Kitty Forlorn• Show poetry

To all friends I love, care about, and to anyone who cares...I wanted to tell you something.
I have been away a long time...downtime recovering from too many things to name, talk about...and it does not entirely matter right now. The fact is, I am in very low gear, on a long healing journey, and conserving what little there is for basically two people right now...myself, and more importantly, my son.
Sometimes our journey takes us outward, and sometimes inward. My journey is inward right now, to facilitate great changes, great healing, and to a better place. I have not forgotten my friends here, nor the people that matter to me. Fact is, when I am stronger...I have helped so many people so much...that there remains nothing left for me and I burn myself out. Not that I ever regret this or do not love it --I do. It is soulfood for me. Giving of myself to others is such a big part of what gives life to my heart. But there comes a time when you have to close off for awhile for repairs, until you can come back even stronger.

A friend of mine recently wrote something on a message board that touched me deeply that I wish to share. It speaks of where I am and what I am meaning. It gives a good idea of where I am at. I want to share it with you so you truly understand.

I have not forgotten anyone...people leave such imprints on my soul. I love this community and the wonderful people herein. But those who truly care will understand and forgive, and perhaps be glad that when I am back to a place where I love to share, that I am stronger and have something of value to give. So, lets just say I am out for repairs, but friends are loved and not forgotten. You may email me if you ever want to stay in touch, which I can do on occasion. kim_t@yahoo.com 

Meantime, here is that post which will say what I cannot, with beauty and love:

The Journey
------------------

I have been reading the posts here, and have been receiving emails from a number of loved ones who are in such emotional pain that even the thought of getting up in the morning is monumental and feels impossible. I prayed deeply for all, and in the quiet, I saw some things I want to share with you.

We are walking the human journey at a time of major transition for all living things. I include Mother Earth in the category of sentient, living beings. Many of us were born sensitive as we agreed to come at this time in the Universal evolution, to add our sensitivity and our ability to love and our desire to give service to the world in our unique ways. As sensitive beings, we are also very vulnerable and open to take on the suffering and pain of all who are wounded and all who suffer. We also began to understand that through the suffering, comes compassion, and many of us chose to suffer to learn so we might offer comfort and solace to others.

When we are walking in the Dark Night of the Soul, though, we must put our blinders on and attend to ourselves, through communion with God (Higher Power/Spirit/Allah, etc), in a way we've never done before. Our hearts and spirits feel empty...and in this emptiness, we call out to God in a new way. Sometimes that means asking for help in a way we've never done before, and learning to trust that we will be heard. Sometimes it means admitting that we can't be there for another in those times, because the little energy we have is needed to save our own lives. And sometimes we crawl into the cave of solitude and stay there for a while, and in the alone-ness, we begin to listen to God speak....and new understanding and hope emerge.

I encourage all who are in such deep despair and pain to try to let go of the guilt you carry about asking for help; to shed old ideas that you must give something the moment you receive something; that you let go of fear of your feelings, and allow them to be your teachers; to show you the ways you were wounded; all the spaces within where you hold rage, shame, guilt, envy, anger, grief, pain, longing, fear. Sometimes the only thing you can do is go into the darkness, face it, and love it into healing. Under those layers of pain, wrapped in the most delicate tissue paper, are your abilities to feel joy, connection, love, and your desire to give in service. It just takes time to get to those protected layers. Old baggage, old thoughts about yourself, self-limiting ideas and statements need to go, in your own time and way.

I found a poem that touched me to the core when I was deep within my healing time....the agony and the ecstasy of the journey called life. I share it with you, with deep love, and respect for each of you, and wherever you happen to be on your own path. We walk together, and yet none can take our journey for us or from us. Know you are not alone, dear ones. Go into the place within you that cries for freedom and love yourself abundantly into healing and new hope for life.

I love you,
Lynne


The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save.

~ Mary Oliver ~
(Dream Work)



Thank you to all those who have left messages for me and who still care. What my words cannot say, my heart feels abundantly...and you are not forgotten. Think of me as being on a journey, and while on the plane...I need to put my own mask on first, before I can put it on another. Let us just say, see you soon.

Oh, and please keep praying for Sue (see below)...this incredible woman needs your prayers now more than ever...her pain runs deeper than anyone can imagine.

All My Love,
Kim (Kitty)


































































 PLEASE  take a moment to visit these seven links, to offer your support, love, and condolences for Suzeecue(Sue). Her sixteen year old daughter passed this past year.
~~I love you Sue...always..through darkness or light, bad or good, for life!  

The links:

allpoetry.com/Poem/1552720
allpoetry.com/Add_line/1553066

A poem I wrote personally, for Sue and her daughter:
allpoetry.com/Poem/1553749

A contest that was in her and her daughter's honor:
allpoetry.com/Contest/1552991

And Suzeecue's page:
allpoetry.com/poets/suzeecue

And her own beautiful poem she wrote about losing her daughter:

allpoetry.com/Poem/1679476
--very heartfelt ...please read!!

   And also the memorial website for Sue's daughter, Nikki...where virtual candles can be lit, and condolences/prayers can be written and left:
nicole-vance.memory-of.com