A x e l• Show poetry

I am The Flurry of Dancing Flames....

Number VIII

Name's Axel. Don't forget it.

I Support Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexuals.
If you've got a problem with this, I don't give a shit. I'm Bisexual myself.

Homosexuality isn't a disease.

"A Monologue for the Broken Heart"

"Put none of thy faith in me,
For I will disappoint and
Squander it selfishly as a
Human must. Allow me to
Make you no promise, as
I will most certainly destroy
It, no matter how I try.
It would be by my hand
That you reached your
Demise, unbeknownst to
Either of us two, of course.
Alas, I have once kissed thy
Lips and ere, I have murdered
Thee; I have unwittingly signed
The Devil's contract and in
Giving you up in my place, I
Have doubly condemned myself.
Be wary, all you that trust in
Me- I am a selfish creature, by
Whom courtesy and mercy are
Not known. Tread lightly, as the
World is much quieter now, though
The wreckage still remains.
If thou canst recall all of these
Things I once promised to thee,
Thou shalt find that all these are
But falsities, though that was never
My intent. I tried for your sake and mine,
To let you slip away easily, perhaps even
Unnoticed... Such separations are complex
And I still find myself unable to fathom
This empty part of myself that you used
To fill . I cannot help but allow
Myself to contemplate the depth
Of this damnable abyss that continues
To feed on me; this gaping hole that may
Never be filled again. But is it worth such
A misery that we found in eachother?
The constant wars and verbal murders
Were just too much to bear... Yes, I
Love thee, and have loved thee, and
Will always love thee... I just cannot
Bring myself to remain in such a place
That I found myself in before. I would
Offer my apologies to thee, in exchange
For a silent departure, but that would
Mean that these aforementioned apologies
Would have to exist. I am not sorry
For the choices I have made. I will
Always remember you, and you will always
Be a part of me. If it is meant to be,
Then it shall find its way. But as for now,
There is nothing that shall remain
Between us, save for my unwavering love
For you, and this knife in my
heart."
© Victoria Fielding, All rights reserved

Indeed.

The Heart only hurts when it's knowledged about true feelings.
If you care about nothing... Then nothing should care about you.


Desperate isn't an emotion... It's a want or need to be desperate...


-You Know You're A Band Nerd When-
(Concert Season Version)

...you list your band director as an emergency contact.
...you make band jokes in a class where there are no other band people...then try to explain, get exasperated, and have to say "It's a band thing."
...you list your band director as a reference on job applications.
...you know that you "Don't go there."
... you do fire drills, you complain that your teacher should let you go to the band room, since that is where you'd be in a real fire. (gotta protect the instruments!)
...your reed budget is higher than your food budget.
...you respond to band geek/dork...and tentatively tell them it's "band nerd", and you're proud of it.
...people ask about your social life and you say, "Oh, you mean my band?"
...you can play more than one instrument well...not counting your primary made in different keys. (ei: A Clarinet, C Trumpet)
...all of your conversations eventually get around to the subject of band, unless you started them, because then they're already about band.
...you can finish other band members' sentences.
...your instrument has a name.
...you have dreams about band.... (>>)
...you actually can sight-read.
...you start to spell Band with a capital B.
...you actually understood why people got their awards at the band banquet.
...you hang out in the band room before, during, and after school.
...you know your band director's phone number.
...you relate everything to band.
...you have an involuntary foot tapping to any music.
...you know more people in band than in your graduating class.
...you've ever been hysteric over a piece of music.
...you don't see anything abnormal or odd about practicing for three months for a twenty-five minute concert. (UIL!!!)
...you don't see anything odd about practicing All-State etudes for four months for a ten minute audition, heck, you're practicing six months.
...you no longer think that the oboe, English Horn and Bassoon are weird instruments and wonder why all the freshmen flock to see them when taken out of their case and played. (That is STRANGE....though....I am an Oboest...)
...you can hum, play, and sing your parts.
...you actually know how to fix your embouchure.
...you're on band council.
...you don't try to hide the fact that you're in band, infact, you tell people without them asking.
...you can't wait until the band banquet.
...you refer to people by instrument, not name.
...you use band as a synonym for life.
...more than half the CDs you own are of people who play the same instrument as you and/or classical music.
...you just know there's a secret evil reed conspiracy.
...you get frustrated with your high school band director because sometimes he doesn't take your music serious enough.
...you say 'we' and 'us', and everyone automatically assumes you're refering to the band.
...you'd choose the band banquet over Senior Prom any day.
...you memorize music better than vocab words.
...you make your own comic strip about band camp!
...you refer to people by section/instrument, not name.
...you value your instrument more than life itself.
...you still have last year's music memorized.
...you still have all your music from every year you've been in band.
...you think of what life without band would be and begin to cry.
...you hear a song on the radio and it only takes you a minute to figure out how to play it on your instrument.
...People who aren't in band stare at you funny when you say you've been studying your fingering chart.
...You can't empty your pockets without finding screw drivers, valve oil, cork grease, etc. ... even if you never use any of that stuff.
...You know someone's personality by what instrument they play.
...You can't walk into a music store without sighing happily because its like you just walked into heaven.
...Whenever a teacher calls on your to answer a question, and you don't know the answer, you say "Band?"
..."Band" makes up most of your vocabulary.
...You can tune any instrument by ear - even a tuba (whoa, you're good!).
...If a raging fire and/or tornado ripped through the area, the only thing you would care about was getting to your precious instrument.
...The first question you ask somebody, after you ask their name, is "Are you in band?" (ok, ok... before asking their name,)And If they say no you walk away immediately.
...You laugh your butt off when your band director sings your part to you.
...You walk to the band room every morning and as often as you can, because you love it so dang much.

END!!! (OHMEHGAWD!!! Finally!)
(This takes about 5 mins to read for the average person)