Agrona• Show poetry

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It is said that an insane person never takes the time to ask whether they are insane or not. The simply have too much else to do rather than contemplate their insanity. I am an exception to that.

As of late the world is falling down around me. I cannot write. I cannot even bare to read my past writes without being disgusted. I cannot live because I am so unfocused that I can not see. And I find that despite what is said or what is believed I am really alone. Though there are people who care they do not listen.

No one really hears... They simply decide that if they listen that is enough. That if I get it all out that is all that is needed for me to feel better.

Under normal circumstances that would be true. Right now it is not. It is not enough to be heard anymore. I need help that cannot be provided. I am breaking down, bit by bit, minute by minute. And I find myself growing more and more mindkilled.

Why?

Why do I even try to rationalize anything anymore. It's all my fault anyway. And the fact that I am not strong enough to hold up all the people I love and care about...that fact is enough to push me to breakdown just like everyone else is.

I cannot hold them up any longer. I cannot even stand on my own two feet...let alone support the weight of those I care for.

Here on my knees before you I am sobbing to find relief. I am begging for a way out. I want to hide away from it all...never to rise again. And yet I cannot. So you will all watch me in my fall. You will watch as my skin cracks and the paint peels. You will gaze upon my conciousness as it unwinds into the threads left to be played with by mastermind kittens, searching to torture me.

Here is the answer to life.

X amount of care + infinite Y amount of distruction = Helplessness

There is my following. My answer. My insanity and the emptiness becomes me don't you think?

I hope so...it is all I have now...not even you can truly see...until you've looked into my glassy eyes and cried for mercy. Otherwise you will be swallowed whole, and drown in something you will never really understand.

This is my reality.

I am not your typical insane person. I AM however, insane.

The words are...
"I love you..."


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