Let.Me.Be.Dreaming• Show poetry

Hey, whats up? It's Courtney...
I'm not preppy or stuck up or a jerk or a poser. I'm not a whore or religious or emo or a snob. I'm not overweight or anorexic or a punk or naive. I'm not smart or pretty or unusual or a drug-dealer. I'm not rude or ugly or a tomboy or rich. I'm not ditzy or dorky or snarky or psycho. I'm not looking for attention. I'm not anything special or anything other than just... me. And that's all you need to know. Not my favorite color or how old I am or my best friend I love. You don't need to know any of it. Except this is me. I am here. Do you love me, hate me, don't really know me? It's still me standing here laughing at you for judging me at the end of the day.

I'm tired of all the drama people bring, yet I bring it myself. I'm tired of people who criticize and judge people, yet at the end of the day I'm ashamed to admit I have committed this too. I know stars don't hold enough magic to make my wishes come true, yet I wish anyway. I say I'm giving up on love and so I date guys, still subconsciously looking for love anyway. I say I'm crazy and maybe I am, but there are worst cases. I say I care about the poor and the needy, yet I don't give enough. I say that I hate someone when really I just can't tell them I love them. I say that I'm your friend, yet I still have that instinct to observe you critically. I say I'm sorry but it's never enough. I'M NEVER ENOUGH. I NEVER WILL BE ENOUGH IN THIS WORLD. And this is the girl I really am. I'm still not emo or a poser, but I'm not perfect either. And I don't try to be. I guess somewhere deep inside, a part of me knows that I'm just another hypocritical teenager who is trying to figure out the world and her place in it. What about you??

I’m not a bitch . . . I just like being rude.
I'm not a sinner . . .I just cant do anything right.
I'm not depressed . . I'm just always sad.
I'm not crying . . .My eyes are just full of tears.
I’m not living . . .I just keep breathing.
I'm not a thief . . .I just take what I need.
I'm not a slut . . .I just embrace my sexuality.
I'm not stupid . . .I just don’t get it.
I’m not trying . . .I’ve already given up.
I'm not weird . . . I'm just different.
I'm not a rebel . . .I just don’t take orders.
I'm not worthless . . .I just don’t know my value.
I'm not a believer . . .I’ve already lost hope.
I'm not a fuck up . . .I just make mistakes.
I'm not beautiful . . .Its only skin deep.
I'm not emotional . . .I just have a lot of feelings.
I'm not a cutter . . .I just found a way to get rid of pain.
I'm not immature . . .I'm just growing up.
I'm not a quitter . . .I just stop and re-think.
I'm not laughing . . .I need to smile first.+.
I'm not impulsive . . .I just act before I think.
I'm not obsessed . . .I'm just in love.
I'm not perfect . . .I don’t want to be.
I'm not ignoring . . .I just choose not to listen.
I'm not a gossip . . .I have my own life.
I'm not pessimistic . . .I just don’t get my hopes up.
I'm not impatient . . .I just don’t like to wait.
I'm not happy . . .I do have sparks of joy.
I'm not tough . . .I just don’t take shit.
I'm not clingy . . .I just wanna be held.
I'm not opinionated . . .I just voice what I think.
I'm not questioning . . .I just have my doubts.
I'm not hiding . . .I just want to disappear.

Dakota is my bestest friend in the world. He probably doesn't know though. He's been mad at me lately but I have been holding my breath, waiting for him to be himself again. He won't let me help him work things out and I guess that's the problem. The more I try to shove my way back into his life, the more he shuts me out. So I'm stuck here, waiting for him to make the decision. I hope me and him will stay friends. How could he just corrupt such a friendship we've had for God knows how long. I miss him, my best friend. I miss spending time with him, laughing, smiling, enjoying the moment. I just miss him... "<)
/_|_\

Relationships:
(x) I've had someone cheat on me.
( ) I've gone on a blind date.
( ) I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
(x) I miss someone right now.
() have a fear of commitment.
(x) I have a fear of abandonment.
() I've cheated in a relationship.
(x) I've been the cheatee ( if that means that you were the person some cheated on their gf/bf with )
( ) I've gotten divorced
(x) I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
(x) I've told someone I loved them
(x) I've kept something from a past relationship.


Sexuality:
() I've had a crush on someone of the same sex
() I've had a crush on a teacher.
(x) I am a cuddler.
(x) I love to flirt.
(x) I've been kissed in the rain.
(x) I've hugged a stranger.
(x) have kissed a stranger.
() I've been kissed under the mistletoe

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile

Without Warning...


Sometimes...

...you're traveling

...a highway, the only road

...you've ever known

...and wham! A semi

...comes from nowhere

...and rolls right over you.

Sometimes...

...you don't wake up.

...But if you happen

...to, you know things

...will never be

...the same.

Sometimes...

...that's not

...so bad.

Sometimes...

...lives intersect,

...no rhyme, no reason,

...except, perhaps,

...for a passing semi.


♀ + ♂ = Love
♀ + ♀ = Love
♂ + ♂ = Love

I may not be gay, I may not be bi, but that doesn't mean people should get discriminated because they love someone of the same gender.

I'm sorry

Im sorry if I don't meet your standards
I'm sorry if I'm not a bitch
I'm sorry if my boobs aren't big enough to "satisfy" your needs.
I'm sorry if I'm not skinny enough for you to see my ribs
I'm sorry if I'm not pretty enough to be "your girl".
I'm sorry if I'm not tanned enough for you
I'm sorry if I'm not a playboy model so I can't act like a porn star for you.
I'm sorry if I'm weird
I'm sorry that I write about you every day
I'm sorry if i don't have a dream body that turns you on.
I'm sorry if im not tall enough.
I'm sorry if I don't have sex with you on the first date.
I'm sorry if I'm annoying
I'm sorry if my hair is not long enough.
I'm sorry that im different from those other girls
I'm sorry i won't hang all over you, and be a complete tramp to make you happy.
I'm sorry that I actually care about you
and actually call to see how you're doing.

But most of all...

I'm sorry that most guys can't accept a girl for who they really are.
If you're a girl and you agree with this letter, repost as "I'm sorry".
If you're one of the FEW GUYS with enough balls to repost and you would never make your girl feel this way, repost as "I love you just the way you are

Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline.

* If you are an obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
* If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
* If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
* If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want; stay on the line while we trace your call.
* If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship.
* If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
* If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
* If you are dyslexic, press 969696961001
* If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
* If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
* If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
* If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep. Or after the beep. Or before the beep. Please wait for the beep.
* If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
* If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are far too busy to talk to you.

~"So hold your head high gorgeous,
People would kill to see you fall,
In the dead of the night they can’t hear you screaming
You swear revenge, against them all."

~Look closely at me and you will see, the girl I am...isn't me.

~I wake up and think dreams are real. I sleep so I don't have to feel.

~Cause fucking up takes practice, and I feel I'm well rehearsed.

~ I didn't want to admit it. It was easier to lie. Hide the hurt and emptiness to smile instead of cry.