An Old Codger• Show poetry

Welcome to the wild and wacky world of

An Old Codger

Pull up a piece of floor and have a seat.   I’d offer ya a chair but AP said their budget couldn’t handle the purchase price.

Read at your leisure, walk around, shop a little, and if you see somethin’ ya like I’ll give ya my best price.  You can read the ramblings below if ya want but I can’t guarantee you won’t have a headache when ya get finished.  I cannot be held responsible for any damage caused.  Please keep your hands and feet inside the car at all times and I hope you enjoy the ride.

         This is where I'll answer some questions I've been asked and throw in a few

       just for the heck of it.

1.    You want to read my work?   Come on in, the water temperature changes with my mood but it should never be too cold.

2.    You want to comment on my work?  Knock yourself out.  I’m always open for any comment.

3.    You want to criticize my work?   Go ahead on.  I’m a grown man and if I can’t take a little criticism without gettin’ my feelers hurt, I shouldn’t be here.

4.    You want to slam my work just to mess with me?   Don’t let me stop ya.  But don’t expect a reply cause you ain’t gettin’ one.  I’ve walked through the fires of hell in my life and some fool on a web site ain’t gonna shake me up.  If that bothers ya then I suppose you can take your candy and go mess with the other little kids on the playground.

5.    You like my work?  Thanks, I appreciate you takin' the time to read it.

6.    You don’t like my work?  Thanks, I appreciate you takin' the time to read it.

7.    You want to know somethin’ about me?   Ask.  Be advised though, you’re gonna get a straight answer.  Of course now if I’m in one of my “poke ya in the eye with a sharp stick” moods, I’m probably gonna have some fun with ya and joke a little.

8.    You like my hat?  Thank you.

9.    You don’t like my hat?  That’s okay too.  I won't make you wear it.

10.  You want my name, address and phone number because I may have just won ten million dollars from Publishers Clearing House?  Good Lord, don’t just sit there, bring it on over!!!

11.  Are you gettin’ tired of readin’ all this yet?  Too bad, there’s more.

12.  Am I a redneck?  Not unless I’ve been out in the sun too long.

13.  Am I an old country boy?  Yup

14.  Am I a cowboy?  Now this is gonna take a bit to answer.  In my world now, I’m a cowboy at heart.  I was a workin' cowboy for a lot of years, abused my body, and now I’m payin’ the price.  I can’t even sit a horse any more.  But I wouldn’t trade those days for anything.  Those of you who know what I’m talkin’ about can understand.  Those who don’t get it, well, I’m sorry to say you never will.  Let’s just leave it at that.

15.  Do I talk the way I’m writin’ here?  Sometimes.  It all depends on who I’m talkin’ to or what I’m talkin’ about.  I can be as country as stump whooped chitlins or I can cut a radio spot with great clarity.  Yeah, I’ve done that too.

16.  What the hell does “country as stump whooped chitlins” mean?  If ya don’t know, I'm not sure I can give ya a good explanation.  It has to do with cleanin' chitlins and beatin' 'em against a stump. For all you city folk, the correct spelling of chitlins is chitterlings.  Google either spelling and look for proper cleaning and recipes.  I hope ya have a strong stomach.  Maybe you can figure it out from there.

17.  Why is so much of my work written in rhyme?  Cause I like it and it makes me happy.  I figure it’s up to me to be happy and it’s okay with me if ya don’t like it.  I don’t read things I don’t like and I don’t expect you to either.  I do try my hand at other styles occasionally but I would rather write rhyme.

18.  If you made it this far I congratulate you on being bored enough to actually read it all.  However, don’t be surprised if you drop by again and see more of my ramblings added.

19.  One of my favorite signs in the whole world reads, “All my friends bring me great joy.  Some by comin’ in, others by leavin”.  It’s up to you to decide which one you are.  I’ll treat ya with respect regardless and I’ll expect the same in return.

20.  You will find that I occasionally write about the old ways of American Indians.  I have studied, read and been a student of their old ways and philosophies.  I have found many of their words to hold great wisdom.  I have great respect for them, their religions, their beliefs and their ongoing battle for fair and equal treatment.  Being part Choctaw myself and my wife being part Cherokee, we feel a kinship of sorts.

21.  Why do you call yourself an old codger when you're not that old?

         All I can suggest is that you read the poem linked below and see if it answers 

       the question.

         http://allpoetry.com/poem/5383973  

Thanks for stoppin’ by. 

The door’s always open and the coffee’s always hot. 

For those who prefer it, tea will be served as requested.

Before ya ask, the bar is in the back, cash only, tipping is optional.

Ya’ll have a good day now, hear?

"Truth and lies flow freely from the same mouth and fill ears with lasting impressions.  Listening to a liar is like drinking warm water."