JeremyWilliams• Show poetry

Hey my name is jeremy Im 17 Im proudly from Barrington in shelburne county nova scotia. I like to play the guitar and sing country music. ive recently changed my ways of thinking, because of events that tool over my life in the last little while. im no longer the boy i was. i still love my comedy and joking around, but i have learned that life is not a joke. And to accept my problems for what they are. thanks to this realization i hope i can live a better life.

My Newest Motto is Live life to the fullest, and i intend on doing that.



Id like to say goodbye and Rest In Peace to a best friend and former singer Gerry Tupper. Thanks for the good times.





Women Are A Lot Like Chainsaws They Might Work Fine But Every Once In A While They Need A Good Rub-Stanley Atwood/Jeremy Williams 2009



Women Are Like Deisel Engines It Takes Them A While To Warm Up But When They Do They Can Go For A LONNNNNNNNNNNNNNG Time-Jeff Foxworthy

Men Are More Like A bottle Rocket,You Shake Them Up a Bit They Pop Oooooooooo Ahhhhhhhhh Then Its Over-Jeff Foxworthy











I ACTUALLY LIKE GIVING YOU A BLOWJOB...ITS FUN-Anonymous




I THINK I LOVEE YOU-Alicia Donovan





God made man before woman to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.


Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die-Mel Brooks

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped

Girls are like phones. They love to be held, talked too but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

There are no stupid questions, just stupid people


The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else.


if i has to choose between loving you, and breathing. I would use my last breath to say I LOVE YOU.


Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing


A woman is like a horse, she needs to know that she is being riden firm and strong.


Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Others stay awhile, make footprints on our hearts and we are never, ever the same.



To often, we lose sight of lifes simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch-slap that mother.... upside the head. Pass it on...


Gravity is not to blame for two people falling in love.





Quotes By My Musical Hero


“Success is having to worry about every damn thing in the world, except money.”-Johnny Cash


“You've got to know your limitations. I don't know what your limitations are. I found out what mine were when I was twelve. I found out that there weren't too many limitations, if I did it my way.”-Johnny Cash



“Because you're mine/ I walk the line.”-Johnny Cash


“I love songs about horses, railroads, land, Judgment Day, family, hard times, whiskey, courtship, marriage, adultery, separation, murder, war, prison, rambling, damnation, home, salvation, death, pride, humor, piety, rebellion, patriotism, larceny, determination, tragedy, rowdiness, heartbreak and love. And Mother. And God.”-Johnny Cash

“When I get an idea for a song it would gel in my mind for weeks or months, and then one day just like that, I'll write it.”-Johnny Cash

“After about three lessons the voice teacher said, "Don't take voice lessons. Do it your way."-Johnny Cash

“Welcome to New York, now go the fuck home.”-Johnny Cash

“When I record somebody else's song, I have to make it my own or it doesn't feel right. I'll say to myself, I wrote this and he doesn't know it!”-Johnny Cash

“Sometimes I am two people. Johnny is the nice one. Cash causes all the trouble. They fight.”-Johnny Cash





























I LOVE YOU ALICIA







Here is the best song ever writtin

Trailer Park Boys
Liquor And Whores lyrics

Liquor and whores
Liquor and whores
Cigarettes and dope and mustard and bologna and
Liquor and whores

I went down
Drinkin' at the Legion
I met a girl she was nice
She was pretty and pleasing

She said "Hey boy
We should do some marrying"
I said sure but before we do
There's something you should know

I like
Liquor and whores
Liquor and whores
Cigarettes and dope and mustard and bologna and
Liquor and whores...
By: Bubbles

Some of the great things the Trailer Park Boys have said:

Mr. Lahey: Why don't you get a life Rick? Why don't ya go to community college like Julian here. Hey, I got a good idea. You could teach, livin' in a car and growin' dope 101.

Ricky: You can't tell me to stop growing weed. It's like telling the NWA to stop being black.


Ricky: Fuck, I miss jail.

Cory: J-Roc raps about gangsters & guns, pimps & hos and Compton. The guy's not from Compton, he's just a white kid from a trailer park. He should rap about what he really knows which is living in his mom's trailer eating peanut butter sandwiches.

Ricky: God damnit Trinity, you can't smoke with the patch on.
Trinity: Well you're smoking with the patch on.
Ricky: Yeah, well Daddy's much bigger then you are so he can.

Ricky: Knock-knock, Lahey.
Mr. Lahey: Who's there, Ricky?
Ricky: A fuckin' shitty fuckin' trailer park supervisor who hangs around with a big-gutted drunk elf who thinks he's gettin' us thrown back in jail but he can't 'cause he's got no evidence and he's dumb as fuck, and he's got this other thing goin' on in his head that's tryin' to... twirly around and... fuckin' get... different... FUCK

Bubbles: Hal-Uh-Peno, not galapeno.


Ricky: Fuck this court. Fuck Jim Lahey. Fuck Randy. Fuck those two idiot cops right there. Fuck suit dummies; as a matter of fact fuck legal aid. Fuck Danny and Terry's Buffalo Chicken Wings. Fuck all the old wood in here. Fuck the moon, fuck corn on the cob, fuck squirrels. Fuck me, fuck you, fuck everything!

Bubbles: [terrified & being chased by a police chopper] THERES A HELLACOCKSUCKER BEHIND US!

Bubbles: Chicken and bangin'. That's nice...

Hope You had some laughs













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...../_==o;;;;;;;;_______.:/
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___//
.//___//
If you would jump in front of a bullet for your girlfriend, boyfriend,
ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriend, best friend, family member, or just a
person you love, post this onto your page.














---------♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪♪----- Put
---------♪----------♪-----this
---------♪----------♪------musical
---------♪----------♪------note
---------♪----------♪------on your
-------♪♪♪-------♪♪♪------page if
-------♪♪♪-------♪♪♪------you love
------------------------- music





































Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway

I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar


When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.


Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson

Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson

You laugh because I'm different...........
I laugh cause I just farted! (for u ali)

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'








♥_♥_♥___♥_♥_ Put this
♥___♥_♥___♥ heart
_♥___♥___♥_ on your
__♥_____♥__ page if
___♥___♥___ you love
____♥_♥____ someone
_____♥_____ very much










Jokes To Lighten Up Your Day(some Adult Content)

there once was a boy named harry humper faster, his dad was the principal of his high school. well one day his dad was in a teachers meeting and his father had took him to the school with him. after harry and his dad got to the school harry said"dad im goin to look around the school until you are done". so harry's dad said ok. harry then went looking for his hot blonde teacher. she was in the teachers lounge.

harry said "hi teacher can you do something for me?"

she said "sure harry what can i do?"

harry said" can you take off your shoes?"

she said "sure harry"

he said "can u take off your shirt?"

she said "no harry"

he said"i wont give you anymore cookies"

she said, "Fine harry" and took off her shirt

She then said, "Can you take off your pants?"

She said, "No not at all"

He said, "I wont sell u no more cookies"

She said, "I dont want any cookies"

He said, "I will tell my daddy on you"

She said, "Fine then" and took off her pants

He said, "Can you take off the rest of your clothes?"

She said, " HELL NO"

He said, "I will tell my daddy on you"

She said, "Fine but this is the last thing", then got completely naked

Harry then took off all of his clothes, pushed his teacher on the couch, and started fucking her rapidly.

At this time Harry's Dad walked in and said "HARRY HUMPER FASTER!"

Harry said, "OK daddy"

The Dad said again, "HARRY HUMPER FASTER!"

Harry said, "OK DADDY!"

The Dad repeated himself again, "HAARRRYYY HUMMMPPPEERRRR FFFAAASSSTTEERR!!!!!"

Harry then said, "Shut the hell up dad I can't hump her any faster"


It's after Chrismas and little Johnny is on his bike. He passes a cop, who is riding a horse. The cops asks, "Little Johnny, did Santa get you that bike?" "Yes," says Little Johnny. The cops says, "Well next time tell Santa to put a liscense plate on the bike. I'm going to have to give you a ticket." Little Johhny asks, "Cop, did Santa get you that Horse?" "Yes," replies the cop. Little Johhny says, "Well next time tell Santa to put the dick on the bottom of the horse and not the top."



A guy goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The girl behind the counter says, "What size?"
He says, "I don't know."
She holds up a finger and says, "That big?"
He says, "Bigger."
She holds up three fingers and says, "That big?"
He says, "Smaller?"
She holds up two fingers and he says, "That's it."
She puts the two fingers in her mouth and says, "Medium."





There were these two best friends out playing golf one beautiful day. After hitting their tee shots, both noticed that neither was even close to the fairway. One friend hit it way left, the other way right.

They decided that since the shots were so bad, they'd just meet up at the hole.

So the first guy went off and looked and looked and finally found his ball sitting down deep in a field of beautiful Buttercups. He promptly pulled out his 7 iron and started whacking away. Buttercups were flying everywhere, but the ball wouldn't come out.

Well, finally Mother Nature got mad.

She came up from the ground and said to the man, "I've created this beautiful field of Buttercups and you have no respect for them at all, now they are ruined. I'm going to have to punish you. Since these are Buttercups, your punishment is that you cannot have butter for a year."

The man started to laugh and went back to whacking at the Buttercups.

Mother Nature said, "Hey, this is no laughing matter. What do you find so funny?"

The man looked up and said, "My buddy is over on the other side in the Pussywillows



Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his chop and starts masturbating.

The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the fuck is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".

The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm cumming!"

Thank U To http://www.jokesforum.com/adult-jokes/15776-construction-dumbass.html

LMAO More Soon





















































Tell Lori I Love Her
Keith Whitly

If I were alone in the desert
Without a drink of water around
On my knees and hands in that white scorching sand
With the hot Sahara sun beating down.

If I could be granted my wishes
If anything I wanted would come true
I know it might sound funny
But here's what I want you to do.

[chorus]
Tell Lori I love her
Tell Lori I need her
Tell her everything would be okay if I could just see her
Tell Lori I love her
Tell Lori I need her
And if I leave this old world tell her she's the only girl for me.

If I were adrift on the ocean
A vessel with no sails or steam
Floating aimlessly on an endless sea,
Hopelessly lost it would seem
If all of the fish in the water
Could echo my last dying plea
Well I know you might not understand it
Here's what I want it to be.

[chorus]

And if I leave this old world tell her she's the only girl for me.













All I Ever Needed

There you lay and here I stand
He knelt down on his knees and took her by the hand
We seen some good times been through some bad
But somewhere between the laughter and the tears
We sure had a lot of great years, she said

We didn't need fortune didn't need fame
Just a little shelter from the rain
Your hand to hold onto, when times got tough you pulled me through
We didn't need a castle made of stone
Just you there as I grow old
Your heart to hold onto
All I ever needed was you
Was you.

Remember our first dance, our first kiss
I pictured my life with you to be just like this
You stood by me, I stand by you
We share the laughter joy and pain
But it's a moment like this I hope it never ends

(chorus)
We didn't need fortune didn't need fame
Just a little shelter from the rain
Your hand to hold onto, when times got tough you pulled me through
We didn't need a castle made of stone, just you there as i grow old
Your heart to hold onto,
All I ever needed was you
Share my life with you, girl

I thank you for sharing your life with me
For giving me a reason to believe
For loving me for who i am

(chorus)
We didn't need fortune didn't need fame
Just a little shelter from the rain
Your hand to hold onto, when times got tough you pulled me through
We didn't need a castle made of stone, just you there as I grow old
Your heart to hold onto,
All I ever needed
All I ever needed was you

You’re all I ever needed.














Girl: Do I ever cross your mind
Boy: No
Girl: Do you like me?
Boy: No
Girl: Do you want me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you cry if I left?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you live for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Would you do anything for me?
Boy: No
Girl: Choose— me or your life
Boy: My life
The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...
The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.
The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.
The reason I don't want you is because I need you.
The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.
The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.
The reason why I'm not willing to do anything for you is because I would do everything for you.
The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life