Internal.Infection• Show poetry

Hello.

The name's Kaity, bishes.

Don't forget it -- You'll be screaming it later.

Don't like me already? Then, Gtfo. You aren't worthy of reading this sh!t.

Like me? Fine. But don't expect me to like you in return.

I am...

~Intense. 

~Bitchy.

~Rowdy.

~Wild.

~Reckless.

~Private.

~Solitary.

~Strong.

~Passionate.

~Loveable.

~Hateable.

~Patient.

~Loyal.

~Understanding.

~Sarcastic.

~Chaotic.

~Rebellious.

~Untrusting.

~Misfitting.

~Fiesty.

~Realistic.

~Blunt.

~Stubborn.

~Argument Prone.

~Disasterous.

~Confusing.

~Complicated.

~Open-minded.

~Opinionated.

~Honest.

~Deep.

~Grounded.

Poetry is my one release, the only way I can express myself. And, honestly, I don't care if you like it or not. I write solely for myself, not any of you.

I am most definitely not a 'People Person'. I hate most people, for who-knows-why. I enjoy my alone time.

I hatte self-pity. I absolutely Can. Not. Stand. It. Go feel sorry for yourself somewhere else. Everyone has had their share of pain and suffering. Hell, even I have. But, along with that misery, everyone can find an equal amount of happiness. So, don't whine. Get the fck over it.

I believe that regrets are pointless. Things happen. Everyone makes mistakes. Don't put all of your energy into chasing ghosts of the past. Just forgive yourself and move on. The past has passed. What's done, is done. And, at one point, everything you did, was exactly what you wanted. Live in the moment, take whatever life throws at you, and embrace all the privileges you're given, before it all slips away.

I love life. It can be so great. Yet it can also bring you down. It's a roller coaster, unpredictable. And sometimes, when you are handed something that you never expected to be graced with in your wildest dreams, it erases everything that had shred you into bits and pieces, even if only temporarily.

I'm the hurricane that runs through your veins, burrows into your skin. I have a crazy exterior, with a calm center.

♥ I have reason to believe that I have met the love of my life, but only time will tell. Changes are brought about so abruptly, that we wish we had held on tighter. I hope that this love lasts. I don't care if it fades years from now, however, I do care that it will always be present. Nothing lasts forever, but some things can last for what feels like it has been just that long. I can only have faith that this love isn't just another teenaged love story, and that it is true love, which I believe it has grown into during our time together. I've loved before...but never like this. And I hope that he is the first and last. Zack. This is for you. Love you, baby. ♥

~If life is a river, and your heart is a bed, I'm just like a water baby, born to float.~

&&I only wish to be the fountain of love from which you drink, every drop promising eternal passion.

-If you look inside a girl's heart, you would see how much she really cries, you'll find secrets hidden, best friends, and lies. But what you'll see the most is how hard it is to stay strong, when nothing is ever right, and everything is always wrong.-

♥ Love is not how you forget, but how you forgive. Not how you listen, but how you understand. Not what you see, but what you feel. And not how you let go, but how you hold on.

**Though miles may lie between us, we are never far apart, for friendship doesn't count miles -- it's measured by the heart.

I lost myself --

Somewhere after I jumped off the rock and hit the water.

&&I've come to accept that everything happens for a reason, and that is what's going to be my silver lining.

Behind every beautiful thing, there's some kind of pain...

We're meant to lose the people we love -- How else are we supposed to know how important they are?

Sometimes you just have to smile, pretend everything's okay, hold back the tears and just walk away. ♥

*Goodbye is only painful when you know you'll never say hello again...

~Trust me. I know how it feels. I know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower so that no one can hear you. I know what it's like to wait for everyone to fall asleep so you can fall apart. For everything to hurt so bad, you just want it all to end. I know exactly how it feels.~

So wear me like a locket around your throat.

I'll weigh you down.

I'll watch you choke.

You look so good in blue.

&&Why do we sit back and watch the world go by instead of becoming a part of it?

I'm just...me.

&&I'm not changing for anybody. 'Cause I'll only ever change for myself. Take it or leave it. That's how it's going to be, freaks.

__________________________________________________________

Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline.

* If you are an obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
* If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
* If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
* If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want; stay on the line while we trace your call.
* If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mother ship.
* If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
* If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.
* If you are dyslexic, press 969696961001
* If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
* If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's maiden name.
* If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 000.
* If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep. Or after the beep. Or before the beep. Please wait for the beep.
* If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9. If you have short term memory loss, press 9.
* If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our operators are far too busy to talk to you.

~ A shot to kill the pain
A pill to drain the shame
A purge to stop the gain
A cut to break the vein
A smoke to ease the crave
A drink to win the game
An addiction's an addiction
Because it always hurts the same~

Who would've thought
the girl with the biggest smile on her face every day
cried herself to sleep (EVERY) night
because she knew she wasn't good enough?

Cinderella walked on broken glass
Sleeping beauty let a whole lifetime pass
Belle fell in love with a hideous beast
Jasmine married a common thief
Ariel walked on land for love & life
Snow white barely escaped the knife
it was all about blood, sweat, & tears
because love means facing your
BIGGEST FEARS

-----///\\-----Please
----///-\\\----Put This
---|||---|||---On Your
---|||---|||---Account If
---|||---|||---You Know
----\\\-///----Someone
-----\\///-----Who Died Or Is dying
------///\-----Of
-----///\\\----Cancer.
----///--\\\---Thanks for your support!

Tears have come and tears have gone. A strong girl keeps her stuff in line-and with tears running she still manages to make it by. learn from your past, move on, grow stronger, these people are so fake, but let your trust last longer. do what you have to do, but always stay true, and never let anyone get the best of you. "I've finally realized what life is all about... it's about hanging on when your heart has had enough. It's about giving more when you feel like giving up."
I've made mistakes in my life. I've let people take advantage of me, and I accepted way less than I deserve. But, I've learned from my bad choices and even though there are some things I can never get back and people who will never be sorry, I'll know better next time and I won't settle for anything less then I deserve. In life, we do things. Some, we wish we had never done, and some we wish we could replay a million times, but they make us who we are and, in the end, they shape and detail us. If we were to reserve them, we wouldn't be the person we are today. So, just live. Make mistakes and have wonderful memories. But, never second guess who you are, where you've been and, most importantly, where you're going.

----///-\\\----If you have ever felt
---|||---|||---Alone
---|||---|||---Hated
---|||---|||---Suicidal
----\\\-///----Appathetic
-----\\///-----Depressed
------///\-----Or
-----///\\\----Just
----///--\\\---Feel in pain
---///----\\\--Put this on your channel

One can only feel desolate for so long until one starts to change Into something the mirror doesn't recognize; a metamorphosis.

"Blackout" by Senses Fail

I just drove under the Lincoln sign
To where New Jersey meets the New York line
And through the tunnel for the last time
With everything crumbling behind

I stood still until I felt the shakes
Of two bodies that were parting ways
I didn't want to be the one to say
"I know this hurts, but it's time to break"

In two pieces, the fault line is not secure
A boat or bridge is needed to get back to her

I feel like I am paralyzed
When I look at the extra space left in my bed
And think about all the things we did

At least I'm feeling more alive
But I still have some old weight that I've got to shed
Before I find happiness

I make mountains out of my worries
And I plant pain instead of sturdy trees
I have got to wash these old sheets
So I can fall asleep

There are times, there are times I reach for the phone
To tell you that there might still be some hope
Holding on, holding on to the slack of rope
But thats the whiskey talking, so

I hope that you can find some peace in life
Can you survive without me?
'Cause I thought I'd be fine
But now I am slurring every single line

I fell like I am paralyzed
When I look at the extra space left in my bed
And think about all the things we did

At least I'm feeling more alive
But I still have some old weight that I've got to shed
I've got to move on before I find happiness

This isn't fair, nobody taught me (how to let go)
"Just be here now" and you'll be set free from sorrow?
But at this time, I don't see clearly (how will I know?)
What is the point? What is the meaning?

Now I'm struggling, I blackout so I can't dream
But I still see you sneaking through my weary head
I suffer from a drought of medicine to dull self-doubt
I just wanna drown you out with southern poison

If I had a drink for every Goddamn time I think
About your pale skin dressed in pink
Then at least I could sleep

If I had a shot for every Goddamn time I thought
About your face and what I lost
At least I'd get some sleep
Sleep, sleep, at least I'd get some sleep
Sleep, sleep, then at least I'd get some sleep...

"Lipgloss And Letdown" by A Static Lullaby

Blind to the answers, find yourself
Walk for the moment, find the reason in yourself
There's a reason, there's a reason for you and I
There's a reason, there's a reason for you and I

Take this time to find a meaning
A reason to sit back and measure
the worst 6 years of my life

Waiting for your legs to close on my best friends
Last night I saw your life flash before my eyes

Why did I laugh so hard baby?
(You won't be back)
I never meant to hurt you
(But I did)
And I'm sorry that you cried so hard darling
(You won't be back)
I'll never hurt you again

Take this time to find your tongue
A sorry excuse to stop your lies
The best 30 seconds of my life

My angel, take your pills
My angel, I sold your ring
And now you're speechless
And I can't stop laughing

Why did I laugh so hard baby?
(You won't be back and I'm still laughing)
I never meant to hurt you
(But I did)
And I'm sorry that you cried so hard darling
(You won't be back)
I'll never hurt you again

Why did I laugh so hard baby?
(You won't be back and I'm still laughing)
I never meant to hurt you
(But I did)
And I'm sorry that you cried so hard darling
(You won't be back and I'm still crying)
I'll never hurt you again

I didn't want it this way
[x4]

Well, I hope that you are happy where you are
(You should have left me sleeping)
And I'm glad to say I put you there, I put you there
(You should have let me sleep...)
Well, who's the one who's laughing now?
(Now there's nothing left to say...)
I'm the one who's laughing now, yeah
(...I hope you're feeling my embrace, and I can't sleep)
Well, I hope that you are happy where you are
(Now there's nothing left to say...)
And I'm glad to say I put you there, I put you there
(...I hope you're feeling my embrace, and I can't sleep)

"My Black Dahlia" by Hollywood Undead

I loved you, you made me, hate me.
You gave me, hate, see?.
It saved me and these tears are deadly.
You feel that?
I rip back, every time you tried to steal that.
You feel bad? you feel sad?
I'm sorry, hell no fuck that!
It was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife.
This strife it dies, this life and these lies.
And these lungs have sung this song for too long, and its true I hurt too, remember I loved you!
I've , Lost it all, fell today, It's all the same
I'm sorry oh (I'm sorry)
I'm sorry no (no)
I've , been abused, I feel so used, because of you
I'm sorry oh (I'm sorry)
I'm sorry no (NO!)
I wish I could I could have quit you.
I wish I never missed you,
And told you that I loved you, every time I fucked you.
The future that we both drew, and all the shit we've been through.
Obsessed with the thought of you, the pain just grew and grew!
How could you do this to me?
Look at what I made for you, it never was enough and the world is what I gave to you.
I used to be love struck; now I'm just fucked up.
Pull up my sleeves and see the pattern of my cuts!
I've , Lost it all, fell today, It's all the same
I'm sorry oh (I'm sorry)
I'm sorry no (no)
I've , been abused, I feel so used, because of you
I'm sorry oh(I'm sorry)
I'm sorry no (NO!)

Seems like all we had is over now you left to rest.
And your tears are dried up now, you just lay without a sound.
Seems like all we had is over now, you left to rest.
And my fears are over now, I can leave with my head down.

I've , Lost it all, fell today, It's all the same
I'm sorry oh (I'm sorry)
I'm sorry no (no)
I've , been abused, I feel so used, because of you
I'm sorry oh (I'm sorry)
I'm sorry no (NO!)

Sorry....Sorry.....Sorry
(I used to be love struck, now Im just fucked up. Pull up my sleeves, and see the pattern of my cuts!)

Sorry...Sorry.....Sorry
(I used to be love struck, now Im just fucked up. Pull up my sleeves, and see the pattern of my cuts!)

Im sorry, no!

"Empty" by Twiztid

If you think you can get to me
My minds a door open
Walk right through
I'm Deranged thats how it has to be
I never said I was anything like you

You bring me down, let me out
You bring me down, let me out

Sit down beside my ignorance
Nobody loves me like you do
Sick and tired of all the hypocrites
Hate me cuz I'm not like you

You bring me down, let me out
You bring me down, let me out

Making judgements just to satisfy
I got you different right here
You can see all the pain in my eyes
Overflowing with tears

You bring me down, let me out
You bring me down, let me out

My mind is twiztid with these thoughts of you
I just can't be alone
A constant blister when I talk to you
Wish you would leave me alone

You bring me down, let me out
You bring me down, let me out

Smokin' cigarettes passin' the time
Somehow I'm lonely again
No one knows I'm feelin' deep inside
Maybe if I had a friend

You bring me down, let me out
You bring me down, let me out