Imposing Snail• Show poetry

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Scribimus indocti doctique poemata passim

and

Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes


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The only thing harder than arguing with me, is agreeing with me. If you put a view forward I will take an opposing stand-point. Not because I think you're wrong, but because I want you to think about your opinions, why you think what you do and how you can convince others to your point of view.

This is a skill that can only come with practice. And, although I am well aware that very few people are, you should be glad that I'm giving you the chance to refine your arguments and advance your own understanding and appreciation of your own insights into the world around you.

What you shouldn't do is call me stupid for not agreeing with you, because that isn't productive and the display of unwillingness to justify yourself just serves to undermine your own position.

And remember; if you can't explain it to a five year old, you don't understand it well enough yet.


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Too many times I've seen good killing sprees fall just short of greatness because there simply wasn't a memorable quote. So, as a public service, I've decided to compile a shortlist of things to say while on a killing spree:

(Feel free to make suggestions, I enjoy telling you just how much peoples' sense of humour sucks)

"You probably think I'm not a nice person."

"I bet you thought you weren't going to die today... Surprise!!"

"Welcome to the land of freedom, Bitches!"

"Somebody ate my last cookie, and now you're all gonna pay!"

"Blame your government!" - AN Divine (now, Clementine Comatose)

"PORKCHOP SNADWICHES!"




"Poetry is like picking apart a custard cream and eating the middle bit first. We know it takes longer and we don't actually gain anything more out of it. Yet somehow we feel the need to do it anyway."

Me on Rave/R&B:
"Bass is something that belongs in the sea, not my speakers."



Me on Making Sense:
"I made some once but then it fell behind the couch."



Me on Breathing:
"It's the latest thing; everybody's doing it."



Me (slightly miss-representatively) on same-sex wards:
"Why should I care about the gender of the person laying in bed next to me?"



Me upon arriving in London:
"It's just like any other town; only taller"



Wes on me:
"Delightfully funny yet yummy"




Laura on blowing up balloons:
"Oh God! The long ones are really hard. It's alright once you've got them going but getting that first blow..."



Google Ad on my page:
"Buy Snail Face Gel
Great Value Snail Face Gel. Feel healthy & look fabulous.
http://www.hollandandbarrett.com/pages/product_detail.asp?pid=869&afid=70&safid=ggl&scid=13435&cm_mmc=Google-_-Product-_-82747-_-snail"



Awesome CB moment:

...
XxAngelofTearsxX: I'm new
XxAngelofTearsxX: Got any advice?
Sunshine Singer gives Snail a lollipop instead
Imposing Snail waves his lollipop
AlbinoNinjaPenguin misses her lollipop.
Imposing Snail advises people not to listen to the Snail
AlbinoNinjaPenguin advises people not to buy thongs. they ride up.
Black Lethe Blossom: I'm buying a whole giaganta bag of them tomorrow.
Imposing Snail: Of thongs?
Black Lethe Blossom: The lollipops, not the thongs



XXXFlipperXXX: an orca is a vegetable


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This is probably a list of philosophies that I probably hold most of the time (When my hands aren't full with other things):


I am the author of my life story. (book signings are next week!)

If you accuse me of thinking I'm better than you; I probably don't, but I probably am.

If something I say doesn't make sense to you, it probably wasn't supposed to.

Life is far too an important matter to be taken seriously.

A lesson learnt twice is a lesson wasted.

Those who stand accused and those who point the finger are closer than you'd like to believe.

Wisdom is not knowing the answers, but knowing when to ask for them.

If you've never been knocked down you've never really stood up.

Life is the deepest form of escapism.

If you find the going easy, beware: You may be heading downhill.

Comprehending a wrong opinion is infinitely more valuable than pressing the right one.

If it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck... It may be about to shoot you!

Perfection maybe be unreachably distant, but it's still a good direction to be heading.

A life spent solely searching for meaning is a life that missed the point.

I would rather be a happy nobody then a miserable somebody.

Servo permaneo bovis provestri.


(May add more as and when I think of them)

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Has an Indian name: Falls-In-Tubs



A Freak's Luvah and married to a Rave Boy (who is now his brother ... Kinky ).

Proud Owner of Freak's Guestbook! and Mummy Blonde's

Adopted by PureBlonde.. Candy


Has been warned! *dun dun durrrrrrrn*
(Unjustly, I might add )
(I take that back, it was just about just)