InJoyAndSorrow• Show poetry

Fighting back the memories of the past
There are things that I can not explain to you.
There are things that I can not say to you.
What if I do?
What if I do?
What would you do to me
What would you say to me
Would you hurt me
Desert me
Kill me
Mame me
Mark me
Hold me down
Ware me out
Leave me to drown
In my own self doubt
You don't know what I've dealt with
You don't know how I felt
You don't know where I've been
And you have not felt my guilt
And you think that I'm just a child
Trapped in the body of a woman
You dont' know the hell that once held me
And I almost burned boy I was so close.
Fuck what you think you know about me
You don't know now and you never did
You thought you knew the girl that was there
But you only paid attention to the wrong details
You just think you feel it
You just think you know
They all feel it
Until it's time to go
And then broken and weary
One day you'll shine
Your eyes towards the heavens
And you'll pray things will be alright
Because one day you'll feel my pain
And one day you'll lose that pride
One day you'll see past today
And tonight, tomorrow
And that sunrise.
One day it wont' be about my money
One day it won't be about how I held you tight
One day you'll see that you loved me for who I was
And how much good I brought into your life
And it will be too late to say that you are sorry
How on earth will you respond
You will look over the past at how you
Did me so so wrong
And you'll cry and fill that hour glass
And you will bust your ass to get me back
And I won't be there to save you
There is so many times you'll helped me boy
But now I'm seeing that I"m just your toy
And it wont happen again
I dont' want to be friends.