Just Mandiiee Now..• Show poetry

"Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never lose."

You will learn how to help yourself.
It will break your heart, and it will make you strong.

I’ve been thinking a lot about who I will be in 5 years.
What I will look like, what I will want - what I want will be so different, or perhaps it wont. Maybe we never really change. Maybe we just grow.

I want to remember everything I think about, everything that happens, and everything that is said. No matter how small, and no matter how stupid. Even if it’s bad, and even if it makes me cry. Very few people notice how important everything is, especially the small things. Everything makes me feel something. Maybe because that’s all I know how to do, is feel. I’m moved by everything. No matter how sad I am, or angry I am, I am in love with the good in the world, and I’m in love with the good in people in the world. Everyone is moveable, everything is beautiful.

"Everything is up in the air."
"Do you feel like you’re flying?"
"Only sometimes."

I find it so funny sometimes when I write about who I am, or maybe I should say who I think I am, because I’m never quite sure. I don’t know what I want, and that is such a huge factor of who you are. Sometimes I just want to rip off all of my skin and see what lies beneath. Most days I am convinced I would find flower petals and jars with strings attatched that read "I love you." filled with floating hearts and the sounds of the sweetest love songs. But other days I am afraid I would only find air, negative space, and those beautiful jars might only be marked with poison and those hearts which I would love so much to find might be broken and floating in tears. So all I try to do is find a balance between the girl I once was and the one I am slowly becoming.

I want to write on large pieces of paper all of the things I say, and all of the adjectives I’ve used to describe myself and rip them up and throw them out the window. I am not words. I am not sentences. I am not objective. I am not still. I am not linear. And neither are you.


"All things appear and disappear because of the concurrence of causes and conditions. Nothing ever exists entirely alone; everything is in relation to everything else." -Buddha