- Last seen on Dec 18 10:33 AM 2007. Member since July 15, 2007.
- I'm a topaz horse poet for 17 comments.
- I am a 18 year old man (United Kingdom)
- When I'm not writing, I'm Researcher and Promoter for Trojan Headhunters/Temporal Employment.
- I have 17 comments, 6 poems
Poems I'm focused on
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Was a stereotype on two-legs
Lurching towards where I sat22 lines, 1 comment, August 4, 2007. In Family/Humour/Personal -
Rain / I translate the constancy of that grey shower: / Chain gun of the heavans attacks water-logged / Earth, than window with it's moist spears. / Outside is all chaos, this room is an island, where I /26 lines, 9 comments, July 16, 2007. In Nature/Inspirational.
My Poetry
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When I was born Mother must have forgot10 lines, 1 comment, October 25, 2007. In Thoughts
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I translate the constancy of that grey shower: Chain gun of the heavans attacks water-logged23 lines, 1 comment, October 21, 2007
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Cluttered pretensions stack this shelf Dust-decked and yellowed and edges torn13 lines, 1 comment, October 21, 2007
Guest Book
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Star-of-David on July 20, 2007The metaphor I used to describe the battlefield, 'the slaying field' and the subsequent metaphor 'burn with a deathly glow' are not meant to paint the image of just dead bodies ; it's also supposed to mean that there is complete chaos and carnage all around, things on fire (hence 'burn'). I'm trying to get across the brutality of ruthless fighting with dated warfare, show the battlefield hath no mercy for it's participants. I know what you mean about the metaphor and wording, but i'm trying to convey a diffent message. Thanks for the advice though.
And the other poem.....I need to shorten it, but I just can't keep bits out. I;ll give it a go now, seeing as I have sweet fa to do today other than buy the new Harry Potter book.
Thanks for the feedback
