Emberess• Show poetry

     Side notes of life are stuck in my head,
like songs in my recycle bin, over, dead.
Stories come while I sleep and walk with me in day,
like reasons why I weep they stalk me like prey.

    Now, About Me:
Theme Songs at the Moment-
Love life: Never Let You Down by The Verve Pipe and When the Moon Met the Night by Panic at the Disco
Thinking Of Those Who've Hurt Me: He Wasn't by Avril Lavigne
When I'm Alone: Unwell by Matchbox Twenty and Anything But Ordinary by Avril Lavigne
With Friends: I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends by The Beatles and In Between by Fort Minor
When Bored: Psycho by Puddle of Mudd
On The World: I'll Walk by Unknown, Never To Late by Three Days Grace, If Everyone Cared by Nickelback, and Paper Planes by M.I.A.

Favorites-
Color: Blue
Song: Too many to pick from
Music: Alternative Rock/Christian Rock/Punk Rock but I like all genras
Actor:Johnny Depp
Child Actor: Dkota Fanning
Band At The Moment: Snow Patrol/The Fray
Myth: Cassandra and Apollo
Urban Legend: The Tunnel
Tall Tale: Pecos Bill
Fairy Tale: Sleeping Beauty as rewritten in Spindle's End
Folk Tale: Snow White and Rose Red
Children's Rhyme: Are You Sleeping?
Children's Song: Ring-Around-the-Rosies
Children's Story: Red Riding Hood
Play: St. Joan as written by Bernard Shaw
Animated Movie: The Lion King
Movie: Becoming Jane
Anime Movie: My Neighbor Totoro
Element: Water
Male Book Character: Edward Cullen, Numair Salmalin
Female Book Character: Lirael, Daughter of the Clayr and Wanderer the Soul

RANDOM JOURNAL AND THOUGHTS ENTRIES

4-?
I'm rather cheerful today, even though yesterday I decided to erase my ex-boyfriend from my life. I just finished the book Twilight yesterday, and if you haven't noticed, it's my new favorite book! Plus I've totally fallen in love with Edward Cullen, the main male character and vampire!! It's very funny, I find vampires very atractive, it's also slightly disturbing, haha! LOL.
4-16
Wow I totally went crazy today puttin my poems in contests. LOL.
7-16
Heya! I haven't written in this in awhile. I'm doing farely well. Al the boys I want are jerks, and the one I can't have is golden. Haha! Oh well I geuss that's the way life is sometimes. I think I'm goin to start writng more lyrics. I LOVE music! So I might as well right for my love. Hmmm...that was an interesting quote. Anyways, it's still summer and I'm still havin fun. The "Golden Boy" I told you about, he's like a really good guy friend. I couldn't imagine trying to understand guys without him. We haven't seen each other all summer and I posted a pic of myself and he was like, "Is that you?" I geuss I've changed a bunch over the summer. So look out world! The new and improved Autumn is coming back to school!!!
6-14-07
Single again, I just can't seem to keep my life together. Well I'm not perfect you know. I've started writing a novel. It's Fantasy/Fiction. I don't know if I'm ever going to stop procrastinating and work on it. I'm the worst procrastinator in the world.

8-8-07
Here I am again, writing on this page words that who knows who will ever see or read. I love this site, everyone has always been friendly and encouraging, even if they didn't agree with my poetry style sometimes. But that's ok you know, I mean it's not like I write my poetry for them, or anyone as a matter of fact. I write because my soul bleeds words like your hearts pump blood through your veins. It's like an addiction, I got a taste of it when I was younger, and now I can't get enough of it. I eat, sleep, and breathe words. They are singularly so important to me, it's impossible, and I thank God each and every day for my ability to use glorious words to express this constant surge of emotions that I feel every minute of every second of every day. I don't think that I have met anyone who has my vividly extreme outlook on earth. I love my life, I love life! I love my planet and I love this world that I was born to live in. Everything about it amazes me and makes me feel so extremely small in such a huge world, but it's such a glorious feeling! I am so apart of something that is too big even for my words, but I can't help but try to describe it, because that's who I am. Some people have blood, I have ink. Some people like sports, I like books. Some people use knives, I use pens. If I could embrace the entire world right now I think I would. I just think about it and it amazes
me....Just......Breathless.
4-21-08
New boyfriend, new songs, new cast, new family, new friends, new preacher, new room, new passion, new goal...God, I feel like I've been re-made into somthing totally different than I was before.
11-18-08
Well, life has become extremely difficult. All my friends are going through different crisises and I am becoming.... Mellow??? Sort of. Well, and then there's my ex, who is still not talking to me, and lives across the state, this very large state. I wish I knew why. Life, is complicated.

03-22-09
Well, peeps, it's happened again. Yet another boy has waltzed into my life and tilted my world. This one, however, is slightly different. He's eight months older than me, which puts him as the oldest guy I've ever really been interested in (sorry Johnny, it's just not realistic). I think he might actually be shorter than me, but, lol, not much, and I really don't mind. He's really, really, really strong. O.o Lol. He's in powerlifting and he loves it, which just makes me adore him more. He's a really good Christian guy. He's very intelligent. He likes too read, ^_^. He's read the entire Twilight series, and he likes to compare himself to Jacob, which makes me laugh because noone could possibly eclipse him. He's uber charming and good looking, but.........
He's a senior. This is the major problem, because although he's told me he likes me and there's no way I can doubt it, lol, and I've told him the same, he doesn't want to get "serious" (his word, not mine) because he will be leaving in two short months.
But, lol, there's a twist in my life's latest plot. WE'RE GOING TO THE SAME COLLEGE!!! Which is actually an interesting story within itself:
I'd been feeling very worried and discontent with what I had decided to major in in college (Graphic Design). God had been nagging me about something, but I really wasn't listening, I was too worried about my stupid problems to let him fix them for me, lol. But after attending numerous services and reading many passages out of the Bible that spoke to me in a connected and sometimes awe-inspiring way, I had an amazing epiphany: I wasn't supposed to major in Graphic Design, I was supposed to study Archeology.
When I was much younger I had felt a call from God to go into missions through a girl's Christian summer camp I attended. The missionary's there had haunting stories to tell about the impoverished children they had encountered in African cities who were addicted to sniffing liquid glue. I was broken by their testimony, and knew that God was calling me to reach out to people for him.
Another thing I had known for a while was where I was supposed to be doing those missions. Picture sand, miles and miles of sand in all directions. A terrible, unrelenting sun schorching down on the dry landscape. Yes, I think you have it. Egypt. I've always been drawn to Egypt and more widely the Holy Lands, yes, the Middle East. Am I crazy? I don't think so. Am I scared? Yes, I am very scared, but I'm slowly coming to terms with what I know God wants me to do.
Because I was scared and unsure though I went to someone slightly older, much wiser, and someone I trusted completely- my youth minister. I told him what was on my mind and he encouraged me greatly, even told me how to present the idea to my parents (leaving out the words "Middle East"). He then asked me where I was thinking about going to college. I told him I had no idea. Imediately he said the name of the college that the boy I am so confused about is going to. I had to laugh the turn of events was so ironic
I don't really believe in coincidence. I believe everything is orchestrated and happens for a reason. So what does this mean for me and this new guy of mine? Only God knows, but I'm eagerly awaiting the outcome of it all.

07-02-09
Thought I should update my page to match my life. New boyfriend, lol, we've all heard that from me before, but this time its a little different. He's three years older than me. He goes to Tech and he's a music major. Lol, I'm really still in shock, not quite sure how this all happened, but he's coming home the tenth and I can't wait to log in some actual in-person time with him. Stranger still though, his father and mother are, have been, my teachers, and my parents were his teachers in high school. This is a crazy world we're living in. God bless, and peace out.

Random stuff:

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If you'd like to help this bunny with world domination, please paste her on your page.

92% of American teens today would die if Abercrombie & Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. If you're part of the 8% that would be laughing their butts off, put this in your profile.

Did you know that there is one person out there who loves you with all their heart..? on those times that you feel like you have no one, when you think you are all alone and worthless, when you just want to die cuz life is so empty? did you know there is one man out there who loves you..? well there is if you didnt already know this you will when you are done reading this please do not stop reading this until it comes to the end this could just save your life...well know this man that loves you more than you can say is the one and only lord Jesus Christ..!!! that is right, this man loves you always even if you say you dont love him if you say you hate him and so on..you know what he will still love you..! it is true, did you know this man died FOR US? he did his father God sent him for this very purpose, Jesus was hung on a cross, but before that he went through so much pain, pain that no other man on earth would dare go through, he was worked harder than any other, he was spit upon and rocks thrown onto him, and more than you would ever want to go through, then after all his pain and labor, he WILLINGLY carried a cross, and ALLOWED them to hammer old rusty nails into his palms and feet, WHY? you may ask that he went through all this pain well you know what it was FOR YOU he did this all..we all are born into sin, meaning we are all going to hell UNLESS you are saved by the glorly of God which is asking God to take over your life to live life in not sin, to live it pure and holy! You can choose your path, God...OR Satan (you CANT have both. and it is only up to you to pick witch path you want to go on, Satan's path will cause you to spend eternity in hell with burning flames and things beyond belief where every day you wished you were dead but cant cuz you already are, or to have a bright lovely castle with riches and gold with the all mighty father God himself..? where you go is up to you, no one else can pick for you but you, i just want you to know that god is amazing, i lived 15 years and some months in sin, if i where to die in that time i would have gone to hell...there is no other way to say that but i would have gone, but i am saved by the power of his glorly, i am covered by his blood and know that if i where to die right know i would be in heaven with my father, and i just want you to know god loves you no matter how wrong you may have done, no matter how much you think he cant or wont, he will, i know! i did it all when i lived in sin, I did a lot of bad things and im glad i was saved when i did, but my life is diffrent know, i am not perfect trust me, but i try my best to live in his way, and i still do fall and do things i shouldnt but you know what..he still loves me and picks me right back up, so if you want a never ending love and your ticket into the heavens above then just accept christ as your savior and give him your heart, he is there for you and he is waiting, thats right he knows who you are and he loves you he just wants you to love him to, so what are you waiting for? find christ and give him your troubles, give him your heart and he will be there he will care he will love you and his love never fails...thank you so much for reading this and god bless you and never forget God loves you...


HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

I am the girl who came out to the entire school in her senior speech and got a standing ovation for her courage.

I am the girl who kisses her girlfriend on the sidewalk and laughs at those who glare.

We are the couple who planned and studied and got a heck of a good lawyer and BEAT the state that wanted to take our child away.

We are the ones who took martial arts classes and carry pepper spray and are just too dangerous to gaybash.

I am the lesbian who uses the bathroom that suits me, and demands that any complaining staff explain their complaint to my face in front of the entire restaurant -- and shares with my other gay friends which restaurants don't raise a stink.

I am the mother who told her lesbian daughter to invite her girlfriend over for dinner.

I am the mother who punished her son for calling you a fag.

I am making a difference. Hate will NOT win.

Because people are just that, people.

*Repost this in your journal if you believe homophobia is wrong.*



My AP family (I can't keep up with you guys @_@ You change your names constantly, lol)

My Brother: Desolate Dignitary
My Sister: Just.Me.
My Sister: SweetXDestiny