Digitaldreams• Show poetry

While previously I had written a v. long, verbose, and it it's own terms, lovely paragraph here, I was forced for my own reasons to delete it. In the unfortunate turn most things take, I can hardly remember what precisely was here, and am not willing to put the effort it would take into trying to copy it. I'd rather write something new. It's in moments like this that I just want to write, not about anything, but just to write. Like having a conversation, but with no one else there. Sometimes I believe my entire life is one cosmic accident. Anything I've ever learned to do, discovered I had a talent for, or gained interest in has fallen upon me more or less by accident. Other times I think my life could not have possibly been more well planned and perfectly executed. The one thing that both of my theories have in common is that no matter which course my life takes, or what led me there, I am doomed to be the All-American Fuck Up. I love music. I'd give my soul (if I believed I had one) to be a famous musician. But it will never happen. I love art, but try as I might, I'll be never live up to the standards of other artist. I've never believed in self pity, but as usual, I am an utter hypocrite. As for my other beliefs, which strike some people as fascinating, other people as pure lunacy, I don't believe in any god, but I do believe in reincarnation. I don't believe in love. I don't believe in falling in love. I believe that if no one remembers you after you have died, then you have truly ceased to exist. I believe that everyone should hear at least one Marilyn Manson song in their lifetimes, mainly because, as typical and disgustingly overdone as this sounds, that band above all else has had the largest impact on my life. And I believe that everyone should dance in the middle of a crowded hallway and not care what anyone else thinks. Am I a peculiar person? I'm not ever sure peculiar begins to cover it. But I dreamed once, in a rather nightmarish form, that I destroyed the world, and I believe the words of one person could accomplish that.