Forgotten Garden• Show poetry

*****Pardon me. Have you met my writer's block?*******



I don't follow a set schism in my writings. I just let words flow and if the verses rhyme, then so be it. I don't intentionally follow any rules in writing. What you see is what you get. Most of my writings will be a tad bit negative and opinionated, but that's because I have lived a rather dark life full of injustice and despair (but honestly, haven't we all?) I tend to point fingers in my writings, but keep my opinions to myself, for the most part, in my daily conversations. It's just easier that way.

If you add me to your myspace or facebook, please send me a msg saying you're from AP so I don't accidently delete and block you.

I was married to someone who I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I will never forget nor regret him. It is my hope that he will, one day, find someone to spend his life with and be able to be happy. I did learn a lot from him and those lessons I will carry with me always. I've only given my heart completely over to 2 people and they both crushed it beyond total repair. The first, well, we were both young and knew it wouldn't last. The second, I married.

What and who I like depends on my mood. At times, I am the dark scary girl in the corner. Other times, I'm the life of the party in bright pink and orange. I AM very moody. Just b/c I start the day feeling black doesn't mean I won't end it in pink. Very few people know exactly how to take me b/c all know that just because I'm nice to you doesn't mean I wouldn't piss on your grave. I rarely forget a deed done towards my loved ones or myself be it good or bad. If you screw me over once, you can bet I'll never forget it. I'm very insecure in meeting new people but once ya get to know me, I'm pretty laid back and cocky.

I've lived the majority of my life looking for validation through others. I spent too many years looking for my mother to do this in an effort to make up for the time (birth-my teenage years) she had very little to nothing to do with me. I've come to understand that the only one who can validate me is myself.

My daughter was born December 10, 2008!! I know she was sent here to save me b/c I was very suicidal when I found out I was pregnant. Her presence saved me and I'm eternally thankful. Words cannot describe the love I feel for her. She is the best thing I've ever had or ever will have!! Looking at her gives me a strong hope for the future and when she smiles I know everything will work out the way it should.

My niece is a pageant goddess and knows it. She's been in and won many major pageants in the south. She's only 6, but she will win Miss America one day. I have 2 nephews who are twin boys. They're 4 and are truly bad little boys with wonderful hearts. My sister is THE BEST! She is a mom to me even though she is only 6 years older than I. She is who I go to for motherly advice, love, and support. My cousin is Special Forces for the ARMY and he will kick your ass. Seriously though, he is my hero and has taught me a lot about what one soul can handle!

When it comes to religion, I am very much divided. I was raised in a very strict Church of Christ home(redundant I know). Growing up, I was always interested in other religions. I've dabbled with various religions thoughout my life. I think the Vampyre culture is mysterious, eloquent, and erotic beyond all others. I do believe there is SOMETHING out there. Do I think it's the "GOD"? I'm not sure. No, I'm not a member of any church and will remain that way until I know what I believe. I do not believe in judging or bashing anyone for their religion of choice. I think that is one of the most ignorant things one can do. We were all put here for a reason and are free to worship as we please so get over it!!

IN A NUTSHELL::
BRANDI LOVES:

a good cup of coffee, crystal light green tea with honey lemon, Beth's sleepy smile and Asian looking eyes when she wakes up, new clothes, new shoes that fit just right, Sandra Brown, Danielle Steel, and Mary Higgins Clark novels, music, myspace, facebook, AP, pogo, IHOP, nice people, writing, elderly couples who still hold hands, freedom, my green teddy bear, Mr. Gatti's pizza buffet, a crackling fire, good red wine, Evian water, the Goodwill store, my bed, big fluffy pillows, my Lone Star quilt, Garnier Fructis anything, making funny faces, long slow kisses, a good hug, my back and neck popping, go carts, little girls playing princess, nail polish, BURT'S BEES, taking pictures, the movie Rent, Mulan Rouge soundtrack (Thank you Randy), cash registers that say "uh-oh", freezer doors on the dairy isle that say "moo" when you open them, Mocha-Vanilla slushies, good Asian food, crisp almonds, good conversations, people who are real, toe socks, Texas Longhorns, House, big tall trees, the zoo, Obsession perfume, books on religion, crisp juicy apples, breakfast at 10pm, chicken fried steak dinner at 8am, Mexican food, Tate Barn Sale, good relationships, happy marriages, the way a child's eyes light up when they get a present, the love only your own child can give, tears of joy, watching my nephews dance, hearing my niece sing, the way Aimee's nose crinkles, my grandma's advice, my daddy's voice...so soothing, the fact that my cousin Troy is a daily reminder of how everyone SHOULD be--but isn't, my mom's chocolate peanut butter ritz crackers, roasted pecans, my grandma's fruit salad, my memaw's long slender hands, hearing stories about my mom's daddy, my porcelin dolls my pappaw bought me, James Dean posters, my pappaws paintings, family pictures, home movies, walking on railroad tracks, my parent's bathtub,Outback's green beans, Houlahans pot roast, chicken salad, homemade potato salad with apples, my daddy's deer steak, my daddy's omlets, my mom's chex mix, my mom's smile...the big one, brick roads, blue roses, getting letters in the mail, government, history, Mr. Milam's classes, air hockey, the INTERNET, the song All that Jazz, winks, being held when I sleep, kisses on my forehead.

BRANDI HATES:

rush hour traffic, people who lie, people who cheat, people who steal, murder, disease, a common cold, allergies, back pain, seeing a child cry, stubbing my toe, size 00 clothes and the people who wear them, dying flowers, seeing a man cry, seeing soldiers cry, war, distress, fighting, parents who don't love their children, mothers who use their children as leverage, drugs, gin, hospital food, lumpy beds, flat pillows, "internet connection failed", backstabbers, posers, mullets, CD's and DVD's that skip, morning radio, doggie poo bags, having to take the stairs, bad tattoos, death, fake people, nursing homes, nursing homes disguised as rehab centers, electrical outlets that don't work, debt, rent, laundry, janky vehicles, mean spirited people, spouses who don't appreciate their sig. other, the month of October, Valentine's Day, hard wood floors, AIDS, child molestors, rapists, people who spend more money on their ride than their house, mayo, being too hot to sleep, lukewarm water, hard water, tap water, people who yell in the middle of the night, people who let their toddlers run through parking lots, movie previews, small trashbags, the cost of stamps, back pain, running out of iced tea, peach tea, busy signals, dropped calls, static, not knowing how to play guitar, fleas, cows, CLOWNS, taxes, people who call the fire dept. b/c they locked the keys in the car, people who can't park straight, the fact that wal-mart never has enough cashiers, bad hair days, dry skin, running out of lip balm, snoring that wakes me up, stepping in dog poo b/c someone didn't use the poo bag, junk mail, junk e-mail, drama, lying to people about how cute their kid is, short hair on lil girls, long hair on granny's, 80 year old women with jet black hair or fire engine red hair, women with football helment hair cuts, not being able to cry, crying, poor pitiful me attitudes, wasted talents, close minded people, acne, needles, leaky faucets, hoodlems, George W. Bush, shoes that are too tight, knee socks, ugly eyebrows, birth marks, fake friends, foster parents who are just in it for the money, whistling, loud ceiling fans, small spaces, roaches, water bugs, gnats, fruit flies, rats, spiders that come from out of nowhere, fire ants, noisy neighbors, world hunger, global warming, people who litter

Some of my favorite quotes!!!

**That hurt like E Coli!!--My Monchichi

**Tact. The ability to tell a man to go to hell and make him feel happy to be on his way.--Anonymous

**I like your Christ, but I do not care for your Christians. They are not much like your Christ.
--Ghandi

**Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.--Anonymous

**It is grief that develops the powers of the mind----Marcel Proust

**Ruin and recovery are both from within--Epictetus

**"Yeah, you didn't know that a square plate means a square meal?"--Mike in a goofy moment

**Well, I was going to threaten you with my box cutter, but you stole it when I wasn't looking"--August

**"If ya think about it B, we are all life's gutter whores. But it's ok, we whores stick together to make this world a better place. Plus, at times, the Pimps are nice. Well, mine is anyway."--my dear wannabe philosopher friend Chris.

**What the hell did you get from McDonald's that shatters when you throw the bag in the dumpster?!--Mike to Thom


BEST MUSIC QUIZ/SURVEY THINGY EVER::

M U S I C s u r v e y
Name a band/singer with the letter...
A: Aerosmith
B: Beatles
C: Cars
D: Dashboard Confessional
E: Eagles
F: Foo Fighters
G: Godsmack
H: Hawthorne Heights
I: INXS
J: Judas Priest
K: Kiss
L: Live
M: Metallica
N: Nirvana
O: Oasis
P: Pantera
Q: Queen
R: Red Hot Chili Peppers
S: Saraphim Shock
T: They Might Be Giants
U: U 2
V: Velvet Revolver
W: Wallflowers
X: Xscape
Y: Yes
Z: ZZTop
Name a song by...
Alice Cooper: Only Women Bleed
AFI: File 13
CKY: Sara's Mask
Black Sabbath: Iron Man
Led Zeppelin: Stairway To Heaven
Jimi Hendrix: Purple Haze
AC/DC: Big Balls
Metallica: Master of Puppets
Nirvana: Lithium
Van Halen: Jump
Meatloaf: Objects In The Rearview Mirror
Megadeth: Devil's Island
Motley Crue: Home Sweet Home
Guns N Roses: Patience
Cheap Trick: The Flame
Sex Pistols: Bodies
The Ramones: Sedated
The Doors: Light My Fire
The Who: Who Are You (who who)
KISS: BETH
Aerosmith: Rag Doll
Blondie: One Way or Another
Pantera: Cemetary Gates
Judas Priest: Breaking the Law
Iron Maiden: Charlotte the Harlot
Anthrax: Out of Sight, Out of Mind
Boston: More than a Feeling
Children of Bodom: Touch Like Angel of Death
Cradle of Filth: Gilded Cunt
David Bowie: China Girl
Deep Purple: Smoke on the Water
Def Leppard: Pour Some Sugar on ME
ZZ Top: La Grange
Dio: Evil Eyes
Evanescence: My Immortal
Garbage: Stupid Girl
From First To Last: We All Have Hell
Atreyu: When Two are One
Godsmack: Bad Religion
HIM: Heartache Every Moment
Joan Jett and the Blackhearts: Crimson and Clover
Lita Ford: Close My Eyes Forever
Janis Joplin: Me and Bobby McGee
Kittie: Do You Think I'm a Whore
The Go-Go's: We Got The Beat
Korn: Chutes and Ladders
Lacuna Coil: Closer
Linkin Park: My December
Marilyn Manson: Mob Scene
Nine Inch Nails: Closer
No Doubt: Spiderwebs
Lynyrd Skynyrd: Balled of Curtis Loew (yes that's spelled correctly)
Blackfoot: Too Hard to Handle
The Outlaws: Riders in the Sky
The Offspring: Pretty Fly For A White Guy
Ozzy Osbourne: Crazy Train
Pink Floyd: Wish You Were Here
Poison: Every Rose Has Its Thorn
Shadows Fall: The Light That Binds
The Police: Roxanne
Queen: Killer Queen
Queensryche: Silent Lucidity
Rob Zombie: Living Dead Girl
White Zombie: More Human Than Human
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Under The Bridge
The Scorpions: Animal Magnetism
Skid Row: I Remember You
Slayer: Spill The Blood
Smashing Pumpkins: 1979
The Cult: brother wolf, sister moon
Blue Oyster Cult: Don't Fear The Reaper
Twisted Sister: We're Not Gonna Take it
WASP: Maneater
Whitesnake: I Wanna Know What Love Is
Type O Negative: Cinnamon Girl
Quiet Riot: Cum on feel the noize
Pearl Jam: Last Kiss or Jeremy
Bush: Mouth
Alice In Chains: Them Bones
Soundgarden: Black Hole Sun
Creed: My Own Prison
Shania Twain: From This Moment
Toby Keith: Should've Been A Cowboy
Faith Hill: It Matters To Me
Jimmy Buffet: Margaritaville
Trivia
What year did Metallica's Cliff Burton die?: 1986------I WAS 3
What year did Poison's "Look What The Cat Dragged In" come out?: 1986
Who was the original bass player for Marilyn Manson?: Twiggy
What is Ozzy Osbourne's real name?: John Michael Osbourne
What's is Jimmy Buffet's restaurant called?: Margaritaville
Who became the singer for Motley Crue when Vince Neil left the band?: John Corabi
What was HIM's 3rd album?: Deep Shadows and Brilliant Highlights
Where are The Scorpions from?: Germany
Who originally sung the song "Knockin' On Heaven's Door"?: Bob Dylan
What band was Ozzy Osbourne in before he went solo?: Black Sabbath
Who is the guitarist for AFI?: Jade Puget
If you get this last question wrong, you're a dumbass.
Name the original KISS band member.: Gene Simmons





*****MY AP FAMILY*****


My wonderful AP Daddy. http://allpoetry.com/Lazarus%20Merlinus
He is an extremely deep thinker and an antique soul. I enjoy talking with him on the phone and listening to the thousands of stories he has to tell. He is extremely brilliant, so it is terribly difficult for me to converse with him....Hopefully, he doesn't think of me as an ignorant peon.

My AP Uncle: http://allpoetry.com/GunRunner No family is complete without that one neurotic yet intelligent uncle thrown into the mix! This man is one of the greater modern day poets. He says what he thinks and feels without showing remorse. If you want it straight, this is the man to go to. He is sometimes brash but that's why we love him so much!

My AP Mommy: "http://allpoetry.com/Asylaarix">www.allpoetry.com/Asylaarix She may be a badass but she's got just enough good in her to help some of us out. Thank you so much for your kind and understanding words!

My AP brother: www.allpoetry.com/Azrael1179 This man is full of wonderful, magical words. He touches my soul and I love him dearly! He's also been my best friend since Kindergarten.

My AP cousin: www.allpoetry.com/gothicviking Yes we have finally let the evil little monkey out of her cage and have landed her here for all to experience. I highly recommend reading her thoughts.