Edna Sweetlove• Show poetry

REALLY WELL WORTH READING [probably]

<---The Ancestral Sweetlove Family Crest

1. Who is Edna?

So many of you have observed that I write as a woman and I have a woman's name, yet some of my poems seem to be written from a male point of view. How astute of you. Suffice it to say that the 513+ people with whom I have been intimately associated (and I do mean ASSOCIATED) know the exotic truth.  Also I dearly love wearing women's clothes, preferably indecently soiled and uncomfortably tight in the most inappropriate places.

2. Why do Edna's poems and stories vary so much?

This is because I am a weird (or werid or wierd as some folks here at AP spell it) person. The fact is that I'm a teeny bit naughty and unbearably witty; why, sometimes I even post items written by degenerate perverts in my disgusting and dysfunctional family (although my ugly, deformed, drooling midget nephew Ephraim is 150% dyslexic so he's not much use on that score, and he's terminal anyway, so who cares).

3. Why doesn't Edna have an AP Family of writers she admires and recommends?

Another frequently posed question and one I can answer because I DO have an AP family now!  You must be dim if you didn't know that. And here they are...please read them avidly!

Edna's very best sexy and funny AP friend who you must go and read now: "no win no fee" 

[ http://allpoetry.com/no%20win%20no%20fee ]

(the poet formerly known as "autumn-")

Edna's rude Irish AP friend: Sweet Pete

[ http://allpoetry.com/user/show/Sweet%20Pete?ok=1 ]

Edna's favourite AP rodent: Bartholomew Mole

[ http://allpoetry.com/Bartholomew%20Mole ]

Edna's personal AP spiritual advisor: Pastor Grovell, D.D.

[ http://allpoetry.com/Mad%20Pastor%20Grovell ] 

Edna's favourite AP morgue attendant: Gustav

[ http://allpoetry.com/Poet%20Gustav ]

Edna's favourite AP person with Alzheimers: Just Fred

[ http://allpoetry.com/Just%20Fred ]

Edna's precocious and poetic AP friend: Uhs Feth Malorn

[ http://allpoetry.com/Uhs%20Feth%20Malorn ]

Edna's saucy American AP lady friend: Cinnarry 

[ http://allpoetry.com/Cinnarry ]

Edna's favourite AP reformed lifer from Portland Bill clink: Michael

[ http://allpoetry.com/----Michael---- ]

Edna's favourite Australian retailer of ancient jokes: Douglas Ramsbottom

[ http://allpoetry.com/Douglas%20Ramsbottom ]

Edna's demented and fairly filthy foxy AP friend: Zorro69

[ http://allpoetry.com/Zorro69 ]

Edna's part-time AP amateur gynaecologist and skid mark inspector: Blankscreen2222

[ http://allpoetry.com/Blankscreen2222 ]

If some of the links don't work don't blame me. If YOU want to be included in this lovely AP family, contact Edna now with a bribe!

4. What about Edna's legendary larger-than-life characters? Why are they so fabulous?

Above all, there is SNOGGO, that exciting alter ego of mine whose adventures I hope will give much pleasure to children aged 50+; SNOGGO is seriously heroic and loves a bit of innocent perversion. He is a bit vain but his exciting escapades are an inspiration to us all. And Naughty Marietta is pretty cool too, sexy slut that she is. I honestly believe Victor the Voyeur is perhaps unique in the history of dogging literature. And Vladimir the Pervert is a lovely human being.

  
 

5. Which are Edna's favourite films?

Since I am renowned for my exquisite taste, I'm often asked which are my favourite comedy films. Well, the funniest film ever is FORREST GUMP. (How I love the fact that Forest is mis-spelled in the title!)  What a ridiculous name and what a funny death scene. Ho ho ho, I giggle even thinking of him talking to that silly tree (the 2nd most wooden thing in the film after the eponymous retard). Next funniest must be THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST - how I shrieked with glee when you-know-who got nailed up (and his smart-arse Dad did nothing about it). In joint third place is LOVE STORY - I laughed so much I had to change my undies (twice) and give my lower half a thorough hosing down after the final hospital scene. And another hot humourfest is SAVING PRIVATE RYAN (totally hilarious, sugary, sloppy plagiarised music, twisting of historical facts, patriotic boy soldier heroics, wasted corpses littered everywhere, but a bit anti-German which I found racist and uncalled for, so I switched off well before the end and thus missed the REALLY funny bit, I believe).

And I have another new fave funny film now: FLIGHT 93 is a total crash-hot killer (sponsored by the USAAF and the CIA no less!). And of course any film featuring Audie Murphy or Robert Ryan, neither of whom could act at all! Oh yes, and Ronnie Reagan, what a total twat he was, he couldn't remember his lines even when he played a "president"!

I just remembered that I recently saw the world's worst film on TV; don't miss it: BLOODSUCKERS (aka Incense for the Damned aka Doctors Wear Scarlet). It's so bad, the dear director asked for his name to be taken off the credits after the producers edited it out of all recognition. Be sure you have some matchsticks handy to prop your eyes open.

6. So how can you contact Edna?

If your comment is too personal or erotically stimulating to leave on my guestbook, please feel free ask me for my email address - foul abuse is particularly appreciated provided it is correctly spelled and is grammatical. Only people aged 16+ please.

Or you could email my dear friend Victor at victorthevoyeur@yahoo.co.uk - he would love to hear about any new spots where he can practise his unusual Peeping Tom activities. He is interested in amputee parties too.

xxxxxx

Edna
Poetess to the Stars
and Hornbag Extraordinaire

Also try my fabbo blogs:

ednasweetlove.blogspot.com
and
myspace.com/ednasweetlove