Audalyra• Show poetry

My name is Ci-Ci (pronounced C. C.). I am a 17 year old girl and not that great of a writer in my mind, my friends tell me differently. To me, however, a piece of writing should be magical and deep and have hidden layers that only the best could ever realize are there. It should be entertaining and deep at the same time to please many different types of readers. I'm not really into poetry, mine anyways. I do like other people's poetry however.

I am a senior at my High School and just finished my color guard season! Finally!!! OH the DRAMA!! LOL! I am totally fascinated by Vampires and shape shifters and such. All things paranormal are so sexy! Wish I could find a real vampire to have as my very own, oh the sexiness!! God I'm weird. Anyways, I read fantasy books, sci-fi books, and romance books. My very favorite books are paranormal romances. Sexy, sexy men on those covers, and the dreams I have.  . . . . YUMMY!

I live with my parental units, though I am remedying that soon, YAY for colleges!! Ummmm . . . I get really depressed for no reason sometimes and should probably get medication for it because it is bordering on suicidal manical depression. I have tried to kill myself 3 times since I was in the seventh grade. I haven't lately because I talk to my friends about it and they help, my boyfriend is my biggest and best medicine. Yummy!

I tried doing the Goth thing for a while, that didn't work out too well. I love black and it is a good color for me, but I love bright colors way too much to stop wearing them, and I can't stop smiling. Even when I am sad I am smiling, so no point in being totally gothic to me. I gave up after a week. Can't do the Emo thing either, I can't cut myself. That is what has stopped me from killing myself every time/ manically paranoid about getting cut.

I have a few different paranoias, though I won't bore you with the descriptions. I have a lot of phobias too. My phobias include:  spiders, being buried alive, being cut, dying (especially young, though just the thought of dying terrifies me.), being strangled (anything that touches my neck makes me freak out. I think it is an after effect of some past lives. WON'T go into those though, unless you really want to talk about it, then you can im me.), never finding true soul renching love, being completely alone, getting a terrible disease like AIDS or something, and a few more. I know this seems like a lot to most of you out there and you are probably thinking, "No way can one person be so scared of all those things." Well, you don’t get short of breath and panicky every time one of these things crosses your head or happens. I do. And I have gone and talked to doctors and psychiatrists about it, they are in agreement that I am weird and totally paranoid and overly preoccupied with death. I can't help it. I experienced a lot of death from a very early age. That is about it on the psychological problems.

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I am pretty average and normal I guess, though there isn't really anyone normal in the entire world. I have so many random friends that I don't know what to do with them. Ummm . . . I like people as a rule; though there are some that I just want to kill, and stuck up preppy people are at the top of my list, second is my boyfriend on some days. JK! I love him, though he is a pain in the ass most of the time, though he makes this pudgy girl feel totally like a Goddess!! LOL!

Umm . . My favorite animal is cats, my favorite color is pink or black, and my favorite flower is the white rose. I like to write books and short stories. They are my life, but I like to write poems too. They are different and always a challenge. Especially if you go with a rhyme scheme, and having a poem totally flow with all that mumbo jumbo poem talk. Which I am not that good at, can't do it at all. I try to make beautiful and deep poems that rhyme and flow like magic, I fail miserably. I won't subject anyone to my attempts, they are beyond terrible. In fact, I am pretty sure there is no word for how bad they are. LOL!! K, I think I am done with that.

I don't ever know what to write in these things and no one can really help me because I'm not exactly like anyone else out there. All well. I think I am done writing about me. Chao!