DogTagz-TheJalapeno• Show poetry

"Inspiration comes from everywhere. If I could locate exactly where it comes from and nail it down,
I don't think it would be very inspiring anymore.
So I just let it flow from wherever it comes from. Stay lifted!"--a msg from Muck Sticky on myspace.
I had msged him asking about his insperation to write his songs,and thats what he said. you can find him on youtube.

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DON'T DENY MY AWESOMENESS!!!!
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************
*A girl and guy were speeding, on a motorcycle, over 90 mph on the road..
Girl: Slow down. I’m scared.
Guy: No, this is fun.
Girl: No, it’s not. Please, it’s too scary!
Guy: Then tell me you love me.
Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!
Guy: Now give me a BIG hug.
*Girl hugs him*
Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? It’s bugging me.
(In the paper the next day)
A motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it, but only one survived.
The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his breaks broke, but he didn’t want to let the girl know.
Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though
it meant that he would die.
If you would ever do this for someone....then post this on your page asap!!
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~ HOMOPHOBIA IS WRONG ~

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

i am the man who died alone in the hospital , because they stopped operating on my when they found out that i was homosexual .

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn’t have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

*Repost this in your journal if you believe homophobia is wrong*
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(\ /) This is Mr Bunny, please paste him on your page
(0.o) in order to help with his mission to DOMINATE the
(>">) world!!!!!
/_|_\
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sayings

"Children shouldn't play with matches!.

"You'll poke your eye out!"

"Don't forget to wash behind your ears."

"If your friends decided to jump off a bridge, would you?"

"There are millions of less fortunate children who go without food."

"If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times!"

"Because I said so, that's why!"

"If you don't stop it, you'll go blind!".

"Shape up, or ship out!"

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out!"
"Stop beating around the bush"

"Take care of the pence and the pounds will take care of themselves."

"A chain is no stronger than its weakest link.."

"Mind your Ps and Qs"

"Dot your I's and Cross your Ts."

What's good for the goose is good for the gander."

"The nice thing about standards is, there are so many to choose from."

"Cut through the red tape"

"Mind your own beeswax"

"Tie the knot"

"I have a frog in my throat"

"I gave him/her the cold shoulder."

"I got the short end of the stick:."

"Whatever can go wrong will go wrong." - Murphy's Law

"Burning the midnight oil"

"One foot in the grave."

"Burning the candle at both ends"

"Goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite!"

"Man who farts in church, sits in his own pew."

"A cynic is someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing."
A dog at a flea circus is likely to steal the show."

"A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush."

"A friend is someone who has the same enemies you have."

"I'm serious; it was only a joke."

"The deepest waters make the least noise."

"It is better to give than to receive"

"I only work to enjoy when I am not working."

"Integrity is the cornerstone of trust."

"After all is said and done, more is said than done."

"One drop of ink may make a million think."

"You never lose by loving, you only lose by holding back."

"The sleepy fox catches no chickens."

"Money burns a hole in your pocket."

"Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we may diet."

"Like a fish out of water."

"Whoever follows a crowd will never be followed by a crowd."

"After the storm comes the calm."

"Let sleeping dogs lie."

"The mind can only stand what the butt can endure."

"A rolling stone gathers no moss."

"Youth wastes away, but immaturity can last a lifetime."

"Nostalgia isn't what it used to be."

"A moment on the lips, an eternity on the hips."

"An optimist laughs to forget, a pessimist forgets to laugh."

"The rich earn; the smart learn."

"I'm glad I dodged that bullet!"

"Your secrets are safe with me and all my friends."

"Making a mountain out of a molehill."

"An obstinate man does not hold opinions, they hold him."

"Rules without relationship equals rebellion."
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cool quotes

"In real life, unlike in Shakespeare, the sweetness of the rose depends upon the name it bears. Things are not only what they are. They
are, in very important respects, what they seem to be."
-Hubert H. Humphrey

"The soul which has no fixed purpose in life is lost; to be everywhere, is to be nowhere."
-Michel de Montaigne

"Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day; live life to the fullest; make the most of what you have. It is later than you
think."
-Horace

"Four things come not back: the spoken word, the sped arrow, the past life and the neglected opportunity."
-Proverb

"If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living."
-Seneca

"Life is a sum of all your choices."
-Albert Camus

"The spirit of resistance to government is so valuable on certain occasions that I wish it to be always kept alive."
-Thomas Jefferson

"Every man has a right to risk his own life for the preservation of it."
-Jean-Jacques Rousseau

"Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage."
-Anais Nin

"And this our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in
everything."
-William Shakespeare





This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time."
Narrator, Fight Club

"Live life to the fullest."
-Ernest Hemingway

"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save."
-Will Smith

"Time is an illusion, lunchtime, doubly so."
-Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"Man is immortal; therefore he must die endlessly. For life is a creative idea; it can only find itself in changing forms"
-Rabindranath Tagore

"Life must be lived as play."
-Plato

"Life is short and so is money."
-Bertolt Brecht

"I believe in a lively disrespect for most forms of authority."
-Rita Mae Brown

"I have learned, that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will
meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
-Henry David Thoreau

"Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood."
-Helen Keller
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

"After all these years I see that I was mistaken about Eve in the beginning; it is better to live outside the Garden with her than inside
it without her."
-Mark Twain

"I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear."
-Woody Allen

"That's the secret to life... replace one worry with another...."
-Charlie Brown

"Whatever I have tried to do in life, I have tried with all my heart to do it well; whatever I have devoted myself to, I have devoted
myself completely; in great aims and in small I have always thoroughly been in earnest."
-Charles Dickens

"Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot."
-Charlie Chaplin

"To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance."
-Oscar Wilde

"But better die than live mechanically a life that is a repetition of repetitions."
-D.H. Lawrence

"Character develops itself in the stream of life."
-Wolfgang von Johann Goethe

"Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake."
-Henry David Thoreau

"Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life."
-Pablo Picasso

"A desire to be in charge of our own lives, a need for control, is born in each of us. It is essential to our mental health, and our
success, that we take control."
-Robert F. Bennett

"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."
-W. Somerset Maugham

"Let us live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."
-Mark Twain

"It must be borne in mind that the tragedy of life does not lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy of life lies in having no goal to
reach."
-Benjamin E. Mays

"In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back."
-Charlie Brown

"Life is like music; it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule."
-Samuel Butler

"Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid."
-John Wayne

"The highest use of capital is not to make more money, but to make money do more for the betterment of life."
-Henry Ford

"Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future."
-John Fitzgerald Kennedy

"My music fights against the system that teaches to live and die."
-Bob Marley

"We are here to add what we can to life, not to get what we can from life."
-William Osler

"Every man desires to live long, but no man wishes to be old."
-Jonathan Swift

" I call it... the hot dog tree, because... it's a hot dog tree."
-Pee Wee Herman

" Sun is bad for you. Everything our parents said was good is bad. Sun, milk, red meat... college."
-Alvy Singer, Annie Hall

"No culture can live, if it attempts to be exclusive."
-Mahatma Gandhi

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view... 'til you climb inside of his skin and walk
around in it."
-Atticus Finch, To Kill a Mockingbird

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is
strength undefeatable."
-Helen Keller

"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it."
-Danny Kaye

"The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it."
-Marcus Aurelius

"No matter how qualified or deserving we are, we will never reach a better life until we can imagine it for ourselves and allow ourselves
to have it."
-Richard Bach

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but
by the content of their character."
-Martin Luther King, Jr.

"If life doesn't offer a game worth playing, then invent a new one."
-Anthony J. D'Angelo

"Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well."
-Aristotle

"To save a man's life against his will is the same as killing him."
-Horace Mann

"It has bothered me all my life that I do not paint like everybody else."
-Henri Matisse

"Life has taught us that love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction."
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"Much violence is based on the illusion that life is a property to be defended and not to be shared."
-Henri Nouwen

"Where there is love there is life."
-Indira Gandhi

"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live."
-Mark Twain

"There are three ingredients to the good life; learning, earning, and yearning."
-Christopher Morley

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shakespeare insults

Thou rancorous base-court gudgeon!
Thou fawning full-gorged coxcomb!
Thou impertinent toad-spotted strumpet!
Thou mumbling decayed withered-hag!
Thou bootless spur-galled foul deformity!
Thou beggarly tardy-gaited bum-bailey!
Thou pestilent fen-sucked clotpole!
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I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be smart.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm an ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.
I DON'T HAVE A RELIGION, so I MUST not have morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I'm JAMICAN so I must smoke weed.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a stuck up bitch.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a bitch.
I wear skirts a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a stupid ditz.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking bitch.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible bitch.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big peter.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fuck them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.
I HAVE BIG BOOBS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool.
I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy.
I'm a STONER, so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be a prude.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly or crazy.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon and fried chicken.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST have a small peter.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't FLIRT WITH GUYS AT SCHOOL so I MUST be gay.
I dont like the SUN so I MUST be albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I wear BOY'S CLOTHES so I MUST be a lesbian or a dyke.
I'm POSTING THIS so I MUST be a groupie.

~*Post this in your profile if you think stereotyping is just plain wrong*~

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FRIENDS: FAKE OR REAL????

FAKE FRIENDS: try to make you do somthing you don't want to
REAL FRIENDS: are the reason you don't have regrets
FAKE FRIENDS: call your parents Mr./Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: call your parents DAD/MOM
FAKE FRIENDS:bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong
REAL FRIENDS: would sit next to you saying "Damn.... we fucked up... but that shit was fun!"
FAKE FRIENDS: never ask for food
REAL FRIENDS: are the reasons you never have food
FAKE FRIENDS: borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back
REAL FRIENDS: keep you stuff so long they forget it's yours
FAKE FRIENDS: know a few things about you
REAL FRIENDS: could write a book about you with direct quotes from you
FAKE FRIENDS: will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing
REAL FRIENDS: will kick the whole crowds ass that left you
FAKE FRIENDS: would knock on your front door
REAL FRIENDS: walk right in and say "I'M HOME!!"
FAKE FRIENDS: are for awhile
REAL FRIENDS: are for life
FAKE FRIENDS: will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch drink the rest of that you know we don't wate shit
REAL FRIENDS: will take your drink away when they think you've had enough
FAKE FRIENDS: will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you
REAL FRIENDS: will knock them out
FAKE FRIENDS: would ignore this
REAL FRIENDS: will read this


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Austin: Hello is Lynn there?

Mom: Sure. Hold on.

Lynn: Hello?

Austin: Hey. it's Austin. how was your day?

Lynn: It was fine, how was yours?

Austin: It was ok.

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~akward silence~
---------------------------------------


Austin: Sooooo......

Lynn: Sooooo.....

Austin: You doin anything tomorrow?

Lynn: Nope, why?

Austin: Uhh, umm, maybe, uhh, I dont know, we
can, hang out or somethin?

Lynn: Umm sure when?

Austin: *big smile* Great! uhh, how about around
6:00pm or something?

Lynn: Alright! I'll meet you over at the park then...

Austin: Ok then.

Lynn: Well I gotta go, but I'll see you tomorrow?!

Austin: Ok, see u then....

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-----next day------
--------------------------------------

*** Lynn walks over to the park and see's Austin
sitting on a bench waiting for her***


Lynn: Hey, whats up?

Austin: Uhh nothin, I'm happy too see you.

Lynn: *smiles* Me too.

Austin: Alright, how about we go take a walk?...

Lynn: Okay.

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***As they walk she grabs ahold of his hand, Austin
*smiles* as they walk through the park.***

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----starts getting dark----
---------------------------------------


Lynn: Brrr, it's getting a little cold out.

Austin: Wanna go sit on the grass under a tree?

Lynn: Sure.

Austin and Lynn: *takes a seat near a tree while Austin holds Lynn in his arms keeping her warm *

Lynn : Thank you, I feel much better now.

Austin: Me too.

Lynn: *giggles* Why is that?

Austin: Cause I'm with you...

Lynn: I'm happy with you too...

Austin: Uhh, umm, ...nevermind...

Lynn: No, what is it, you can tell me...

Austin: It's just....

Lynn: Yea???

Austin: I feel different when I'm with you.

Lynn: What do you mean?

Austin: I mean, you make me wanna be with you
for the rest of my life, I've never had anyone make me
feel the way you make me feel...

Lynn: *blushes* I feel like that too...

Austin: I...I...lov.....


Lynn: *leans over and kisses him*

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-a few moments into kiss-
---------------------------------------


Austin: Uhh...*blushes*

Lynn: I love you...

Austin: I love you too and I always will.

Austin: *holds Lynn as they look up at the stars*

** Austin and Lynn fall asleep under the stars **

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10 YEARS LATER

Lynn: WORKING AS A MAGAZINE EDITOR, 24 YEARS OLD


Austin: WORKING AS A MEDICAL DOCTOR, 25 YEARS OLD

The two dated up until prom night where Austin
asked Lynn too be his wife.....

Lynn Straube is probley one of the happiest women
on earth, Austin is probably the luckiest man....



_______________________________________
I am not okay
I never have been
and never will be
I realize this
and embrace the fact
that I am insane.
GO INSANITY!!!!!!!!!!
If you are insane then post this on your page.
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girl facts

When you catch a girl
glancing at you,
she wants you to look
back and smile

When a girl bumps into your arm
while walking with you
she wants
you to hold her hand

When she wants a hug
she will just stand there

When u break a girls heart
she still feels it when
you run into each other 3 years later

When a girl is quiet,
millions of things are running through her
mind

When a girl is not arguing,
she is thinking deeply

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of
questions,
she is wondering how long you will be
around

When a girl answers, "I'm fine," after a
few seconds,
she is not at all fine

When a girl stares at you,
she is wondering why you are playing games

When a girl lays her head on your chest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever

When a girl says she can't live
without you,
she has made up her mind that you are
her future

When a girl says, "I miss you,"
no one in this world can miss you more
than that

When a girl is mean to you after a break-up
she wants you back, but shes
scared she'll get hurt and knows
you're gone forever

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Guy Facts:

When a guy calls you,
he wants to be with you

When a guy calls you to just say hi or stop by to say hi.. he is thinking of you and can't get you off of his mind...

When you are on the phone with a guy, and no one is talking, he doesn't get bored, the only thing he cares about is the time that you share...

When a guy looks into your eyes, he is looking into you

When a guy is quiet,
He's listening to you...

When a guy is not arguing,
He realizes he's wrong

When a guy says, "I'm fine." after a few
minutes
he means it

When a guy says "you are beautiful," he means it

When a guy stares at you,
he wishes you would care about him and
wonders if you do

When your laying your head on a guy's
chest,
he has the world

When a guy calls/texts/comments you everyday,
he is in love

When a (good) guy tells you he loves you,
he means it

When a guy says he can't live without you,
he's with you til your done

When a guy says, "I miss you,"
he misses you more than you could have ever missed him or anything else

repost this in 10 minutes and your true love will call you

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if someone was in your mind as you read this
Post this
When I run away from you...
- Chase me

When I pout my lips...
- Kiss me

When I kick and punch...
- Hold me tight

When I call you a loser...
- Just know that you're my loser

When I am silent...
- I'm thinking of how to say I love you

When I ignore you...
- I want all your attention

When I pull away...
- Grab me by the waist and never let go

When you see me at my worst...
- Tell me I'm beautiful

When I scream at you...
- Tell me you love me and mean it

When you see me walking...
-Sneak up behind me, grab me, and give me a kiss

If I don't call you...
- I'm wanting you to call me

When I'm scared...
-Hold me and tell me everything's okay, 'cause I'm with you

When I look like something's the matter...
- Kiss me and tell me not to worry


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Girl: I'm always here for you
Boy: I know
Girl: What's wrong?
Boy: I like her so much
Girl: Talk to her
Boy: I don't know. She won't ever like me
Girl: Don't say that. You're amazing.
Boy: I just want her to know how I feel.
Girl: Then tell her.
Boy: She won't like me
Girl: How do you know that?
Boy: I can just tell her
Girl: Well just tell her.
Boy: What should I say
Girl: Tell her how much you like her
Boy: I tell her that daily
Girl: what do you mean?
Boy: I'm always with her. I love her.
Girl: I know how you feel. I have the same problem. But he'll never like me
Boy: Wait. Who do you like?
Girl: Oh some boy
Boy: Oh... she won't like me either.
Girl: She does
Boy: How do you know..
Girl: Because, who wouldn't like you?
Boy: You
Girl: You're wrong, I love you.
Boy: I love you too.
Girl: So are you going to talk to her?
Boy: I just did.
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1. why do they use steralized needles for death by lethal injection?

2. why does superman stop bullets with his chest but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

3. why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

4. why do people run over a string a dozen times with a vaccuum, reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vaccuum one more chance?

5. when we're in a supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart and apologizes, why do we say "that's alright"? well it's not alright, so why don't we say "that hurt you stupid idiot!?"

6. why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something falling off a table, you always manage to knock over something else?

7. why does someone believe you when you say there are 4 billion stars, but they check when you say the paint is wet?

8. why doesn't tarzan have a beard?

9. why do we press harder on the button of a remote when we know the batteries are dying?

10. why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?

11. how do those bugs get into enclosed light fixtures?

12. why do people constantly return to the refrigerator, hoping something new has materialized?

13. why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

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92% of American teens today would die if Abercrombie & Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe anymore. If you're part of the 8% that would be laughing their butts off, put this in your profile.



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"A shot to kill the pain

A pill to drain the shame

A purge to stop the gain

A cut to break the vein

A smoke to ease the crave

A drink to win the game

An addictions an addiction

Because it always hurts the same"


~Author Unknown
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-PLEASE READ THIS-

My name is Sarah.
I am but three,
My eyes are swollen.
I cannot see,
I must be stupid.
I must be bad,
What else could have made
my daddy so mad?
I wish I were better.
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy would
still want to hug me.
I can't speak at all.
I can't do a wrong
Or else I'm locked up
all the day long
When I wake I'm all alone
the house is dark
My folks aren't home.
When my mommy does come
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll get just
One whipping tonight!
Don't make a sound!
I just heard a car.
My daddy is back
From Charlie's Bar.
I hear him curse
My name he calls.
I press myself
Against the wall.
I try and hide
From his evil eyes.
I'm so afraid now
I'm starting to cry.
He finds me weeping
He shouts ugly words,
He says its my fault
That he suffers at work.
He slaps me and hits me
And yells at me more,
I finally get free
And I run for the door.
He's already locked it
And I start to bawl,
He takes me and throws me
Against the hard wall.
I fall to the floor
With my bones nearly broken,
And my daddy continues
With more bad words spoken.
"I'm sorry!", I scream
But its now much too late
His face has been twisted
Into unimaginable hate.
The hurt and the pain
Again and again.
Oh please God, have mercy!
Oh please let it end!
And he finally stops
And heads for the door,
While I lay there motionless
Sprawled on the floor.
My name is Sarah
And I am but three,
Tonight my daddy murdered me.

Paste this into your profile to help stop child abuse.


_______________________________________

Your Personality Type:
Chiller
Your fairly open and extremely laid-back style makes you the Chiller. You're relatively flexible and able to get along with many different kinds of people. You enjoy a balance of social and alone time in your life. You enjoy people, but you also try to spend some quality time by yourself indulging your imagination. Emotionally speaking, you are unstable and likely experience stress and anxiety quite often. While you don't allow life to pass you by, you have an appreciation for the natural order of things. You don't put much effort towards being conscientious, and your lack of dependability and self-discipline shows and likely adds to your emotional instability.

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-----///\\-----Please
----///-\\\----put This
---|||---|||---on Your
---|||---|||---page If
---|||---|||---someone
----\\\-///----you knew
-----\\///----- passed
------///\-----away because
-----///\\\----of
----/// \\\---Cancer or has it

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"Yeah, Sometimes I think love is just a biological urge. Other times it seems like a spiritual quality. Love, unlike energy or matter, seems limitless."

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~*!*~ 16 Things to do at Wal-Mart ~*!*~

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares.... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! '

16. Open up a TV and start poking around inside of it with a serious look on your face. When on of the employees asks why you are messing with the inside of the TV, look at him like he's stupid and say, "I'm trying to disable the bomb, only I can't remember if it's the blue, green or red wire that I cut to disarm it. I didn't really complete my training.....darn that man....." Look back at the TV and point to a wire and then scream "BOOM!" and then start laughing.
I LOL everytime I READ THESE!!!