Loud Enough• Show poetry

 

 

 

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92% of American teens today would die if Abercrombie & Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. If you're part of the 8% that would be laughing their butts off, put this in your profile.

 

 

 

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs rpsoet it.

 

 

 

1. why do they use steralized needles for death by lethal injection?

 

3. why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

 

4. why do people run over a string a dozen times with a vaccuum, reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vaccuum one more chance?

 

5. when we're in a supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart and apologizes, why do we say "that's alright"? well it's not alright, so why don't we say "that hurt you stupid idiot!?"

 

6. why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something falling off a table, you always manage to knock over something else?

 

7. why does someone believe you when you say there are 4 billion stars, but they check when you say the paint is wet?

 

8. why doesn't tarzan have a beard?

 

9. why do we press harder on the button of a remote when we know the batteries are dying?

 

10. why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?

 

11. how do those bugs get into enclosed light fixtures?

 

12. why do people constantly return to the refrigerator, hoping something new has materialized?

 

13. why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

 

14. why isn't there a number two?

 

 

 

Deep Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Way Too Seriously:

 

1. Save the whales....... Collect the whole set.

 

2. A day without sunshine is like . . Night.

 

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers,

 

4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

 

5. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

 

6. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

 

7. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

 

8. A horse will go to water, but a pencil must be lead.

 

9. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese, in the trap.

 

10. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

 

11. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

 

12. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

 

13. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

 

14. How many of you believe in psychokinesis? Raise my hand.

 

15. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

 

16. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

 

17. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

 

18. Every one has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.

 

19. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

 

20. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

 

21. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

 

22. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

 

23. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

 

24. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

 

25. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

 

26. Life isn't like a box of chocolates . . . it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn you tomorrow.

 

 

Things to Ponder

 

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.

 

 

2. Money will buy a fine dog, but only kindness will make him wag his tail.

 

 

3. If you don't have a sense of humor, you probably don't have any sense at all.

 

 

4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.

 

 

5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

 

 

6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

 

 

7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.

 

 

8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else looks?

 

 

9. Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.

 

 

10. No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.

 

 

11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.

 

 

12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 AM. - Like this: It could be a right number.

 

 

13. No one ever says "It's only a game." when their team is winning.

 

 

14. I've reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.

 

 

15. Be careful reading the fine print. There's no way you're going to like it. ]

 

 

16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size bucket.

 

 

17. Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos?

 

(And rap music will be the Golden Oldies ! )

 

 

18. Money can't buy happiness -- but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than in a Yugo.

 

 

19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead!

 

 

20. Always be yourself. Because the people that matter, dont mind. And the one's that mind, don't matter.