DropDeadChristina• Show poetry

about me: ♥ My name is Christina. ♥ I'm a sucker for a happy ending interrupted by a nightmare. ♥ I don't know what I want in life. ♥ I've been through a lot in life, so I'm good to talk to. ♥ I want to hear what you have to say. ♥ I hate the idea of stereotypes. ♥ I don't care what people think of me. ♥ I don't have any regrets... except some things I wish I had said. ♥ Orange Soda is my favorite drink. ♥ My heart is really broken and I'm trying to fix it ♥ I have a thing for scene guys. ♥ Music is my life. I prefer... - As Cities Burn - As I Lay Dying - Bullet For My Valentine - Chiodos - Drop Dead, Gorgeous - Heavy Heavy Low Low - Fear Before the March of Flames - From First to Last - From Autumn to Ashes - Norma Jean - Saosin - Scary Kids Scaring Kids - Silverstein - Underoath ~This is me and my beliefs in my sister's words.~ When some one first sees me, they see an average height, skinny, sometimes even fake brunette appearing to be full of energy without a care in the world. They think I'm just another girl. In reality, i'm so much more than that. I am the girl who thinks deeper, feels deeper and wonders deeper than most people my age. I am very ambitions, yet I constantly struggle with what it is that will make me happy. I can do anything. I have a lot of self control when I choose to use it. I am very emotional and moody. I have trouble handling myself and I get easily overwhelmed. I am a young girl with vibrant feelings and a desire to be successful. I am terrified of failing or being alone and unwanted. I also fear losing someone close to me and my time coming and not having everything finished here. I love to be the center of attention, but sometimes I just hate it and I want to be alone. I can be anti social and a bit of a loner, and I like to do things my way. I love those mornings when I wake up, and realize that I have a few more hours to sleep. I love surprises, and blaring my music so loud that I cant hear my own thoughts. I love it when I feel something so strongly, that it become my entire reality for just a few hours. I love to eat good food, and I love anything that is strange, abstract, or socially crosses the lines. I love it when people are bold and say something that others do not like. I love curling up in a warm blanket in the summer and watching the stars. I love walks and watching the summer sunset. I love having long, meaningful, deep conversations about life. I love being with that one person and just by looking in their eyes, you know what they are feeling. I love sitting in my room and listening to that one song on repeat. I love making a really sad person laugh again. I love feeling as if someone is there for me. I hate it when people do not clean up after themselves. I hate when people are two faced. I hate when there is nothing good to eat. I hate when I see people alone. I hate when I get sap on my hands. I hate putting clothes on before I dry off after a shower or being at the pool. I hate being bored with nothing to do. I hate reading out of text books. I hate when my computer doesn't work. I hate when it gets dark at 5 o'clock. I hate when music skips. I hate when parking is non-existent. I plan on getting married one day, and falling in love young. I want to have a few kids in my early 20's. I want to make a difference in the world and help fight AIDS and other epidemics. I'm going to donate all my organs and if Marco needs a heart, there might be an accidental hit and run. Who knew? I'm going to go to college and make something of my life. I think deeply on what I want, and none of this seems to be the answer. To me my future lies in the people that I will be with, and my ability to love God and do his work. I am a middle child of 3, but 9 if you include my step siblings. I am a procrastinator if its something I don't want to do but if i want to, I can get things done right away. I can be controlling and obsessive, and I hate to wait. I am impatient. I can get frustrated easily if I'm not listened to. I have excellent people skills, and my primary motive in life is giving love, support, and a good time to other people. I am focused on understanding, supporting, and encouraging others. I disagree with religion, but I believe in God. I think that religion is wrong because it puts other people who aren't followers down, and sets up dogmatic actions to "Save" you. I beleive in a perfect God that is all forgiving and loving, which means that he has no negative human emotions such as anger, hatred, or damns his creations for all of eternity. I agree with the use of weed, if the individual is successful and responsible enough to do it in the right place at the right time. I do not agree with the use of alcohol or any other illicit drugs that were not found on this planet naturally, because they are very dangerous. I believe in experimentation, and anything abstract or different. I am supportive of gays, bisexuals, lesbians and transvestites. I am optimistic and outgoing. I am caring, sensitive, and very understanding. I am a good listener when the time calls for it. I am a good friend, and I can see both sides of an issue. I over react, I over analyze, and I am over dramatic. I love instant gratification, and I don't always think through the consequences. I sometimes have a hard time handling my emotions since I am eithor really happy and hyper or really sad and hating everything. I sometimes get a little rough when I am mad. I have my own coping habits and I don't need people saying they are wrong or selfish. I am attracted to guys that aren't that great of a person most of the time. I may seem to be outgoing and feel good about myself but recently, my self image and concept seems to be getting worse. This is one thing I'm working on. I am also working on being less self centered and not letting little things bring me down.