Desired-Lucidity• Show poetry

  "Beautiful damaged and derranged 

scuffed up but not broken

beautiful"

(my lil K) 

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How did this happen?  How did I become so frail, so weak? i can’t stop the feeling inside me.  I hurt bad, its not right. 

All these people reaching out to a hopeless case like me, why?  Everyone trying to get inside my mind and thought process, one that I can’t even comprehend, how would they?  Im insane or at least I feel like I am.  Who stares back at me through the mirror is a girl I barely know. She desperately wants help, needs help.

Just give me something to make me numb when the feeling comes from being alone.  How the tears won’t stop falling.  

I can swim in a pool with them.  Brush me off and pick me up, un-break me if you can.  Do the impossible and fix me, the million little pieces I have crumbled in to.  Make me feel whole again.  Whether you can or not just make me believe it.  Tell me a story of happy times.  Ones I can’t remember. 

Too many lost causes like me.  Looks like we just lost one 

more.  And there I go slipping through the cracks barely making it.  My chest is heavy and I can’t breathe, somebody help me. 

Please I'm reaching out, yes me, the strong one, I’m throwing myself under the bus and surrendering.  I need more than this. This empty feeling of sadness.  I wanna feel again.  i'm tired of the numbness my body subsides to. 

I smile when the pain is coming cause I know deep down even if it hurts there is a part of me that’s still alive.  As sick as that sounds it’s the plain truth.  How dark the words have become that flow so easily from my lips across to the screen.  Almost shocking that they come with such flow.

 

Hopeless Case

Written by: Anonymous

    I have this feeling inside that I wouldn't like me if I met me. It seems like a losing fight, if you can see thru my eyes then you'd believe me. The truth is that I’m overrated; I can't think straight, I'm formulaic. The truth is that it's sad to say it, but you can't help me. I've always known a ghost like me, can disappear in a moment, I’m my own worst casualty. everything I touch can get broken, the truth is, that I’m self-destructive, I’m insecure, I’m out of focus, the truth is, that I’ve had enough but you still help me. you don't see me that way, you hear the words that I say, you just tell me that my heart's in the right place, it's the world that's confused and it's never too late to save a hopeless case. You’re giving me perspective, it's better than mine, and I will still be defective and you're wasting your time