I'm an old married man, and I've been writing comical poems, songs, and short stories for approximately ten years. I'm the father to five great dogs, named Logan, Murphy, Murphina, Szievesen, and Tashie. I currently work in the restaurant industry.
I make parodies of songs, write short stories and serious and comical poetry, and I'm looking for an honest opinion of my work.
My favorite TV shows are ER, Survivor, Medium, Wanted, The Shield, Nip/Tuck, Rescue Me, And Boston Legal. "Denny Crane"
My favorite Movies are The Godfather, The Last of the Mohicans, Clockwork Orange, Full Metal Jacket, Dances with Wolves, Braveheart, Princess Bride, and Eyes Wide Shut.
My favorite musical artists are Led Zepplin, Audioslave, Stone Temple Pilots, Tori Amos, Alanis Morissett, Tracy Chapman,
Elton John and Sade.
Everyone loves a dildo
(sing to tune of "It's Slinky")
What rolls down stairs?
Alone or in pairs
And makes a buzzity sound
It's long a schlong
A marvellous dong
Everyone knows it's Dildo
What fits in a sock?
Feels better than cock
And unlike a man, it's slow
It vibrates a bit
Feels great on your clit
Everyone knows it's Dildo
It's Dildo! It's Dildo!
It's big, it's fleshy, it's ribbed
It's Dildo! It's Dildo!
Yes, that's right it is ribbed.
What fits in your crack?
Some even have sacks
The penis you don't have to blow
They're not just for gays
They use double A's
Everyone knows it's Dildo
A Dildo dog
A Dildo plane
Many more vibrating toys
You turn the knob
They buzz and throb
Feels great in girls and boys.
What makes you cum?
And fits in your bum
Some of them even can glow
A dink a dink
In marvellous pink
Everyone knows it's Dildo
A long fleshy tube
Use an oil-based lube
Not just for neighborhood ho's
For the girl on the go
With no time for a beau
It makes for a perfect fellow
They're Dildos! They're Dildos!
The sex toys that everyone likes
They're Dildos! They're Dildos!
For gay men and even for dykes.
Lazy Sunday - Lyrics
Lazy Sunday, Wake in the late afternoon
Call Parnell just to see how he's doin'
Hello? What up Parn? Yo, Samburg what's crackin'?
You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? NARNIA-man it's happ'nin'
But first my hunger pangs I'll stick it like duct tape
We'll hit up Magnolia And mac on some cupcakes
No doubt, that bakery's got all the bomb frostings
I love those cupcakes like McAdams loves Gosling
Two no six no twelve - baker's dozen!
I told you that I'm crazy for these cup-cakes cousin
Yo where's the movie playing? Upper West Side dude.
Well let's hit up Yahoo Maps to find the dopest route.
I prefer Mapquest. That's a good one too!
Google maps is the best. True dat, double true!
68th and broadway, step on it sucka!
What ya wanna do Chris? Snack attack, motha-fucka!
The Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
Yes, the Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
We love that Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
Pass that Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
Yo stop at the deli, the theater's over-priced,
you got the backpack, gonna pack it up nice,
don't want security to get suspicious,
Mr. Pibb and Red Vines equals crazy delicious!
I reach in my pocket, pull out some dough,
girl acted like she never seen a 10 befo'
It's all about the Hamilton's baby!
Throw the snacks in a bag, and I'm ghost like Swayze.
Roll up to the theater, ticket-buyin what we're handling,
you can call us Aaron Burr, from the way we're dropping Hamiltons,
Parked in our seats, movie trivia's the illest
What friends alum starred with Bruce Willis?
We answer so fast, it was scary
Everyone stared in awe when we screamed Matthew Perry
Yo quiet in the theatre or it's gonna get tragic
We 'bout to get taken to a dream world of magic
In the Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
Yes, the Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
We love that Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
Pass that Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
Tiny Dancer
Music by Elton John
Lyrics by Bernie Taupin
Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand
Jesus freaks out in the street
Handing tickets out for God
Turning back she just laughs
The boulevard is not that bad
Piano man he makes his stand
In the auditorium
Looking on she sings the songs
The words she knows, the tune she hums
But oh how it feels so real
Lying here with no one near
Only you and you can't hear me
When I say softly, slowly
Hold me closer tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
you had a busy day today
Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand.
Rosie Rosie, rest in peace; daddy loves you.
I miss playing chess with my dad.
I make parodies of songs, write short stories and serious and comical poetry, and I'm looking for an honest opinion of my work.
My favorite TV shows are ER, Survivor, Medium, Wanted, The Shield, Nip/Tuck, Rescue Me, And Boston Legal. "Denny Crane"
My favorite Movies are The Godfather, The Last of the Mohicans, Clockwork Orange, Full Metal Jacket, Dances with Wolves, Braveheart, Princess Bride, and Eyes Wide Shut.
My favorite musical artists are Led Zepplin, Audioslave, Stone Temple Pilots, Tori Amos, Alanis Morissett, Tracy Chapman,
Elton John and Sade.
Everyone loves a dildo
(sing to tune of "It's Slinky")
What rolls down stairs?
Alone or in pairs
And makes a buzzity sound
It's long a schlong
A marvellous dong
Everyone knows it's Dildo
What fits in a sock?
Feels better than cock
And unlike a man, it's slow
It vibrates a bit
Feels great on your clit
Everyone knows it's Dildo
It's Dildo! It's Dildo!
It's big, it's fleshy, it's ribbed
It's Dildo! It's Dildo!
Yes, that's right it is ribbed.
What fits in your crack?
Some even have sacks
The penis you don't have to blow
They're not just for gays
They use double A's
Everyone knows it's Dildo
A Dildo dog
A Dildo plane
Many more vibrating toys
You turn the knob
They buzz and throb
Feels great in girls and boys.
What makes you cum?
And fits in your bum
Some of them even can glow
A dink a dink
In marvellous pink
Everyone knows it's Dildo
A long fleshy tube
Use an oil-based lube
Not just for neighborhood ho's
For the girl on the go
With no time for a beau
It makes for a perfect fellow
They're Dildos! They're Dildos!
The sex toys that everyone likes
They're Dildos! They're Dildos!
For gay men and even for dykes.
Lazy Sunday - Lyrics
Lazy Sunday, Wake in the late afternoon
Call Parnell just to see how he's doin'
Hello? What up Parn? Yo, Samburg what's crackin'?
You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? NARNIA-man it's happ'nin'
But first my hunger pangs I'll stick it like duct tape
We'll hit up Magnolia And mac on some cupcakes
No doubt, that bakery's got all the bomb frostings
I love those cupcakes like McAdams loves Gosling
Two no six no twelve - baker's dozen!
I told you that I'm crazy for these cup-cakes cousin
Yo where's the movie playing? Upper West Side dude.
Well let's hit up Yahoo Maps to find the dopest route.
I prefer Mapquest. That's a good one too!
Google maps is the best. True dat, double true!
68th and broadway, step on it sucka!
What ya wanna do Chris? Snack attack, motha-fucka!
The Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
Yes, the Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
We love that Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
Pass that Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
Yo stop at the deli, the theater's over-priced,
you got the backpack, gonna pack it up nice,
don't want security to get suspicious,
Mr. Pibb and Red Vines equals crazy delicious!
I reach in my pocket, pull out some dough,
girl acted like she never seen a 10 befo'
It's all about the Hamilton's baby!
Throw the snacks in a bag, and I'm ghost like Swayze.
Roll up to the theater, ticket-buyin what we're handling,
you can call us Aaron Burr, from the way we're dropping Hamiltons,
Parked in our seats, movie trivia's the illest
What friends alum starred with Bruce Willis?
We answer so fast, it was scary
Everyone stared in awe when we screamed Matthew Perry
Yo quiet in the theatre or it's gonna get tragic
We 'bout to get taken to a dream world of magic
In the Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
Yes, the Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
We love that Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
Pass that Chronic-what?-cles of Narnia!
Tiny Dancer
Music by Elton John
Lyrics by Bernie Taupin
Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand
Jesus freaks out in the street
Handing tickets out for God
Turning back she just laughs
The boulevard is not that bad
Piano man he makes his stand
In the auditorium
Looking on she sings the songs
The words she knows, the tune she hums
But oh how it feels so real
Lying here with no one near
Only you and you can't hear me
When I say softly, slowly
Hold me closer tiny dancer
Count the headlights on the highway
Lay me down in sheets of linen
you had a busy day today
Blue jean baby, L.A. lady, seamstress for the band
Pretty eyed, pirate smile, you'll marry a music man
Ballerina, you must have seen her dancing in the sand
And now she's in me, always with me, tiny dancer in my hand.
Rosie Rosie, rest in peace; daddy loves you.
I miss playing chess with my dad.
- Last seen on Oct 16 4:04 PM. Member since March 10, 2005.
- I'm a obsidian idea poet for 652 comments.
- My mood is , and quote is "I hate organized religion.".
- I am a guy (Hungary)
- When I'm not writing, I'm a Restaurant General Manager.
- I have 652 comments, 3 contests, 122 poems, 10 stories
My Poetry
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SHOUT A PARODY : tears-for-fears-song44 lines, October 9. In Lyrics
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Squeaky Ball is a game that was invented by Logan, a 5-year old pit bull mix, Tasha, a 3-year old Siberian Husky, and Yup Yup, a 1 1/2 Timber wolf hybrid, who was born on July 13th. / / In order to play Squeaky Ball, you
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33 lines, 2 comments, July 20, 2006. In Humor
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9 lines, July 14, 2006. In Humor
My Stories
1 - 3 of 10
Show all at storywrite
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Yup Yup is a small Siberian husky/wolf hybrid that was born on July 13, 2005. She was the runt in a litter of five. Whether she knew it or not, her life had already
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I sat on her headstone as I drank the blood of a recently decapitated rat. Fog rolled through the cemetery as the warm drops of blood dripped down my throat. It's i1013 lines, 11 comments, November 8, 2005. In <200 lines, Horror
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I held the little girl under water as her body twitched and kicked for freedom. I yanked the back of her hair, pulled her from the water and watched as she gasped for bre305 lines, 5 comments, September 25, 2005. In <200 lines, Science fiction
