CnstntDissonance• Show poetry

The first inconsistency one would find in someone such as myself posting on a poetry site is the simple fact that I am, first and foremost, a musician. This would generally mean the bulk of my writing has, in fact, been lyrics. I began writing poetry many years ago, but stopped almost as soon as I started because of the... disturbing nature of my poems. Some five or six years later, I'm not too bothered by that anymore. Round two, ladies and gentlemen!

My writing is considerably different. Let's just say it's very firmly rooted in the realm of the ridiculous:





Sitting alone in my room with the lights off, I contemplated my life and all its complexities, and I pondered...

Oh, God... What did I do to deserve this?...

Why is this happening to me?... Why?...

"Well," said God, much to my astonishment, "I'm afraid to say it's because you're an idiot."

What?...

"Oh, yes, it's true."

But--

"I'm not making this up, Brandon, it's in your file right here, see?" And God showed me my file. Inside was a record of every second of my entire life... And the official document declaring my idiot status right in front.

Oh...

"Well, look on the bright side," said God. "At least you haven't reached 'Utter moron' status yet--"

"Message for you, Sir!" said Gabriel, and handed God a single sheet of paper. He read. He frowned.

"Never mind..." he mumbled. "Seems that little stunt in Florida with the hat and the pole you ran into put you over the top..."

Oh... Well, ok then... Um... Sorry to have bothered you...

"Oh, for Heavens sake, Brandon, stop moping! It's your own damn fault anyway!" He peered at my file again. "I mean, look at this! Reckless endangerment, manipulation, dishonesty, running into poles!..." He chuckled. "Actually, the pole thing was rather funny..." And he disappeared, still chuckling.

Wow...

So that was the day I met God.