Genesis• Show poetry

Hi. My name is Scott. I'm a 19 year old guy from Indiana. I'm straight and single. I am currently attending college at the University of Evansville. I am majoring in writing. I'm not really sure what I want to do after school...maybe teach?

I started writing poetry toward the latter part of 2007 and have been at it ever since. Besides poetry, I have written a number of short short stories and one long short story. I have posted these on Story Write.

My favorite authors are John Grisham (The Rainmaker, The Partner, and The Brethren are my favorite of his law thrillers), Tim LaHaye, Jeff Stone, Rick Riordan, and me.

I like country music. My favorite movies are "300", "The Prestige", and "Ocean's 11, 12 and 13". Anything with George Clooney, Dane Cook, or Jim Carrey is usually good, I think. I also like the "Pirates of the Carribean" movies. "Juno" was good, too.

I'm addicted to stand-up comedy. Ron White, Dane Cook, Stephen Lynch, Lewis Black, Jim Gaffighan, Jeff Dunham, Mike Birbiglia, Gabriel Iglesias, Eddie Izzard, Rich Vos, and Demetri Martin are some of my favorites. My absolute favorite has to be Louis C.K.

My favorite TV shows are House, M.D., Boston Legal, Flashforward, and Lost...maybe. I also enjoy Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Family Guy, and Venture Brothers.

Steve Martin is amazing. Period. "The Jerk" "Trains, Planes, and Automobiles" "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels"

Anatidaphobia: The fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is always watching...Be afraid.

I like to play board games and card games. Chess and poker are my favorites.

I will argue with anyone about anything at anytime. Be prepared.

I think our world is full of corruption and some shit needs to change. Fast.

I'm a firm believer in Murphy's Law; anything that can go wrong will go wrong.

"Don't be afraid to go out on a limb, that's where the fruit is."

"Hate is too heavy a burden to bear; it harms the hater more than the hated."

"Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground."

"Tis better to be pissed off than pissed on."

"The closest distance between two people is laughter."

I hate indifference. Be on one side of the fence or the other, don't split your nuts in the middle of the post.

66% of guys have had suggestive fantasies about most women they know. That's 2 out of every 3 guys. Creepy, huh? Even more astonishing: 45% of women have had suggestive fantasies about most women they know as well. Interesting...

My history teacher once said, "History repeats itself. If we do not learn from history, we are doomed to repeat it. If you do not learn from my History class, you will repeat it."

If there's anything I forgot, I'll add it later.
My e-mail is below; I'd love to hear from you. And I'm always accepting constructive critisism. Honesty helps, don't candy-coat stuff, unless... no, never mind.

The Seven Deadly Sins: Wrath, Lust, Envy, Greed, Gluttony, Sloth, Vanity.

Six More: Pride, Ambition, Blasphemy, Murder, Hate, Betrayal.

Betrayal should be unforgivable. The rest deserve a slap on the wrist. Lust deserves a slap on the ass. Lol. Some of you have probably done all of these in a five minute time span. Some in less. Can ambition and sloth be done at once? They're like antonyms, right? Maybe an ambition to be lazy? I guess ambition is a feeling, not an action...

They say that the love for money is the root of all evil. I disagree. I believe that boredom is the root of all evil. If people had something to f***ing do, it would keep them busy and out of trouble.

One time, I read a bumpersticker that said, "Guns cause crime like flies cause garbage." And, I laughed to myself because it is true. There was crime before guns ever existed; guns are simply attracted to crime. But, we had better not let Congress get ahold of this little message because they'll be trying to ban flies, too.

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OBITUARY OF THE LATE MR. COMMON SENSE

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.

No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn't always fair; and Maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding and unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
(I stole this from a thief...justice has been served.)


--Genesis.