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new

Collins
To Sontag

Angel
To Sondheim

Four People
To anything taboo

Collins & Roger
Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage

Collins
Lenny Bruce

Roger
Langston Hughes

Maureen
To the stage

Person #1
To Uta

Person #2
To Buddha

Person #3
Pablo Neruda, too

Mark & Mimi
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow
To blow off Auntie Em

All
La vie Boheme

Mr. Grey
Sisters?

Maureen
We're close

Angel, Collins, Maureen, Mark, Mr. Grey
Brothers!

Mark, Angel, Mimi & Three Others
Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens,
Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman
German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein
Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa
Carmina Burana

All
To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy
Vaclav Havel - The Sex Pistols, 8BC,
To no shame - never playing the Fame Game

Collins
To marijuana

All
To sodomy,
It's between God and me
To S & M

Benny
Waiter...Waiter...Waiter

All
La vie Boheme

Collins
In honor of the death of Bohemia an impromptu salon will
commence immediately following dinner.... Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement
at the eleventh street lot, will sing native american tribal
chants backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself
on the electric cello - which she has never studied.


Roger
Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his
inability to hold an erection on high holy days.

Mark
Mimi Marquez,
clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn
chair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred
Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song.
(Roger picks up a guitar and plays)
That doesn't remind us of "Musetta's Waltz"

Collins
Angel Dumott Schunard will now model the latest fall fashions
from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic
pickle tub.

Angel
And Collins will recount his exploits as an anarchist -
including the successful reprogramming of the M.I.T.
virtual reality equipment to self-destruct, as it broadcast
the words:

All
"Actual reality - Act Up - Fight AIDS"

Mimi
Excuse me - did I do something wrong?
I get invited - then ignored - all night long

Roger
I've been trying - I'm not lying
No one's perfect. I've got baggage

Mimi
Life's too short, babe, time is flying
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine

Roger
I should tell you --

Mimi
I've got baggage too

Roger
I should tell you --

Both
Baggage - wine --

Others
And beer!

Mimi
AZT break

Roger
You?

Mimi
Me. You?

Roger
Mimi

ALL
Yea!!!
To Dance

MIMI
No Way To Make A Living, Masochism,
Pain, Perfection,
Muscle Spasm, Chiropractors, Short-
Careers, Eating Disorders

ALL
Film

MARK
Adventure, Tedium, No Family, Boring
Locations,
Dark Rooms, Perfect Faces, Egos,
Money, Hollywood And Sleaze

ALL
Music

ANGEL
Food Of Love, Emotion, Mathematics,
Isolation,
Rhythm, Power, Feeling, Harmony,
And Heavy Competition

ALL
Anarchy

COLLINS & MAUREEN
Revolution, Justice, Screaming For
Solutions,
Forcing Changes, Risk, And Danger
Making Noise And Making Pleas

ALL
To Faggots, Lezzies, Dykes, Cross
Dressers Too

MAUREEN
To Me

MARK
To Me

COLLINS & ANGEL
To Me

ALL
To You, And You And You, You And You
To People living With, Living With,
Living With
Not Dying From Disease

Let He Among Us Without Sin
Be The First To Condemn

La Vie Boheme
La Vie Boheme
La Vie Boheme

MARK
Anyone Out Of The
Mainstream
Is Anyone In The
Mainstream?
Anyone Alive - With A
Sex Drive
Tear Down The Wall
Aren't We All
The Opposite Of War
Isn't Peace...
It's Creation

ALL
Whoo!
La Vie Boheme
VIVA LA VIE BOHEME!




A limerick

you cry, I Cry
You laugh I laugh
You Jump off a cliff I laugh even Harder.






_________________________cool pics____________________


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|………..|
|………..| Put this on your
|………..| page if you have
|…….O.| ever pushed a
|………..| door that said pull!
|………..|
|………..|

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(\ /)
( . .)
c(''') (''')
If you'd like to help this bunny with world domination,
please paste him on your Page


/\_/\
(^=.=^)
||_||)/
Copy and paste this kitty for cat power!
Feline Furosiousness! MEOW!

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/_|_\ This is Mr. Bunny. Please paste him to your page to help him with his mission to DOMINATE the world!!!






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________________________ love ________________________

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty,
He said..no.
She asked him if he would want to be with her forever...and he said no.
She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry,and once again he replied with a no.
She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and
said...
You're not pretty you're beautiful.
I don't want to be with you forever, I NEED to be with you forever.
And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die.




♥Girl: Do I Ever Cross Your Mind?
♥Boy: No
♥Girl: Do You Like Me?
♥Boy: Not Really.
♥Girl: Do You Want Me?
♥Boy: No.
♥Girl: Would You Cry If I Left?
♥Boy: No.
♥Girl: Would You Live For Me?
♥Boy: No.
♥Girl: Would You Do Anything For Me?
♥Boy: No.
♥Girl: Choose- Me Or Your Life.
♥Boy: My Life.
♥The Girl Runs Away In Shock And Pain And The Boy Runs After Her And Says:
♥The Reason You Never Cross My Mind Is Because Your Always On My Mind
♥The Reason I Dont Like You Is Because I Love You
♥The Reason I Dont Want You Is Because I Need You
♥The Reason I Wouldnt Cry If You Left Is Because I Would Die If You Left
♥The Reason I Wouldnt Live For You Is Because I Would Die For You
♥The Reason Im Not Willing To Do Anything For You Is Because I Would Do Everything For You
♥The Reason I Choose My Life Is Because You Are My Life!♥




WHEN I RUN AWAY FROM YOU
- CHASE ME

WHEN I POUT MY LIPS
- KISS ME

WHEN I KICK & PUNCH
- HOLD ME TIGHT

WHEN I CALL YOU A LOSER
- JUST KNOW THAT YOUR MY LOSER

WHEN I AM SILENT
- IM THINKIN OF HOW TO SAY I LOVE YOU

WHEN I IGNORE YOU
- I WANT ALL YOUR ATTENTION

WHEN I PULL AWAY
- GRAB ME BY THE WAIST AND NEVER LET GO

WHEN YOU SEE ME AT MY WORST
- TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL

WHEN I SCREAM AT YOU
- TELL ME YOU LOVE ME AND MEAN IT

WHEN YOU SEE ME WALKING
-SNEAK UP BEHIND ME GRAB ME BY THE WAIST AND GIVE ME A KISS

IF I DONT CALL YOU
- IM WANTING YOU TO CALL ME

WHEN IM SCARED
-HOLD ME AND TELL ME EVERYTHING WILL BE OK CAUSE I'M WITH YOU

WHEN I LOOK LIKE SOMETHINGS THE MATTER
- KISS ME AND TELL ME NOT TO WORRY

WHILE I HOLD YOUR HANDS
- PLAY WITH MY FINGERS








*A girl and guy were speeding, on a motorcycle, over 90 mph on the road..
Girl: Slow down. I’m scared.
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it’s not. Please, it’s too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.
*Girl hugs him*
Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? It’s bugging me.
(In the paper the next day)
A motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it, but only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his breaks broke, but he didn’t want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die.
If you would ever do this for someone....then post this on your page asap!!





Girl Facts:

When a girl bumps into your arm while walking with you she wants you to hold her hand

When she wants a hug she will just stand there

When u break a girls heart she still feels it when u run into each other 3 years later

When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you will be around

When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a few seconds, she is not at all fine

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are playing games

When a girl lays her head on your chest, she is wishing for you to be hers forever

When a girl says she can't live without you, she has made up her mind that you are her future

When a girl says, "I miss you," no one in this world can miss you more than that

When a girl is mean to you after a break-up she wants you back, but shes scared she'll get hurt and knows you're gone forever

Guy Facts:

When a guy calls you, he wants to be with you

When a guy is quiet, He's listening to you...

When a guy is not arguing, He realizes he's wrong

When a guy says, "I'm fine." after a few minutes he means it

When a guy stares at you, he wishes you would care about him and wonders if you do

When your laying your head on a guy's chest, he has the world

When a guy calls/texts/comments you everyday, he is in love

When a (good) guy tells you he loves you, he means it

When a guy says he can't live without you, he's with you til you're done

When a guy says, "I miss you," he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else








What A Kiss Means

Kiss on the stomach-----"I love you"
Kiss on the Forehead ----"I hope we're together forever"
Kiss on the Ear ---"I'm corny"
Kiss on the Cheek ---"We're friends"
Kiss on the Hand ---"I adore you"
Kiss on the Neck ---"We belong together"
Kiss on the Shoulder ---"I want you"
Kiss on the Lips ---"I love you" OR "I want you"

What the gesture means...

Holding Hands ---"We definitely love each other"
Slap on the Butt ---"That's mine"
Holding on tight ---"I don't want to let go"
Looking into each other's Eyes ---"I just plain love you"
Playing with Hair ---"Tell me you love me"
Arms around the Waist ---"I love you too much to let go"
Laughing while Kissing ---"I am completely Comfortable with you"


Every girl dreams that one day she will find a boy that does these things for her. even the smallest action can have the BIGGEST impact in someones life.


• leave her cute text notes.
• kiss her in front of your friends.
• trust her over everyone else.
• tell her she looks beautiful.
• look into her eyes when you talk to her.
• let her mess with your hair.
• touch her hair.
• just walk around with her.
• forgive her for her mistakes.
• look at her like she`s the only girl you see.
• hold her hand when you`re around your friends.
• when she starts swearing at you, tell her you love her.
• let her fall asleep in your arms.
• get her mad, then kiss her.
• tease her and let her tease you back.
• stay up all night with her when she`s sick.
• watch her favorite movie with her.
• kiss her forehead.
• write her letters.
• when she`s sad, hang out with her.
• let her know she`s important.
• let her take all the photos she wants of you.
• kiss her in the pouring rain.
• when you fall in love with her, tell her,and when you tell her, love her like you`ve never loved someone before.






--Advice--

Dont ask for a kiss, take one.
*If you were thinking about someone
while reading this,
you're definitely in Love.





_________________________jokes_________________________




>Pick the month you were born:
>January------I kicked
>February-----I loved
>March---------I smoked
>April-----------I humped
>May-----------I choked on
>June----------I murdered
>July-----------I chicken danced
>August-------I ate
>September---I danced with
>October------I sang to
>November----I yelled at
>December----I slept on

>Pick the day (number) you were born on:
>1-------a birdbath
>2-------a monster
>3-------a phone
>4-------a spoon
>5-------a Mexican
>6-------a gangster
>7-------my cell phone
>8-------my dog
>9-------my brother
>10-------my neighbor
>11-------my ugliest teacher
>12-------a banana
>13---- ---a fireman
>14-------a stuffed animal
>15-------a pig
>16-------a pickle
>17-------your mom
>18---- ---a book
>19-------myself
>20-------a baseball bat
>21-------a ninja
>22-------johnny depp (he's sexy)
>23-------a noodle
>24-------a ham
>25-------a football player
>26-------my sister
>27-------my pet hamster
>28-------an ipod
>29-------a permanent marker
>30-------a llama
>31-------A homeless guy

>Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
>White--------because I'm fly like that
>Black---------because that's how I roll.
>Pink----------because I'm a homosexual.
>Red----------because the voices told me to.
>Blue----------because I'm sexy and I do what I want
>Green---------because I hate myself.
>Purple--------because I'm a banana.
>Gray----------because I was drunk
>Yellow--------because someone offered me 1,000,000,000,000,000,000 dollars
>Orange-------because I ate my family.
>Brown--------because I was high.
>Other---------because I'm a ninja.
>None----------because I can control myself

my real one: i murdered a stuffed animal because i was drunk
my fake ones: i choked on a ninja because the voices told me to
i humped a pickle because i am a ninja
i chicken danced with a birdbath because i am sexy and i do what i want



30 things to do at Wal-Mart
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
4. Start playing Calvin ball; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
7. Pee in the sink and see if anyone notices
8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially down thin narrow aisles.
10. Make farting noises as you pass a group of people and blame it on them
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volume up to 10!
12. Steal an item from someone’s cart while their looking, see what happens
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!" etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
15. Put M&M's on layaway.
16. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. 22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows form bed and bath.
17. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin- -to the Bat cave!" 26. TP as much of the store as possible.
18. When some one asks you if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
19. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
20. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hire employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
21. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full-scale battlefield with G.I. Joe vs. the X-Men.
22. Take bets on the battle described above.
23. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
24. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
25. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
26. When some one-steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
27. Relax in the pation furniture until you get kicked out.
28. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, “No, no!" It's those voices again!"
29. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
30. Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.




20 Ways To Annoy A Public Bathroom Stall mate

1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, 'May I borrow a highlighter?'
2. Say, 'Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that.'
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, 'Damn, this water's cold.'
5. Drop a marble and say, 'Oh shit! My glass eye!'
6. Say, 'Hmmm, I've never seen that color before.'
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, 'Now how did that get there?'
9. Say, 'Humus. Reminds me of humus.'
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, 'Whoa! Easy boy!'
11. Say, 'Interesting. More floaters than sinkers.'
12. Using a small squeeze tube spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drops the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, 'Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?'
13. Say, 'C'mon Mr. Happy! Don't fall asleep on Me.'
14. Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettuccine alfredo you had for breakfast.
15. Say, 'Boy, that sure looks like a maggot.
16. Say, 'Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?'
17. Play a well-known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
18. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your 'Cross-Dressers Anonymous' newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
19. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, 'Peek-a-boo!'
20. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing 'Born Free'.




Kid and a Cop
a city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl stopped beside him on her new shiny bike.

“Nice bike” the cop said “did Santa bring it to you?”

“Yep,” the little girl said, “he sure did!”

The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $20 ticket for a safety violation, saying “Next year tell Santa to put a reflector on the back of it.”

The young girl looked up at the cop and said, “Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?”

“Yes, he sure did,” chuckled the cop.

The little girl looked up at the cop and said, “Next year tell Santa the d!ck goes underneath the horse, not on top.”


*~*~*~*~ LMFAO*~*~*~*~
She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
· -she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
· -she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
· -she thought a quarterback was a refund.
· -she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
· -she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
· -she thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools.
· -she thought General Motors was in the army.
· -she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
· -she thought TuPac Shakur was a Jewish holiday.
· -under "education" on her job application, she put
"Hooked On Phonics."

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
· -she tripped over a cordless phone.
· -she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can
because it said "concentrate."
· -she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and
"DON'T WALK."
· -at the bottom of the application where it says "sign
here," she put "Sagittarius."
· -she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
· -she studied for a blood test.
· -she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train
· -she sold the car for gas money!
· -when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice
instead.
· -when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said
"Airport Left," she turned around and went home.

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde:
· -when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
· -she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
· -if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
· -she thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.
· -she had a shirt that said "TGIF ," which she thought stood for "Tits Go In Front."
· -she thought Grape Nuts was a venereal disease



________________________percentages_______________________



92% of American teens today would die if Abercrombie & Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. If you're part of the 8% that would be laughing their asses off, put this in your profile...




*98% of teenagers have tried pot. If you are one of the 2% who hasn't, post this into your message*



_____________________beliefs_____________________




I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch
I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.
I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm PACIFIC ISLANDER, so I MUST be lazy.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love kool-aid and fried chicken.
I don't FLIRT WITH GUYS AT SCHOOL so I MUST be gay.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I'm POSTING THIS so I MUST be a groupie.

~*Post this in your profile if you think stereotyping is just plain wrong*~







PLEASE PASS ON AS A LAST REQUEST TO EVERY GIRL

To every girl that is SCARED to put her heart out there again, because she has been HURT too many times.
To every girl that dresses cute, not skanky.
To every girl who wants to be called beautiful, not hot.
To every girl that thinks they are fat and wants him to say I don't care just to show how much she means to him.
To every girl that will spend her whole day looking for the perfect present for you.
To every girl that would die to have a decent boyfriend.
To every girl who would just once like to be treated like a princess.
To every girl that just wants to hold hands.
To every girl that kisses him with meaning.
TO EVERY GIRL WHO JUST WISHES HE CARED MORE.
To every girl who just once, wants a guy to give their jacket up when she is cold.
To every girl who just wants him to call.
To every girl who lies awake at night thinking about him.
To every girl that just wants to cuddle.
TO EVERY GIRL WHO SHOWS HOW MUCH SHE CARES BUT GETS NOTHING BACK.
To every girl that ever thought "Maybe this one could be the one." To every girl that laughs at stupid stuff when she actually doesn't think it is funny.
To every girl who is just looking for that one and only and is having a rough time along the way.
To every girl that doesn't want a guy who just plays with her emotions but actually cares about how she feels.
TO EVERY GIRL WHO WANTS WORDS BACKED UP WITH ACTIONS. TO EVERY girl that FELL for ALL the LIES ONLY TO FIND THEMSELVES ALONE in the END.
To every girl that gave her heart away to have it shoved back in her face.
To every girl that has faith that "tomorrow will be a better day." And it will be.



RACISM IS WRONG!!!

*A black woman walks into a resturaunt and orders some food. The waitress, who is white, refuses to serve her, saying she is colored. The woman looked at her and said:

When I was born, I was black.

When I grow up, I'm black.

When I go into the sun, I'm black.

When I'm cold, I'm black.

When I'm scared, I'm black.

When I get sick I'm black.

When I die, I'm still black.

But you,

When you were born, you wre pink.

When you grow up, you're white.

When you go in the sun, you're red.

When your cold, you're blue.

When your scared, you're yellow.

When you get sick, you're green.

And, when you die, you're gray.

And you're calling me colored??





________________________abuse______________________


She Was Only 5..this is sad!
Body: Her dad was a drunk
Her mom was an addict
Her parents kept her
Locked in an attic

Her only friend
was a little toy bear
It was old and worn out
And had patches of hair

She always talked to it
When no one's around
She lays there and hugs it
Not a peep of sound

Until her parents
unlock the door
Some more and more pain
She'll have to endure

A bruise on her leg
A scar on her face
Why would she be
In such a horrible place?

But she grabs her bear
And softly cries
She loves her parents
But they want her to die

She sits in the corner
Quiet but thinking,
"Please God, why is
My life always sinking? "

Such a bad life
For a sad little kid
She'd get beaten and beaten
For anything she did

Then one night
Her mom came home high
And the poor child was beaten
As hours went by

Then her mom suddenly
Grabbed for a blade
It was sharp and pointy
One that she made

She thrusted the blade
Right in her chest,
"You deserve to die
You worthless piece of *bunny*!

The mom walked out
Leaving the girl slowly dying
She grabbed her bear
And again started crying

Police showed up
At the small little house
Then quickly barged in
Everything quiet as a mouse

One officer slowly
Opened a door
To find the little girl
Lying dead on the floor

It must have been bad
To go through so much harm
But at least she died
With her best friend in her arms

A child dies every day from child abuse.
And if you have an ounce of pity in you for Aurora
(the little girl), and you hate child abuse with a passion,
you will repost this and help out those abused children,
and let them know that someone cares for them.
It doesn't take that long only about 10 seconds
so please just do it.








My name is Sarah I am but three, My eyes are swollen I cannot see, I must be stupid I must be bad, What else could have made My daddy so mad? I wish I were better I wish I weren't ugly, Then maybe my mommy Would still want to hug me. I can't speak at all I can't do a wrong Or else I'm locked up All the day long When I awake I'm all alone The house is dark My folks aren't home. When my mommy does come I'll try and be nice, So maybe I'll get just One whipping tonight Don't make a sound! I just heard a car My daddy is back From Charlie's Bar. I hear him curse My name he calls I press myself Against the wall. I try and hide From his evil eyes I'm so afraid now I'm starting to cry. He finds me weeping He shouts ugly words, He says its my fault That he suffers at work. He slaps me and hits me And yells at me more,I finally get free And I run for the door. He's already locked it And I start to bawl, He takes me and throws me Against the hard wall. I fall to the floor With my bones nearly broken, And my daddy continues With more bad words spoken. "I'm sorry!", I scream But its now much too late His face has been twisted Into unimaginable hate. The hurt and the pain Again and again Oh please God, have mercy! Oh please let it end! And he finally stops And heads for the door, While I lay there motionless Sprawled on the floor. My name is Sarah And I am but three, Tonight my daddy Murdered me.


please, add this to your page, so to help stop child abuse! thanks