Aesthete• Show poetry

I am a writer. Maybe. It is, at least, something I do. I think that to be a very common disposition in regards to a thing that, itself, seeks to be profoundly uncommon. Writing… it’s an odd thing, a beautiful thing, an ugly thing, an intelligent thing, a bland thing. People as writers tend to fall into one of those slots, or become a mixture; a genetically selected category; such a hopeless place, one's inherent circumstance. What one is capable of, and what is thought of oneself; a necessary conflict. Delusion is a primary piece in the "will to continue."
Basically what I'm dicking at is that writing is a ridiculous thing. I understand, but seek to protest, the modernly ubiquitous claim at the words "poet," writer." Creation isn't so romantic, isn't so magnificent as some people make it seem. It’s very unrewarding and unappreciated, as is the proper result for most would be writers. For something so unacceptable and financially dry as writing, I don’t see what the compulsion is to identify oneself in the ranks. (besides the need to identify, somewhere) No one ever achieves the fame and success of JK Rowling, and few attain (it is foolish to reach for it, or think it deserved to oneself) the precious immortality of BRILLIANT writing. If I tell someone I write (which I don't) the general reaction seems to be that they think I'm a faggot, or a loser; they frown on it, and then they walk off with their noses raping the fucking sky.
If you enjoy it, do it. But if you can stop writing and be satisfied with yourself, then you are not a writer. If you have to force yourself to sit down and say hey, time to finally write! You are not a writer. If you dream of praise and fame when you write, you are not a fucking writer! And I very well may not be one, but I feel pretty smashed up about the world when I'm not working. And when it does happen, its explosive, its exhilarating, its incredibly gratifying, and sensational on a personal level. (though sometimes I absolutely loathe it and myself.) It just happens spontaneously, regardless of where or when. It is only for me; my pain, my pleasure.
I am certainly not saying I am some great thing; I am not justifying my drivel here. Its okay to be vain, to be hopeful, to want something. I’m just saying, as the fucked up young thing I am, this is something I do. I don't need you. I don't need publication, or attention, or support or literary longevity or some shit... I just write.


And I also play a mean kazoo.
(I should be coming out with a CD soon.)