Cimbolic• Show poetry

I've been informed that the best of my writings are chaotic and anarchtic. I write when I'm in the mood, which, unfortunately for everyone reading, is usually when I'm upset. When I'm angry, I try to keep myself away from the better things in life as to avoid corrupting them. When I say angry, I don't mean "had a bad day and need a drink" angry. I'm a 19 year old kid who occasionally gets the burning urge to set fire to every memory that he's ever tried to escape, and disgrace every concept of any situation that irritates him or reminds him of things he'd rather forget. I have a pure hatred for a certain type of indecency that conflicts my rules and boundaries, strong enough to make me act against my own morals and turn into a person I am not. I try to keep that person on paper and out of peoples' lives. I try to take the images of situations that strike cords in me and compile them into an orginized bundle that I can burn at will. I have been cursed with the inability to ignore things that bother me without forgetting who I am.

I am not an unreasonable person and I am quite sane. I am a peaceful person filled with hate and injuries just like half the other people on this planet. I empathise too much and find too many reasons for everything. Although I am reasonable, there is still a misled and forgotten child in me that seeks atonement and appreciation for his sacrifices. Some of my writings may carry an essence of childish attitude. You may think to yourself, "He really needs to lighten up and control his emotions." My technique for controlling myself is to dump the ugliest of myself into a place where it will not hurt the people I care about, whether they care about me or not. I do not wish to cause anyone harm, and that is hard for me sometimes. I won't act surprised, but there are people who actually appreciate my ugliest feelings in this place.

It's time for a change. I miss the bricks and wandering, unexpectable circumstances of home. I haven't felt at home in a long time.