I believe that I am the spiritual descendent of Edward Teach, though I have learned nothing. I am unrelated to Michael Learned, who has taught me little. It is also said that I have the ability to communicate with horses that have crossed over to the other side...Old Dobbin! This was all foretold to me by a friend in a dream who died in his sleep the night he dreamed it all...
True Love
A guy is driving down the highway with his second best girl on the back of his bike. He is doing about ninety on a rain slicked road. He’d given Janice his helmet to wear out of habit, as he always did for his numero uno, Tiffy Sue. He started getting worried about having an accident, but he didn’t what Janice to know, so he shouts back to her: “hey, babe, I bet you can’t take off that helmet and put it on my head while were doing ninety on this freakin’ road!” At first Janice is a bit hurt that he wants the helmet, she likes him a lot, but she knows she’s got no chance with Tiffy Sue, in the picture. So she figures, “What the hey!” and shouts, “OK, hun, here we go!” She carefully takes the helmet off her head, her long blond hair streaming out as he weaves in and out of heavy traffic. “Ok,” she shouts, “here it comes!” She snuggles closer to him and places the helmet over his head like a crown. As she does so his vision is blocked for just a second as she clicks the strap shut securely on his head. A car swerves, and the bike tries to avoid it and they both go skidding off the road and bounce across a field a dozen times before the guy, the girl and bike come to a stop some four hundred feet from the road. Janice is dead instantly of head injuries. The guy survives with only minor cuts and bruises. Tiffany Sue eventually breaks up with her man a month later for a young sheriff’s deputy in Dothan. The moral of the story is don’t let freakin anybody use your freakin’ helmet!!
True Love
A guy is driving down the highway with his second best girl on the back of his bike. He is doing about ninety on a rain slicked road. He’d given Janice his helmet to wear out of habit, as he always did for his numero uno, Tiffy Sue. He started getting worried about having an accident, but he didn’t what Janice to know, so he shouts back to her: “hey, babe, I bet you can’t take off that helmet and put it on my head while were doing ninety on this freakin’ road!” At first Janice is a bit hurt that he wants the helmet, she likes him a lot, but she knows she’s got no chance with Tiffy Sue, in the picture. So she figures, “What the hey!” and shouts, “OK, hun, here we go!” She carefully takes the helmet off her head, her long blond hair streaming out as he weaves in and out of heavy traffic. “Ok,” she shouts, “here it comes!” She snuggles closer to him and places the helmet over his head like a crown. As she does so his vision is blocked for just a second as she clicks the strap shut securely on his head. A car swerves, and the bike tries to avoid it and they both go skidding off the road and bounce across a field a dozen times before the guy, the girl and bike come to a stop some four hundred feet from the road. Janice is dead instantly of head injuries. The guy survives with only minor cuts and bruises. Tiffany Sue eventually breaks up with her man a month later for a young sheriff’s deputy in Dothan. The moral of the story is don’t let freakin anybody use your freakin’ helmet!!
- Last seen 2 days ago. Member since September 12, 2006.
- I'm a carnelian hope poet for 149 comments.
- I am a 29 year old guy (United States)
- I have 149 comments, 298 poems
Poems I'm focused on
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yellow swallows fly
Above the beach their droppings19 lines, 1 comment, August 17. In Humor -
My lovely old lady was Malice,
She was queen of all slime and all smut,34 lines, 1 comment, July 23. In Humor -
I come to you house in the rain
Sporting my weary love,22 lines, June 18. In Humor -
I run with the banana-nosed wolves,
I am one with the bat guano and like -
Once my heart was a tattered rose
And I got mad and hit up the side19 lines, 3 comments, November 18, 2008. In Contemporary, Stupid -
the breeze of morning a gentle wafture
My Poetry
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In dreams I’ve sniffed out something rotten,
From her to distant Mandalay,55 lines, 1 comment, November 6. In Humor -
I walk barefoot in the wet sand
Dreaming of your slobbering kisses -
The rising sun does bless my soul
and being pious is my goal, -
Need is not quite the same thing as understanding
While catharsis is nearly unbending brutality,
Guest Book
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Wee Beastie on April 22HAPPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 (immanuel kant, 1724-1804, was a GErman philosopher whose 'critique of pure reason' is widely recoginized as one of the greatest works in the history of philosophy. one critc described it as "a tough nut to crack"
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montez : ??? on March 21We're doing ninety, PLEASE.
Lumox -
montez : ??? on March 21"He didn't WHAT Janice to know"???
Lumox -
zhaniswolf on March 4remind me that when I'm going through hell just to come look at your page. You are a much needed laugh. That is your gift. Thank you for sharing it with AP.
